


Beyond the Bonds

by AloneShadow



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Bromance, Character Study, Established Relationship, Evil Plans, Friendship, Friendship or love, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Minor Violence, Open Ending, Post-Avengers (2012), Steve Angst, Team Feels, Threats, Tony Angst, Tony Has Trust Issues, and this won't help, guilty feels, mild swears, or maybe it will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-09-18 11:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 65,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9381668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AloneShadow/pseuds/AloneShadow
Summary: Steve had already found himself in bad situations in the past, but being forced to betray Tony Stark was probably one he had never thought about.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was actually ready in the past november/december, but then Christmas called attention. Trying to fix it for the new year and January decided to test my survival skills with sickness, snow, more snow, trees on fire and MORE snow... 
> 
> About the fic: not sure in how many chapters this one will be split (this story has become longer than I expected) but, if January will not kill me, I'll update the info and the tags while betaing and fixing the story's details. 
> 
> Hope you'll like it, and sorry for any mistakes *cries in italian*

_“If he don’t want to stay, its fine.”_

_“Tony, come on…”_

_“No, no, it’s fine. Don’t really care that much.”_

_“Sure… just enough to scream about it for half hour.”_

_“Pep, seriously, his life, his choice.”_

_“You know he have his reason to-“_

_“You don’t want to drop it, don’t you?”_

_“I’m just trying to not-“_

_“He want to be free, he can be. He’s the freedom himself. I’ll sure won’t stop him.”_

_“Tony, please, a war just ended-“_

_“Yeah, and I almost died to give us a chance to win without destroying an entire city-“_

_“I know that.”_

_“but if it’s not enough to be- I don’t know, to be more than a ex weapon seller, then I have no idea what else could be. And don’t put all this on me, because all the team asked him the same.”_

_“He just need to-“_

_“Yes, he told me what he need. So, end of the story. Good job and goodbye.”_

_Steve Rogers rarely found himself hating the powers the serum had given him, but this was one of those few times._

_He was on the balcony outside the top of the Stark Tower, sitting on the stairs still partly destroyed from the fight that had taken place there: Thor and Loki had fun there, and inside the building, people were trying to fix all the devastation in the hall. Bruce told them that Loki fell on the floor a couple of times… and Clint just commented a_ mashed _between some amused coughs._

_New York was still smoking from the explosions and the battle, trying to cope with the corpses of terrifying aliens in the streets, with the destroyed buildings and with the loss of too many lives._

_Steve breathed deeply, the black jacket open on the white shirt, playing with a piece of concreate in his hands that he promptly let fall when he heard someone open the glass door of the balcony, or what left of it. He turned around and stood._

_Pepper Potts stopped in front of him with a resigned expression on her face; her long red hair loosen over the cream-colored dress. “Captain Rogers, I-“_

_“Steve, please.”_

_“Steve, I’m sorry, I tried-“_

_“I know. I heard it.”_

_Pepper blinked and then sighed, “Super powers?”_

_“Super powers.” He smiled a bit, “No need to apologize. Maybe I should. I really start to feel like I took the wrong decision.”_

_“It’s not wrong just because Tony hate when people don’t recognize his efforts.” She smiled patiently, “He… he is like a child that feel betrayed when no one say well done after he did something good.”_

_“You have to tell him that often?”_

_“At least once a day.” She nodded and both laughed softly, “But, really, he is happy that this story is over and he was just ready to celebrate. Like the rest of the team.”_

_“I told him that he can do that. I’ll come back for it and-“_

_“But it’s not only that.” She thought for a moment and then said, “Tony is right about one thing: everyone would like you to stay.”_

_“I know. I didn’t said that I’ll won’t come back… I need to talk with Fury, try to elaborate everything that happened. I don’t feel like to stop now… not yet.”_

_Pepper studied him for a moment, “You’ll leave the city?”_

_“No. I don’t think so. I’ll keep in touch- or more like Fury won’t lose me for a second.”_

_“Probably.” Nodded Pepper._

_Steve looked behind her for a moment, in the hall where Tony was screaming something at Clint, “When he calm down, could you tell him Well done for me? He wouldn’t believe me anyway… Looks like I can’t talk to him for more than five minutes before start fighting again.”_

_Pepper smiled patiently, “That’s probably because he likes you.”_

_“Not sure about that…” Steve huffed a laugh, “Like with his father, it’s hard to keep up with all his talks. His mind is like in an infinite race.”_

_Pepper sighed, “He stop sometimes. He just need the right reason for it.” She saw him smile softly at her and she blushed a bit, clearing her throat, “Anyway, I’m sure he will understand your need to breathe on your own for a bit. Just…” she got closer and handed him a little card, “call if you need something. Anything. And at any hours. The Stark- the Avengers Tower will be always open for you, Captain.”_

_“I know… and I appreciate it, really.” Steve took it, “Take care, Pepper.” He nodded a goodbye and reach for the hall again, waving a hand at Natasha and Bruce that do the same from the kitchen. Clint was standing next to the elevator, ready to give him a bag that he grabbed with a nod of thanks before enter the cabin._

_Steve took a breath and pressed the button of the first floor. He saw Tony finishing his drink staring impassible at him, leaving the glass on the table and walk away without say anything until the doors closed._

\- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Steve’s plans after leaving the Tower almost a week before, weren’t very clear: for a moment, he was ready to knock down the Agents that were keeping an eye on him trying, and failing, to be super stealthy, and run away from everything. For a moment he thought to go back where his old house should be and stare at the new building probably built in its place. For a moment he wanted to use the number Natasha given to him and call Peggy… In other moments, the worst moments, he wished to be still in the ice because the future wasn’t so bright as the people in the 40’s dreamed about. 

The war, his war, was over, just to start fighting another one against aliens from another dimension. 

The soldier inside him keep telling to follow the orders, to fight without questioning too much all that madness that he was seeing because apparently this was normal now, everyone was able to deal with it, and also because he was already three steps away from start to scream and run away, saying goodbye to everything and everyone. Even to Captain America. 

He still was Captain America… but he wondered for how long? For how long he could continue to be the mighty hero before start to ask himself if the people still needed him? How long before start to wonder if Captain America was actually ready to continue to exist in a future where alien Gods could fight along with them? A future where a man in an armor could fly into the void, save the world and come back with just some scratches? 

People really needed a guide anymore? And how he could guide someone if he had no idea of where to go from there himself? 

_Just follow the orders._ The soldier’s voice was tempting. 

“Captain?” 

Steve blinked and looked away from the city outside the window. “Yes?” 

“Director Fury received an urgent call. I fear will be impossible for him to see you today.” Said the woman in black dress. “You want to leave a message?” 

_Yeah, tell him that Steve Rogers will not be available for the rest of the year._ Steve just shook his head, “No, thanks. I just need to give him the report of the city’s status. I can leave it to you?” 

“Sure.” She took it and do a quick check on it before look back at him, “Something else I can help you with?” 

“No, that’s all.” He had spent days running all over the city and the HQ in those days. Was almost a pleasure to finally give those documents to someone else.

She nodded and smiled a little goodbye before walk back to the elevator. 

Steve looked outside, the gray sky over the city of Washington where the SHIELD was building the new HQ. He heard the phone ring and took it from the pocket: the message from Clint said, -Party is tomorrow evening at the Tower. You’d better be there, Cap.- Steve sighed and put the phone away. Sure, because a party was exactly what he was in the mood for.

He walked back to his room to change from the Captain’ suit to more casual jeans and shirt, closing the jacket when he left the building and the cold wind of the evening hit his face. 

Riding his motorcycle was probably one of the few things that help him to relax. Looking at the road and focusing on the sound of the wind into his hears… until he parked next to the door of the building he was living, and the phone rang again, this time a call. He sighed at the name appearing on the screen, “Hey Clint.” 

“You’ll be there tomorrow, right?” 

“I can read, you know?” 

“Well, you didn’t answer.” 

“Just got home.” He dropped from the motorcycle, “But yeah, I’ll be there tomorrow.” 

“You better, because Nat will be mad if you don’t. And we all fear that Tony will probably start crying.” 

Steve laughed a bit, “I doubt it, but I don’t doubt about Natasha.” 

“So you’ll come?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Alright. Don’t forget.” 

“I won’t. Everything’s alright there?” 

“You’d know already, if you’d found a damn moment to come here and say hi.” 

“Fury kept me busy these days. Sorry.” 

“You better find a better excuse for the others, tomorrow.” 

“It’s not an excuse. You know it.” 

“Fine, fine. See you tomorrow then. Bye.” 

Steve closed the call and breathed before enter the building and walk upstairs to his apartment. He opened the door, closed it and placed the shield against the wall. _Home_ , he thought looking at the place still impersonal. Some boxes were on the floor, waiting to be emptied. 

He walked to the window and then something made him frown: he placed a hand on the wall to stay up while the vision started to go blurry. He felt a light burn on his hand and looking down at it, he saw that the palm was almost red, as if he had touched something hot… but he didn’t. 

Turning to the door, he found a dark figure in front of it, a hand grabbing the other wrist on the front, waiting in the dark on the apartment. “Who are you?” Steve took a step forward, only to fall on one knee, almost ready to retch. 

“Sorry, that was a bit rude, I know.” Said the figure with a male voice. 

“What- …?” Steve tried to stand, just to fall completely on the floor. 

“I need to talk to you, Captain Rogers.” Said the man, “A pretty long chat I fear but, before that, you can have a nice rest. We’ll have time to talk later.” 

Steve couldn’t even feel fear or tension. He was going to faint not because of then pain, he just felt sick… horribly sick, like the worst flu of his life, but that was impossible… 

“Don’t fight it, Captain. Just relax. You were so tense all this week... you should take more care of yourself.” 

The serum wasn’t stopping it… the serum should have stop the sickness, the dizziness…

Steve closed his eyes, because he couldn’t do anything else, but lose conscious. 

*

Steve woke up staring at a ceiling decorated with a lamp turned off. The little room was quiet and immersed in a weak gray light, but was hard to say if it was coming from a window behind him or from some other point in the room. 

He tried to move, but some big handcuff were blocking him at the bed by his wrists and ankles. Steve pulled again, but he was still feeling dizzy and weak... both things that shouldn’t have happen to him. 

“Looks like the Captain is finally awake.” 

Steve flinched a bit at the voice and tried to follow it behind him, turning his head until it almost hurt. 

“No reason to panic. Everything’s fine.” 

“Where am I?” Asked Steve, rage on the edge of every word, “And who are you?”

“So many questions… I understand that, but I am not forced to give you any answer, am I?” Said the man while moving to sat on a chair next to him: the man had a strong accent, short sandy hair and dark eyes that were calm and focused on the soldier; he kept his hands in the dark long jacket when he sat down. 

Steve studied him for a moment, “You better start talking.” He said in the end. 

“Do I?” 

He smiled a bit, “For how long you think I’ll stay like this?” 

“I would say… until I will took that away from your arm.” The man said.

Steve followed his gaze and saw a needle in his left arm, some liquid dripping in the IV close by. He pulled harder, trying to break free. 

“Captain, please. Like I said, there is no need to panic.” 

“What’s in there?” roared Steve, “What are you doing to me?!” The last time he was in this kind of situation, he was ready to become Captain America, and it was a good thing, after all he’d agreed to do it, but still the feelings of being a rat-lab under the looks of a bunch of doctors lingered. 

The man looked at him until the soldier was calmer, “You want answers, and I can actually tell you something… some information to help you relax.” He nodded, “A good information is that I don’t want to kill you. Another one is that I will remove that from your arm very soon because, and this is another nice thing to know, we have already done everything that needed to be done.” 

Steve froze, staring at him. 

“See? Good news. Soon you will be free to walk away.” 

“What have you done to me?” 

“Nothing more than what we needed.” 

“Tell me what it is. What- who are you?” at the silence, Steve could just scream a furious “Tell me!” 

“Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?” said the man, “My name is Christopher, and despite this particular situation, I’m very honored to know you, Captain Rogers.” 

“Sorry if I don’t feel the same.” 

“You don’t have to. I understand.” 

Steve’s urge to punch that composed face was starting to drive him crazy, but also he feel his head more clear and he remembered something, “You were in my house… it was you? You poisoned me with- with what? What was that thing?” 

“It was something we casually discovered, actually. It’s really amazing how many things you can create with the right elements.” Christopher stared at him more serious, “It wasn’t poison, Captain. Just something to help you relax.” 

“Right. So I should thank you for that?” 

“Well, you slept a lot with the minimum use of it, so I presume you need it. It must have been a very busy week for you.” 

Steve dropped his head on the bed, “So you were following me.” 

“Of course. It was part of the job...” 

“What job?” 

“and also we were curious to see Captain America’s ability to cope with another war again. Sadly, I fear we have lost the more interesting part. Aliens in New York.” He shook his head in disbelief. 

Steve frowned, “So what, you expect me to share information about it?” 

Christopher smiled, “Oh no, we don’t need you for something like that.” 

“You won’t have my help for anything anyway.” 

“We’ll decide that at the end of our conversation.” Christopher leaned forward, elbows on the knees, “What we need you for, Captain, it is maybe to obtain some information as well, but actually we… we need only one little thing we think you can provide to us without much trouble.” 

Steve’s first though was the Tesseract, but that thing have left the planet days before, going back to Asgard along with Thor and Loki. He didn’t have anything else so important for an organization like this one. Aside one thing, maybe… 

Christopher smiled again, “No, Captain, we don’t need your blood.” He said, like he could read into his mind, “We could get plenty of it so far, anyway…” he said looking at the IV for a moment.

“Why you didn’t?” Steve was confuse. And nervous. 

“We know the serum is a delicate matter for you, and we don’t need you to hunt us down forever. This will be a simple, quick request. We just want you to take something for us.” 

Steve blinked, and then scoffed a laugh, “You want me to steal something?” 

Christopher nodded with another calm smile, “Not just _something_ , Captain. We need you to steal the New Element for us. The New Element Anthony Stark have created years ago.” 

Steve’s surprise was probably clear like the sun on his face because the other nodded slowly to confirm the request. “Stark created a new element?” he asked. 

Christopher sighed patiently, “Captain, we know you have read the files about all of your friends…” 

“They didn’t say anything about a new element.” 

“Please, tell me you don’t really think that I will believe that…” 

Sad thing is, Steve was actually saying the truth: the files on Tony talked about the Stark Industries, his kidnap and his hostage days in Afghanistan where he started to create the Iron Man suit and that Stark stopped selling weapons right after. It said something about an implant in his chest and Steve have saw the blue light under his t-shirt on the Quinjet, but he don’t really knew much about it, just that was important to him. No one told him exactly what it was. Tony kept most of the info as far away as possible from SHIELD and in the end Steve… Steve didn’t bored himself to ask anything about it. 

“Even if he told the world that he is Iron Man, doesn’t mean that he like to share his life with everyone.” Said Steve. 

Christopher nodded slowly, “Not with you, it seems.” And stood up. 

Steve wished those words didn’t hurt, but they actually did. 

The other come back in front of him with something similar to the tablet Bruce and Tony usually used, and after some movement on it, he turned it for him to see: the screen showed a picture of Tony from far away, the blue lights visible under the shirt once again. Around the photo, there was some technical draw of something similar to a core of some sort. 

“This is what Mr. Stark is hiding.” Said Christopher, staring at him, “And it’s also the box that contain what we want.” 

_So that’s the implant…?_

“You really don’t know much about it.” Commented Christopher, interested. 

Steve heard the curious tone in his voice and he looked at him again, “Why you need it?” 

“That does not concern you.” He put the tablet away, “You just need to take it for us.” 

Steve nodded with a sarcastic grin, “Free me, and I’ll do it. Promise.” 

Christopher smiled calmly, “You will be free today, Captain, I told you that. And you will help us to obtain this little thing we need.” 

“You better search for some other thief. I’m sure plenty of them out there are waiting for a stupid mission like this one.” 

“It took us lot of time to be ready, Captain. Everything is settle now: you, Mr. Stark, the Avengers…” 

Steve eyes flashed in anger at that. 

“Yes, we know lots of things. About your friends as well.” Nodded the other, “But we choose you for the task. I am sure that you are the perfect person for this mission, like you call it.” 

Steve was still shaking his head, “Sorry, I’ll pass. Betray a teammate to help some freaks isn’t really my style.” 

“I know. I know that very well.” Christopher moved closer and started to unbutton his shirt. 

Even if useless, Steve tried to move away from those hands and pushed the handcuff even harder.

“This. This make me think that you will accept to do what we want.” Christopher said, moving to sit on the chair again. 

Steve looked down on his own chest: there was a line over his heart, as if he had been operated recently. He stared at it for a long moment, and then looked at the man again. 

“I told you we waited long time before decide to start our plan, Captain. We had lot of time to think about everything and create the best, easier strategy.” 

“What have you done to me?” 

“Let’s say that it will help you stay focus on the mission, keeping your eyes on Mr. Stark.” 

Steve’s mind was spinning at full force, “What…?” 

“It is an implant that will change a bit your body, Captain. Your heart. Your blood.” 

“My blood it’s already-“ 

“Not in the same way of the first time, no.” 

Again that horrible feeling of being a rat running in circle in a box… 

“We studied a way to make your body react to the New Element.” Christopher smiled as if he was explaining something truly amazing, “You will be connected to it. Wasn’t easy, it took us time, many tests and actually many men to find the information we needed, but we are pretty sure that it will work.” 

Steve didn’t say anything. His brain was still trying to catch up with every words he was hearing.

“If you will follow the plan, you will have nothing to fear, I promise. We just need the Element, and then you will be free again. We know how to reverse the connection too, of course.” 

“How… how can I be connected to an element?” 

“You can see it like…an allergic reaction of some sort.” Christopher explained, “The connection is almost the same, but the other way around.” He stood up and stopped next to him, “You will need to stay close to it, Captain. Find it, take it and give it to us. That’s all.” A phone rang and he took it from his pocket, moving away. 

Steve was still trying to understand what was happening, what they have done to him: connected to an element… allergic to it, but in the other way around… need to stay close to it or… or what? 

Christopher closed the call and came back next to him, looking calmly as always, “I know it’s a lot to deal with, but we know you are a soldier, the perfect soldier. I’m sure I have gave you all the information you need to be ready for the task.” 

Steve nodded, “I’m sure ready to punch you in the face and throw you and all your sick friends in some jail very far away from me and from Stark.” 

The other just smiled slightly, “I understand your rage, Captain, I really do, but there is no other choice. Everything is settle and everything will go as we planned: find Mr. Stark, bring the Element to us and you will be free. You will never see us ever again.” 

“If you really think-“ 

“You know how allergic reaction works, yes? You had some… health problems yourself in the past, am I right?” 

Steve tightened his fist, pulling again, starting to feel the handcuffs stir a bit. Finally. 

“The reaction is simple: the more you will stay away from the Element, the more you will feel problem to breath, to see, to move… it will be probably a long and stressful process because of you healing skills.” Christopher made an almost sorry face, “It could send you into a coma, maybe, or actually kill you, we can’t be sure about that, but I am sure you are not very eager to discover it anytime soon.” 

“How did you know all this?” 

He smiled softly, “I have told you, we made our homework from long time. We know what we are doing.” 

“Still, you’re not sure about the consequences… or if it’ll work at all.” 

“You have been paying attention.” He commented almost smugly, making the Captain look away, “It’s still a prototype, after all. We are… 97% sure it will work.” 

“And what if that 3% will win?” 

Christopher thought for a moment, “If that happens, you will be free and we will probably need to leave this country and never come back.” 

“And kidnap me, told me your plans to steal the Element, threatening my team... You really think we’ll just let you get away with it? A failure is worth all this?” 

“A _possible_ failure. You forgot that you have only that 3% on your favor, Captain.” He patted his arm, but his glare was now dark, “Don’t be too much full of yourself.” 

Steve watched him playing with the handcuff. “What you’re doing?” 

“I keep my promises.” He said, moving to the door. 

Steve frowned only for a second before found his wrist free: he pushed the other one so hard that the little bed flipped and he was instantly on his feet, ready to jump on that crazy man and punch him to death, but he stopped after two steps. 

Christopher had the tablet again, showing him different places, different cameras around a city, probably New York: a park with kids playing, a bank, a school, an hospital. “Easy there, Captain.” He said softly but looking at him with that dark glare again. 

Steve stared at the videos without moving. He already knew what all that was about. 

“If you kill me now, the hospital will be destroyed. If you try to say something to someone about my plan, the bank will be destroyed. If someone will discover about my plan, the park will be destroyed… same fate for the school, if you fail the mission.” Christopher tone was cold but still with that shadow of politeness. “I told you we had all the time to think about every possibility.” 

Steve didn’t moved, hands in clenched fists. 

Christopher putted away the device, “I knew you would understand.” 

“I won’t steal anything for you.” 

“Oh? Captain America is ready to let all those people to die?” 

“It could be a bluff.” 

“It could be.” Nodded Christopher, grabbing his phone again, “We can easily prove it. Shall we?” 

Steve watched the man place the phone close to the ear, and tried to think, think about anything could save him from this situation, but if those places were really in danger… if those lives really were in his hands now… 

“It’s me. The Captain asked to show him-“ 

“Wait.” 

Christopher stopped, looking the soldier that was staring at him with anger, “Never mind. Yes, almost done.” He closed the call, “Good choice, Captain. We are serious enough to kidnap you, after all. If you don’t believe us, you will just need to go against one of the rule I told you before.” 

“You’re insane.” 

“Am I? I think we just had a nice and polite conversation here. I need you to do something for me, nothing more.” 

“Nothing more aside the blackmail.” 

“We are not stupid, Captain. We know that for us would be impossible to take the Element. Stark is good in his job, defending himself from the rest of the world… that’s why we think that someone already inside his castle maybe could succeed where we can’t. For now.” 

“You think I can fool him?” 

“You think you can’t?” 

“We fight together, that doesn’t mean that-“ 

“That means that he trust you enough.” Christopher continued, “And I am sure you will be able to use that in your advantage. Mr. Stark is just a man, after all. And you are the super, perfect soldier ever created.” He smiled when the other just shook his head, looking away. “But I know it will take some time, so no rush. This way.” He opened the door and left it open. 

Steve followed him down a little stairs that suddenly lead him outside: they were under a bridge, it was New York. He turned around and stared at the big truck he just left. 

“The Tower is right in front of us.” Christopher said next to him, pointing ahead and checking his watch, “I think the reaction will start working quickly so don’t waste your time in some stupid action, will you, Captain?” 

“I still have faith in that 3%.” 

“I know you do.” He smiled, going back on the vehicle “And I will give you that. Only once. Have a good day.” 

Steve watched him for a moment and then started to walk away: this was crazy. All of this, all of this was a nightmare, it couldn’t be anything else. It has to be. 

He reached the street buttoning his shirt; he looked back and the truck was gone. He took a deep breath, a hand over his heart, and then looked up where the top of the Stark Tower was visible over the other buildings. 

Steve shook his head and looked for public telephone, going the other way. He had to call Fury. Or Bruce, or… or Natasha, someone needed to be warned, to know what was happening and- 

Steve slowed his pace, blinking: his head was spinning slightly, like the beginning of getting drunk, “Damn it…” he moved unsteady over the closest wall, trying to focus. He needed that 3%, just that… 

“Like I said, I let you try about that 3%, Captain.” 

Steve recognized the voice, but only a needle in the neck gave him enough energy to move away with a half roar, falling sat on a bench. 

Christopher put the syringe away and said with a cold face, “But you lost. There is no 3% and I will let you go away with this futile attempt. Only this one. I won’t help you again.” 

“What’s in the syringe?” 

“Something that will help you to stay alive for a bit more, if you mind to reach the tower as I asked you.” Christopher said, sitting next to him, looking at the people walking around in the morning traffic, “Next warning will be an explosion in this beautiful city you fought so much to protect. We are not joking, and we are ready to prove it to you.” 

“What if I decide to die, then?” 

“Here? Now?” The other looked a bit surprised, apparently thinking about it, “Well, it could be a solution, I guess. In that case, we will sure feel obligated to help you.” 

Steve frowned a moment and suddenly there was pain over his heart again, strong enough to make him bend forward a bit. 

“We have control over that little, amazing thing we putted under your skin. We really wouldn’t like to lose it, you can understand.” 

“You son of a-“ 

“Don’t be rude, Captain, we are in the street. Kids could hear you.” 

Steve kept a hand over the wound and just waited, looking down. 

“So, we need to help you or not?” 

“No.” 

“Good. Very good. We will stay in touch and be ready for it, just in case.” Christopher stood, “We are not joking around, Captain. Do not do anything stupid again. I say this for your own good, and for the other’s too.” 

Steve felt the pain finally start to lessen. He looked up, but Christopher was already gone through the crowd of people. He grabbed tightly the fabric of the shirt and took a deep breath before look up at the tower again. 

For now, there was no other choice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Destroying wood with bare hands really helps releasing stress and rage. Also it can leave you with fingers half destroyed... Oh well. *go back to destroy wood*  
> *suddenly think about Steve breaking wood scene in AoU*  
> *lost in the thought for the rest of the day*

The Stark Tower was busy as always: men were still repairing some walls and windows on the first floor, but the building wasn’t going to collapse, so some people were already starting to go back and check the situation, to keep the Stark Industries running as fast as before the battle. 

Pepper was probably more than enough to fulfill the job by herself, and she was probably already working on it behind the scene, but even she couldn’t do everything. Almost, but not everything. 

Steve knew it, and that was the main reason why he was terribly nervous all the way from the entrance to the elevator. He was worried sick to find himself in front of Pepper and show her how out of breath, angry and nervous he was at the moment. 

The reaction started to slightly hurts again when he entered the tower… apparently, he was still too far away from the New Element. From Tony… if he was really there.  
What if he wasn’t in the Tower? What if Christopher was wrong and Tony had just left without warn anyone as he usually did and- 

The elevator stopped with a low _ding_. The living room of the top floor appeared over the doors and he jumped out, feeling better. 

Steve looked at the doors closing behind him and took a deep breath, hardly keeping under control the need of push the button again and run away. He straighten his back instead and tried to look at least half-good. 

“Hey.” 

Steve turned, just in time to stop a punch directed to his face. “Clint.” He said, kind of relieved, but another punch was the answer and he wasn’t ready to stop that too, he _really_ wasn’t, so he just accepted it. He sighed, passing the side of the hand over his face, looking back, tiredly, at the spy, “Nice to see you too.” 

“Where the hell have you been?” 

_Oh, if only I could tell you…_

“Cap, seriously. What the hell?” Clint said, calling back his attention, waving his sore hand.

Steve cursed into his own mind: he was still so confuse, so angry during the trip to the Tower that he actually haven’t thought about all the lies and excuses he probably needed from now on. He didn’t had time to think about anything but trying to keep going. 

“I... I was stuck in some research.” 

“For three days?” 

Steve blinked. 

Clint shook his head in disbelief. “You completely forgot about the party and then, what? You just thought that running away for some day could save you from Natasha?” 

“I-”

“Because you’re lucky, she got a call yesterday and she’s off for a mission right now.” 

_Three days…_

“I asked to search around for you because I really wanted to punch your face, and trust me, better me than Nat. Or Bruce.” 

_I have lost three days… three days with those mad people putting devices on me, playing with me… maybe with my blood too..._

“Steve?” 

He looked back at him when he felt a hand over his arm and moved away from it a bit. Clint’s expression was hesitant now and that wasn’t good. “Sorry. I know, I’m sorry I miss it, I… I got a lead on some friend of mine, old friend… and I mean _actually_ old.” He forced out an ironic, little smile, “So yeah, I- I end up in a little town, talking about the good, old times with a happy grandfather of four kids.” 

Clint stared intently at him all the time, “You could’ve have warn us.” 

“My phone died.” 

“Geez, Cap…” Clint shook his head a bit and the other nodded, “Look, ok, I get it, you have all the right to do whatever you feel up to, but… we were all waiting for you. You could at least tried to warn us about your sudden trip somehow.” 

“I know… I wish I had.” Steve nodded slowly. _I wish I could have_.

“You hurt Tony’s feelings.” 

“God help me…” Steve said, smiling tiredly, but the smile faded in few seconds. He really didn’t have much to laugh about Tony at the moment. 

“You’ll need all the luck you still have.” Clint zipped up his jacket and looked better at him, up and down. “Aren’t you freezing?” 

“Ah- no, not really.” Not the smartest idea running back in the tower after three days, wearing just jeans and a simple t-shirt, but at least he could blame Christopher for that. 

“Serum magic?” 

“Yeah…” 

“Nice. Well, I’ll let you handle the mad inventor. SHIELD is calling for me from yesterday.” He said, walking to the elevator. 

“No one else stayed here?” 

“Bruce was thinking about it, I guess he’ll need some time to make up his mind. You can find me at the SHIELD HQ if you need me. About Natasha- well, hard to say when or where she will be in the next days,” he enter the cabin and turned to look at him with a I-know-things grin, “but I’m sure she will come to say welcome back to you, once she’ll be back in town.” 

“I’m sure she will.” Sighed Steve. 

Clint pushed a button, “Don’t disappear again, alright? Fury was ready to call the entire SHIELD into a possible rescue mission.” 

_"We studied everything, Captain. We’ve done all of our homework.”_

Steve could hear Christopher’s voice in his mind. He nodded at Clint before the elevator’s door closed again. Of course they knew better not to alarm the SHIELD and all the Avengers. He was Captain America, after all, recently woke up from an ice cube and already fighting a war against aliens. He was probably on constant watch all the time. And not only by SHIELD, apparently.  
Someone was waiting for the right moment to act, and an postwar wasn’t the perfect time? 

Steve slowly passed his fingers over the wound on his chest and sighed again. “JARVIS?” 

“Welcome back, Captain Rogers. How can I help you?” 

“Thanks. Where’s Tony?” 

“He is busy on a maintenance problem at the moment.” 

“Can you tell him that I’ll wait here for him?”

“Of course.” 

Steve nodded and walked to the bathroom, closing the door and turning the key three times before look at himself in the mirror and damn, how he didn’t scared Clint was a mystery: he was slightly pale, messy hair and shirt half off the trousers. Well, maybe he didn’t scared him after all, more like just give him a very wrong impression… 

He sighed and washed his face, smooth his hair a little and the clothes. Once done that, he looked at the line over his heart: the wound healed already, but the scar was still there, visible like never happened with any other wound he got in the past. It was because of the reaction to the Element? Or maybe something with the device Christopher was so happy and proud about… 

Something wasn’t right. Something more than the nightmare he was living now. It was something in his body… he almost thought about his blood, but that couldn’t be. Those crazy people sure wouldn’t be able to reform or change the serum… right? 

Steve shook his head and lowered his shirt again, and straight his back before leave the bathroom, trying to look a bit less desperate. 

“Look who’s still alive.” 

Steve stopped after some step in the hall, finding Tony in the little kitchen. “Hey.” 

“ _Hey_.” Tony repeated thoughtfully, the coffee’s mug halfway to his mouth, “I don’t know if I should feel happy about a so manly greeting, or offended because honestly I was expecting something more.” And there it was: the Stark-look that means _You fucked up, I know, you know and I’m ready to go full drama about it_. 

Steve moved closer, “Sorry, I was-“ 

“I know, don’t worry, no need to repeat everything again.” 

“You… you know?” 

“I heard you talking with Clint.” Tony took a sip of his coffee, “My tower, eyes everywhere, remember? Well, almost everywhere.” 

Steve stopped when there was only the table between them, “Yeah, I… I know. I remember.” He actually didn’t and he better do so, if he wanted to keep those bombs around the city harmless. He couldn’t risk to be spotted. 

“So, how was the trip?” 

“Good. Wasn’t very far away… just lost time to find the house.” 

“I thought you didn’t want to search for your old friends.” 

“I guess I changed my mind.” 

“Yeah, no kidding... Four kids, uh?” 

“Worse than an army… but he still can handle it.” 

“I’m sure he can. Who’s he, by the way?” 

Steve blinked, then shrugged, “Just an old friend.” 

“And he wasn’t surprised to see you walking and, you know, breathing?” 

“I didn’t killed him with a heart attack. It’s something.” 

Tony scoffed a laugh, “Well done.” 

Steve allow himself to breath normally, but then couldn’t stop himself from look down at the blue and white lights visible under Tony’s shirt: that was the reactor… the New Element. It really was so important? He wasn’t feeling different right now… 

“Captain, you still here?” Tony waved a hand over his eyes and he blinked again, looking up at him. 

“Just thinking about- never mind. You said something?” 

“I asked if you’re ok.” 

“I am.” 

Tony frowned a bit, studying him, looking at his chest for a moment. 

Steve instantly felt the panic rise: Tony created the Iron Man’s suit after all… maybe he could feel the device hidden under his skin somehow? Maybe JARVIS could? Oh God, JARVIS sure could. He probably was in the most technologic building of the U.S.A., for Lord’ sake- 

Tony didn’t miss his tension, “Are you sure you’re-“ 

“I’m sorry.” Steve blurted out, looking straight at him, “For the party. I- I miss it. I could’ve warn someone but then I- I forgot.” 

Tony blinked a couple of time and then nodded, “I heard that. Not a problem.” 

_Crisis adverted... maybe_. “I should’ve called.” 

“You should’ve but, c’mon, we knew you’d rather skip it.” 

“I don’t. I just found the lead to a friend and-“ 

“A friend without name.” 

“and I wanted to try and follow it. It was important.” 

“I know. That’s why I said its fine.” 

Steve sighed, “You say it, but you don’t mean it.” And that was something he should have keep for himself, because Tony’s eyes became more cold.

“Well, I’m sorry if I was the only one saying that no, Captain America would’ve come to celebrate the victory after a war against aliens, he sure wouldn’t miss it.” 

“I was going to join you, I just-”

“You have your priorities and I get it, we all get it, aka: its fine.” Tony stopped him, now with a nervous voice, “I’m the last person that can blame you for staying away from this Final Fantasy team we are part of anyway, so don’t bother yourself to invent excuses. That spot is already taken. By me. So, have a nice day. You already know where the exit is, right?” He said and walked away. Conversation over.

Steve watched him disappear into the laboratory upstairs and only then he leaned against the table: try to stay close to Tony Stark? Close to the only person that probably hated him more than anyone else… 

The nightmare was just getting worse and worse. 

.-.-.-.-.-.-

Steve didn’t actually decided to ignore the three days he had lost after his kidnap, but he decided was probably better not to focus on them for his own mind’s sake. He couldn’t remember about them anyway, or at least that’s what he was sure about at the beginning. 

He suddenly started to have flash of memories: a dark room, cold air, people coming and going; he couldn’t move, he couldn’t scream and then he couldn’t see either…

Steve jumped up and hit something with his head, something that yelled in pain. He was ready to see Christopher smiling politely, but he found someone else. 

“Dammit…” Tony was sitting on the floor next to the couch, a hand over his forehead. 

“Captain Rogers is awake and healthy, Sir.” Said JARVIS, with kind of a light pleasure. 

“Yes, I can see that…” murmured Tony. 

Steve was trying to control his own heartbeat, looking around and slowly start to calm down: he was still in the living room on the top floor of the Stark Tower… and he was wearing the same clothes. 

“Thanks for the headshot.” Snorted Tony, back on his feet. 

The Captain forced himself to bury the tension somewhere, “I… I think I fell asleep.” 

“You fell asleep here yesterday afternoon.” 

“...What?” 

“You came back after disappearing for three days and then fell asleep on my couch for almost thirteen hours straight. Steve, what’s the problem?” Tony raised his arms in resignation.

Steve just passed his hands over his face, grateful that Tony had not left for the Europe while he was sleeping. “I guess I was more tired than I thought.” 

Tony stared at him, completely unimpressed, “That’s it?” 

“Sorry, next time I’ll ask your permission to fall asleep on your couch...?”

“I’m too sober for this.” That said, Tony turned and walked to the kitchen. 

Steve moved his legs out and stood up, but his head started to spin for a moment and he fell down on the couch again. 

“Really, I know we are all a bit shaken from the battle, but you’re supposed to be the soldier ready for everything.” Tony placed two cups on the table, pouring the coffee in one, then looking at him, “Please, no rush.” He said ironically. 

The other just tried to ignore him, waiting for the dizziness to lessen. 

“And by the way, I’m not saying that you need my permission to sleep here- there, on the couch. I just thought that you were already back to home. You’re in Washington, right? Fury told me that you tried to-” 

“Did you left the tower this morning?” 

Tony put down the cup, breathing hard, “Yes. Is that a problem for you?” 

_Yes, a big problem_. “No. I think I woke up for a moment and… I don’t know, maybe I heard you or someone else talking.” He couldn’t start questioning about where he went and for how long, he just couldn’t… but the dizziness was a hint to know that Tony had left for a bit. Luckily, just for a bit.

Tony kept staring at him in silence. 

“Did I need to ask your permission to use the bathroom too?” 

“I give up. Really. I’m out of here.” Tony just grabbed his coffee, shaking his head, and kept murmuring to himself while leaving the hall to go back upstairs. 

Steve smiled a bit, because he needed to. The other choice was to start crying and screaming.

Once out of the bathroom, refreshed and more awake, feeling somewhat normal again, Steve looked up, able to see only Tony’s back, still busy on who knows what. He then looked around, unsure. 

“There are some clean clothes for you, Captain. On your left.” Said JARIVS and the soldier found them on a chair nearby, “Actually, Mr. Stark asked for them. He wasn’t sure it would be the right decision.” 

Steve smiled tiredly, “It is. Thank you.” He said, changing the old t-shirt to a clean and fresh… Stark Industries t-shirt. Steve stared at the logo and sighed, slowly shaking his head and just like that, it hit him: he couldn’t waste any more time. He had to find a solution to this nightmare and he should start thinking about it right now. 

Christopher said that they didn’t want him to rush on the mission, slow and easy like they have studied all the rest, but it was clear that sooner or later they would’ve start asking news about the Element, and to press him with the bomb’s threat. 

Tony wasn’t an enemy, and Steve would never stolen from him something he created, something apparently so important. Despite how hard, painful and risky it could be, he needed to find a solution, keeping the others away. 

“JARVIS?” 

“Yes, Captain?” 

“Tony will stay in the lab today?” 

“Usually he spend most of the day on his projects, yes.” 

Steve nodded, “Can you inform me if he’s going to leave?” 

A moment of silence, “Can I ask the reason?” 

“I’d like to visit the tower for a bit... and I think I’ll need to talk to him later.” Steve tried to keep it cool, but was terrified to hear JARVIS’ voice sound almost suspicious. 

After another seconds of silence, the AI said calmly, “Of course. I’ll warn you if Mr. Stark will be called outside.” 

Steve started to breathe again and after one last look at the lab, he walked to the elevator, starting to descend the Tower one floor after another.

.-

That’s how he spent the rest of the morning: he could see the confusion on the employee’s faces, watching Captain America in casual clothes (the Stark Industries t-shirt probably wasn’t helping), walking around the Tower like a tourist, asking information about the structure or about the status of it after the battle.  
At some point, after three or four floors, Steve opted for the stairs, trying to get less attention and so he kept going until the fourteenth floor, where he started to feel dizzy; one more floor down and the vision started to blur. 

Steve slowly walked upstairs again, thoughtfully: five floors before starting to feel sick. From the information he got about the Tower, that should be around fifteen meters… still, it sure wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. 

Not quite happy, but more confident at least about his range of action, he returned to the top floor just to find Pepper standing in the middle of the hall, reading some document. “Good morning.” 

She looked up at him, surprised, “Captain- Steve. You’re here.” 

“I’m not making it easy for you and Tony, am I?” 

“No, I don’t mean that, but-” She looked up at the lab for a moment, “Tony told me you were around the Tower for a touristic tour and I thought he was joking.” She smiled, still a bit confuse. 

Steve blushed a bit, but he was sure that a tour of the Stark Tower would be the less embarrassing thing he would have had need to do in the near future. “Just trying to get used to- to all this. Still trying.” 

“I know… I mean, I understand. The first time I saw Tony’s lab was like step years into the future-” she closed her eyes for a moment, regretting her words instantly, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, that was… that was just a horrible and- and sad joke. And not intentional.” 

“It wasn’t too bad.” Steve smiled patiently. Pepper Potts was so honest sometimes, and so caring about Tony and his work, maybe more than the man himself was. Tony was lucky to have her on his side. “It’s true, after all. This is probably the best place to learn something useful. Hope you and Tony don’t mind.” 

“I don’t, and I’m sure he doesn’t either.” She smiled a bit, “I think he’s just trying to get used to your presence.”

_He better do that… sooner the better_ , Steve thought. “I know… it wasn’t planned. Did he said something?” 

“No, don’t worry. It won’t be a problem having you here.” Pepper said calmly, but there was also a hint of decision in her eyes, as if she was ready to teach everyone to get used to him, one way or another. “And if you have some question, you can ask JARVIS. Or me, but I usually just pass by to slap Tony with some documents… or you can ask to him as well, I’m sure he will be happy to help.” 

“I hope so."

Pepper smiled again, “Enjoy your stay, then, and… well, try to tolerate Tony. See you next time?”

“Sure. Thanks for your help.”

“Don’t mention it.” She said and walked to the elevator that took her away.

Steve breathed deeply and looked at the clock: kind of late for lunch, but he was actually hungry. Looking at the kitchen, he thought that he should be starving by now, because last time he remembered to have eaten, was almost four days before. Probably Christopher and his friends cared enough about his wellbeing to keep him hydrated and in health. He shivered again. 

Lab rat. Just a poor, little rat in a glass box for everyone to watch…

“Can I help you, Captain?” Asked JARVIS, making him jump a little, “Mister Stark don’t tend to refill the kitchen very often. It’s not very used for guests.”

“No, I… I know. It’s ok.” Steve was staring in the half-empty fridge of the kitchen. Poor JARVIS was probably feeling sorry the food inconvenience. 

“If I may suggest you, I can order almost everything for you and receive it here at the Tower.” Informed the AI.

“Really?”

“Of course. I would recommend an Italian restaurant not far from here.” 

Steve huffed a smile, relieved after all. “Sure. Italian would be nice…” he closed the fridge, “And I think I have another idea…” 

.-

Tony was staring at the screen with a nervous glare, arms crossed on his chest and the t-shirt dirty like the old trousers. He then frowned, sniffing the air, “JARVIS?” 

“Sir?” 

“The Tower is burning down?”

“No, I think that’s my fault.” Steve saw the other jump a bit and turned to him. He stopped in the doorway, pointing downstairs. “Hungry?” 

Tony blinked twice, “What?” 

“I was hungry and JARIVS suggested Italian food. Want some?” and oh God, Steve never felt so fake and stupid in all his life. He couldn’t do it, lying wasn’t in his DNA. Probably the only thing the serum couldn’t change.

“Italian, uh?” Tony waved a hand over the screen that slid away, disappearing. “Can’t say no to that. It’s from Teddi’s, right?”

“Yeah. JARVIS said you know it.” 

“I know where to spend my money, thank you.” Said Tony, reaching the kitchen with him, “But I thought you were too busy walking around, searching for souvenirs...” 

“Sadly, I need to eat too.” Steve started to put all the boxes of food from the bag to the table, “And you as well. You don’t even have breakfast.” 

“Oh, so you spy on me now?” 

“Aside that you would deserve it, no, I don’t, but I was here this morning and I haven’t seen you eat anything.” 

“Maybe I have hidden food around my lab.” 

“If there was, your lab would be a mess of chips and hamburgers.” 

“Touché.” Tony huffed a laugh, placing two glasses and a bottle of water on the table, starting to eat. 

Steve sat down, enjoying the Italian food, thankful that JARVIS told him about it. He needed to start trying to stay around Tony without looking suspicious… or start fighting after two minutes. He looked up for a moment and stared at the reactor again. That light was almost hypnotic.

“What were you searching this morning?” 

Steve blinked, looking at him, “What?” 

“It wasn’t really a touristic tour, was it?”

“Why not?”

“Because its-” Tony dropped his shoulder, swallowing a meatball, “You’re serious?” 

“Don’t go all overconfident now, but there are few things in this place from which I might learn something.” Steve said slowly and saw him just stare with the water cup halfway to his mouth, “I mean, SHIELD helped me with the basics after I woke up, and I know Google is kind of the JARVIS for the rest of the world…” 

“Woah, there. You’re hurting his feelings.” 

“I take it as a compliment.” Answer the AI itself. 

“It was. Google was very helpful, but- I can’t just go into the SHIELD HQ looking around. Fury was- let’s say he was pretty clear about that. And I understand that, is work after all…” Steve shrugged, “I don’t know. You said this will become the Avenger Tower, so I thought that I could… take a look around?” Strange thing was that he was honest about this: he knew he was free to go in and out SHIELD whenever he wanted, but he knew as well that many things were still hidden from him. He knew it, but with his rehabilitation first, and then the war…

Pretend that there’s was nothing to be worried about wasn’t something he liked to do, but having faith that it was nothing bad helped to live with some doubt. For now. 

Tony looked at him for a long moment and then clear his throat, “You can do that. It’s not a problem. Weird maybe, but not a problem. Fury sure can’t hide anything in here.”

_No, he can’t… but apparently someone else can_. Steve tried to stay focus on the discussion, “Thanks.” 

Tony just nodded, eating another meatball, “Well, I- I need to finish my work. Enjoy the rest of the Italian for me.” And he walked away with the glass of water.

Steve hadn’t the time to say anything else, watching him disappear in the lab again. He sighed, looking down at the dish of spaghetti, thinking that it was ok, he have said something true all considered. He was actually trying to get closer to Tony, to understand him… but that surprised, quite relieved expression on Tony’s face just a moment ago, almost made him throw all the food away from the table. 

.-

After the late launch, Steve followed Tony in the lab, asking if he could use a computer, but the inventor just waved a hand at the multiple laptops scattered around saying, “Pick one and have fun.” Without looking away from the screen he was focus on. 

Steve smiled his thanks and took one before leaving, sitting on the couch again. Relieved that the laptop wasn’t too much different from the computers he had been using lately, he managed to check his emails and the situation of the city: most of the buildings were still evacuated, some should have been destroyed and rebuild from zero… it sure would take some time before go back to normality. Despite everything, he knew that New York was a strong city, and soon it would go back to its routine. With a new concept of the Universe, of course, but most of the people would just start to deal with it and keep on with their lives. They had to.

At dinnertime, Steve was still working on the laptop when Clint called, telling him that Fury was curious to know where he was hiding. 

“I don’t really care to tell him, but know if you’re a man on the run would be nice.” Said the spy. 

“I’m not. I just need some time away from there.” 

“And with _there_ , you mean SHIELD or Fury’s eyes specifically?” 

“Let’s say both. They keep me under control like-” _an animal gone wild_ , “like I’m an enemy.” 

Clint stayed silent. 

“I did what I had to. We fought and we won. There’s no other emergency at the moment, right?” 

“Not now, no. Everything’s fine. Fine as a city after a war can be.” 

“That’s good to know.” 

“Yeah…” Clint was clearly still thinking about something else, “Yeah, sure is… I guess SHIELD just thought that you’d stayed around to scare all the recruits barking orders. Polite orders, of course.” 

Steve huffed a laugh, “If they need training, Fury is good enough for that.” 

“You sure you’re ok?” 

“Yes.” 

“Tony’s still alive?” 

“Yes, he is.” Steve said patiently.

“Ok then… well, I’ll let you know if something happen. Isn’t it nice to have a phone again?” 

“Fury or a phone… freedom is really not an option anymore.” 

“Oh, shut up. It’s a Stark phone, right?”

“Yeah, Tony gave it to me… actually, he almost throw it at me, when I told him I’d lost the other one.” 

“Then it’s fine. He is obsessed with the security thing, so that phone is probably safe.” 

“I guess.” Steve nodded, then a thought hit him: if that phone was safe, maybe he could talk about what was happening. Maybe he could… 

“Ok then, see you around-“ 

“Clint wait.” 

“Yeah?”

Steve kept staring outside the window, unsure about risking everything now or not. Those bombs were still there, the images of innocent people in danger… what rule he was going to break? Talking about the plan? Being spotted? How many lives would’ve been in danger…?

“Steve?” 

He tightened the grip on the phone and heard a light crack from it that took him back to the present, “Nothing. I think I forgot what I wanted to ask you.”

“Don’t you hate when it happens?” 

“A lot. Bye.” Steve ended the call and put the phone against his forehead, closing his eyes: he had to be sure. He had to be sure that it was safe to talk about what was happening, but how? He knew nothing about technology; every time he had a problem about that, he asked to Tony… sadly, Tony was the only person he couldn’t ask about security and privacy on personal phones at the moment. The Stark-sense was way too sensible on these things.

He was lucky enough that Tony wasn’t actually suspicious about him yet, or by now he would’ve been already kicked out from the Tower. 

_"That means that he trust you enough.”_

Steve opened his eyes, hearing another crack on the phone, over Christopher’s words echoing into his mind...

_“And I am sure you’ll be able to use that in your advantage.”_

He threw the phone on the couch, somehow managing not to smash it against the wall. Taking a deep breath, Steve tried to calm down. In a normal day, he would've been glad to know That Tony trusted him. In any other situation, he really would’ve been. Any situation but this one.

.-

Steve spent the rest of the day doing more research, eating just a sandwich in the meanwhile. It was almost midnight when he finally closed the laptop.

He stretched and passed both hands on his face, looking down at his clothes, noticing that was probably time to have some of his belonging back with him if he was really going to stay there. How collect them could become kind of a problem, though.

Steve stood up and looked at the lab, with just few lights still on. He frowned and climbed the stairs until he stepped inside: the big room was quite, with only a light humming from a pc. Tony was sitting at the desk, head on the arms crossed on the metal surface, sleeping. 

Steve sighed, stepping closer to him, “Tony?” no answer, “Tony, you shouldn’t sleep here.” He said with low voice, trying to stay awake himself. When the inventor don’t even flinch, he looked around, “JARVIS?” 

“Yes, Captain?” even the AI was talking slow and quietly. 

“Tony usually fall asleep in the lab?” 

“Very often, yes.” 

Steve sighed, watching him with tired eyes, “He will kill me if I wake him?” 

“Mr. Stark fell asleep thirty minutes ago. I would recommend to let him sleep until he wakes up on his own. It will be soon.”

“How much soon?” 

“Sometimes, not more than four hours.” 

“He doesn’t sleep very much, uh?” 

“Mister Stark like to say that, and I quote: Sleep is overrated.” 

“Of course…” Steve yawned, still sleepy, and looked at the couch close by. “Come on, I’m not going to let you sleep on a table.” He said and moved to help him stand, keeping his arm on the shoulders to leave the chair.

“Mhh not the salad…” murmured Tony, head lolling down.

“No, no salad.” Steve repeated, helping him lay down on the sofa: Tony murmured something else and then turned to face the back of the couch. Steve sighed and looked around, spotting a black jacket, probably Tony’s. He grabbed it and let it fall on the sleepy inventor. 

Steve took a breath and turned to leave, but he couln’t stop himself from look around in the lab: some screen was still on, same for some little Iron Man’s virtual prototype slowly spinning and floating over the table, then spotted something similar to a virtual imagine of the reactor. Steve sat on the other side of the table, staring at it, looking at Tony’s back for a moment, then at the imagine again and sighed, laying his head on his arms crossed on the table and, like the inventor a moment before, he fell asleep at the desk with the holographic reactor shining lightly over him.

And in what seemed like just a second, he jumped awake because of another nightmare. 

Breathing fast and confuse for a moment, Steve looked quickly around himself: a weak light was coming from the window behind him, in the living room, and the reactor still spinning in front of him almost made him jump again. Steve stared at it, trying to calm himself, but when he turned around, he froze.

Tony was sitting on the couch, awake, the jacket over the crossed legs and a Stark Pad in hand, from which he raised his eyes and the cold, serious look was quite worrying. “’Guess I had a guest during the night.”

“I… I saw you sleeping at the desk and… I thought that-“ 

“You thought that I needed to be put in bed like a good kid?” 

Steve’s mind was still only halfway there, and catch up with Tony’s mind, awake and at full speed, wasn’t an easy task. “I thought that it wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, so I helped you to the couch.” 

“That’s what I saw from the videos.” Tony left the Pad next to him and crossed his arms, “And I usually don’t say this, but it was kind of creepy.” 

Steve raised an arm, just to let it fall again on the table with a sigh, “I just tried to help… sorry if it was so creepy for you.” 

“It’ll be, if you start to come in my lab in the middle of the night and drag me around.” 

Steve looked at him tiredly, “I just helped you to the couch.”

“Well, I don’t appreciate it.” Tony kept looking at him with a serious glare, then he shook his head, “What’s your problem? Just tell me.” 

“What problem?”

“Clearly there’s something wrong here and I’d like to know what it is.” Said Tony, standing up. 

Steve tried to stay calm, “Nothing’s wrong. I just-“ 

“You didn’t left the Tower and slept here for two days.” Tony ignored him, coming closer and closer, “The politeness, the friendly talk with me and also with Pep… I need to arrange something for you two?”

Steve stood up as well, feeling the point of the discussion moving to the wrong direction, “What? No, ‘course not-“ 

“And the food, the feeling safe here, the nanny ready to put me to sleep… you’re wearing a Stark t-shirt, for God’s sake Rogers, what **the hell** is going on here?” 

Steve backed against the table, falling sat on the chair again with Tony hovering over him, standing a few centimeters away, like a demon ready to eat the poor soldier’s soul. “I…” he stared into the cold and impassible eyes of the other that was looking at him from above, and Steve almost screamed everything out, everything about Christopher, the device over his heart, the stupid plan to steal the reactor from him… and how easy it would be now, with the Element shining right on his face… 

“I swear, if you start with some other bullshit-“ 

“I really wanted to stay here.” Said Steve after a second. Tony didn’t move. “I know it’s stupid and I should’ve ask you about it, I was going to, but it seemed a so stupid request... Pepper told me you work a lot here these days, but it wouldn’t be a problem for me to stay… and I know I should’ve left when you asked me to, but… I didn’t.” _I couldn’t. I can’t leave, please, don’t kick me out or I have no idea what will happen._

Tony was still towering over him, but then he blinked and there was a lot, lot of confusion on his face. “You want to live here?”

“Just for some time.” 

“In the Tower?”

“Yes.” 

“Why?”

“Well, it’s- it’s the closest thing to a home that I can think about at the moment.” Surprisingly, Steve felt a bit of truth in those words. SHIELD never felt like home… and the apartment was his house, yes, but still not home. He wondered if he would ever be able to call _home_ a place again. With the Avenger Tower, was a bit easier.

Tony was still staring at him, and it was almost possible to hear his brain trying to give some sense at what was happening.

Steve swallowed down the tension, “But if you want me to leave...” 

“No, I don’t- you can stay if you want, but…” Tony took a deep breath and sat on the chair close by, “Why you just didn’t told me?”

“I wasn’t sure about it-” 

“I’m making apartments for all of you downstairs; they’re not ready yet, but I have few rooms too in this floor. You can use that instead of the couch. You just had to ask.”

Steve looked at him, surprised, “Really? For all of us?” 

“It’s a pretty big Tower, if you haven’t noticed it, and it will be the Avenger Tower in some months. Of course the team will have a place to stay in here.” Snorted Tony, passing a hand over his face.

Steve had seen the lower floors closed, with men still at work, but he was sure that was just for more offices or else about the Stark Industries. 

“You were driving me crazy... ugh, I need a coffee.” Tony shook his head, going downstairs.

“I was?” Steve said with irony, following him.

“All that kindness, the good vibes… I was starting to think you wanted to kill me or something.” 

Steve stopped for a second on the stairs, trying not to think about that. “Kill you? I shared food with you...” 

"It could be poisoned." 

The soldier sighed, "And clearly it wasn't."

“Oh, so there was another secret meaning? For some people, sharing food is like a declaration of love, you know?” Tony took two cups from the kitchen and put them on the table. 

“And you’re one of them?” Commented Steve with a sarcastic, patience smile.

“I’m not. I think. Well, it depends.” 

Steve sat down at the table with a light smile, feeling safe enough to breathe normally again, “So… it’s ok for me to stay?” 

“Sure. Rooms are at the end of the corridor, choose the one you like and leave the poor couch alone.” 

“Alright… thanks.” 

Tony nodded, taking his cup before go away.

Steve let out a breath of relief and looked down at his own cup: there was steaming coffee inside this time. He smiled a bit, then took his phone and made a call, “Hey- no, he’s still alive. Yes… no, I- I need to ask you a favor.” 

.-

“Cap, what the hell?” was the greetings Clint used arriving in the living room of the Stark Tower that same, late morning.

Steve turned from the documents he was reading and tried to hide a smile: the poor archer had two big bags in hands, plus Captain America’s shield on the back. “’Morning.”

“’Morning? Its- can you explain to me what the hell is happening?” Said Clint, walking, or more like limping to him. 

“It’s a bit complicated…” 

“I’m doing the damn servant here, make an effort.” 

Steve took a bag from him, “I’ll stay here for some days.” 

“Here?” 

“Yeah.”

“Here like- here at the Tower?” Clint asked again, following him in the corridor and then in a large room illuminated from a big window on the right. “I thought you needed your things before start another journey or something.”

“A journey?” Steve frowned, leaving the bag on the bed.

“I don’t know. Maybe you wanted to go search for other friends of yours.” Clint did the same with the other one.

“No, I just need some time in a place where SHIELD can’t enter. Physically or not.” 

Clint stared at him with a serious face, “They know you’re here?” 

“Probably. I know they kind of have to spy on me, it wasn’t a problem after I woke up, but…” Steve shrugged, “I like to have my privacy back. For a bit, at least.”

“Well, you have Tony spying on you now, don’t know if that’s better or worse.” 

“Was actually better so far- not that he is spying on me. I am sure the private rooms are…safe. Anyway, we talked a few times and this morning I asked him if I could stay.” 

“And he said yes?” 

“Yeah. You knew he’s doing a floor downstairs for all of us?”

“Yeah. He said that during the party you missed, to convince Bruce to stay as well.” Clint gave him a grin, “He wants everyone to live here… I should come too when the place will be ready.” 

“Will come in handy in case of immediate action.” Commented Steve, checking some clothes in the bag.

Clint looked at him for a moment, and then took something from the pocket of his jeans, “Here. I don’t even have to enter through the window.” He said, handing a little key, “We’re in future now, in a big city. Please, don’t put the keys under the doormat.” 

“Noted.” Smiled the other, taking the key with no idea of what to do with it. Or when and if he would’ve been able to use it again.

“You weren’t very specific, so I just took everything that looked useful.” 

“That’s fine. I’ll take the rest by myself.” Said Steve. As if he could leave the tower whenever he pleased.

Clint nodded and took off the shield from the back, giving it to him. 

Steve took it and flipped it few times, smiling at the spy, “It felt nice, uh?” 

“I would lie saying that it doesn’t.” Sighed Clint, “The suit it’s in the bag too. I think Tony should have another one around here… not sure though.” 

“Why he should…?” 

“He made half of our equipment. Not only weapons, you know?”

Steve stared at the shield until a loud siren suddenly echoed in the entire floor three times before stop. 

“Ouch, my poor ears… what the hell was that?”

“Somethings happening.” Said Steve.

“And probably a bad something. Just guessing.” Sighed Clint, following him back to the living room. 

Tony was coming downstairs as well, “Seems that another super human is running around the city. Clint, why you’re here?” he asked, with a screwdriver in one hand.

“Because I missed you.”

“You mean someone with super powers?” Asked Steve. 

“Yep. Fury asked to be ready, just in case.” He answer, then pointing the screwdriver at the spy, “Liar.” He said and Clint just nodded with a resigned “I am”.

Steve was looking outside, then back at him, “Fury don’t want us to go?”

“Not for now. He said SHIELD got this…” they stared at each other and Tony nodded, “Yeah, I know. They rarely _got things_ , that’s why I’ll go to see how’s the situation myself. I’ll call you if we need help.” And walked outside, in the balcony.

“I’ll go too. See you there.” Said Clint, reaching the elevator.

“Join us, Captain?” Said Tony stopping on the round base from which the parts of the armor started to come out and assembling on his body.

“I guess. Where?”

“Close to Central Park. Use the com- it’s in lab. I fixed it.”

Steve nodded, turning to run inside and suddenly he remembered. “Tony, wait!” he looked back, but Iron Man was flying in the sky already, and his heart rate started to fly as well.

“Just need to follow him. Ok...” Steve ran back to his room, changing at the speed of light, grabbing the shield and when he started to go upstairs to get the com, his vision started to blur, “Oh c’mon…” he stopped, slowly feeling out of breath, wondering how far Tony could be right now.

“Captain, is something wrong?” Asked JARVIS. 

“No… no, it’s fine.” Steve forced himself to stand. He couldn’t faint there, with probably more than one camera on him, and with JARVIS ready to scan him, discovering that something weird was happening. He grabbed hard the handrail and just gave up on taking the com, moving to the elevator instead, but his vision was getting worse and the pain in his chest was starting to rise. “JARVIS… there’s a way to reach Tony faster than running?”

“A private helicopter can be used, Captain. If you feel in the condition to pilot.” 

Steve sighed at the impassible voice of the AI. So close to check on him… JARVIS was so close to do it…

“Captain-” JARVIS suddenly stopped when all the lights went off; was almost possible to feel the energy disappear in the entire floor: a blackout.

“Damn it…” Steve grasped the wall, still trying to reach the elevator, even if impossible to use, same thing for the helicopter. Was too risky try to fly in his actual conditions, but running all over the city trying to catch up with a flying Iron Man wouldn’t help either.

He was going to fail… and innocent people would pay for it. 

Steve reached the doors of the elevator and fall on the ground, feeling his body being hit by waves of pain everywhere, able to hear only his own heart racing in his chest in a blurry world… in which the elevator’s door were forced opened and someone crawl out of the cabin, halfway there.

“Captain?” Bruce Banner dropped the backpack and kneeled next to him, “Steve? Can you hear me?” he said, grabbing him by the shoulders.

“Bruce…” 

“Yes, it’s me. Steve, what- someone attacked the Tower?” 

“No… ugh…” Steve closed his eyes shut in another sudden flash of pain. _Damn Tony, where the hell are you?_

“Ok… ok, I’ll- I think there should be something in the lab... Hold on, be right back.”

Steve heard him run upstairs and then down again, “What’s that?” he saw something in the hand of the doctor.

“Just something to help you to breathe. Let me check-” he moved to hear his heart but the Captain grabbed his arm.

“No, I’m- I’m fine.” 

“Steve, you’re clearly not fine.” 

“I- I just need a moment to-“ Steve curled down even more in another painful wave and after that was blind pain for a moment.

“ve! Steve!” Bruce was shaking him again, still with the syringe in hand, clearly unsure of what to do. He rarely forced his medical support on anyone. Not even when he knew he should’ve.

Steve kept his eyes closed, without knowing what to do himself, but because of a different reason: he had to say something about Christopher and his plan. He needed help, he couldn’t do it alone and if he was going to die, someone had to know what was happening and save the city from the bombs. “Bruce… someone is-” and then he stopped: the pain was lessening. 

“What? What’re saying?” Bruce was even more worried now. 

Slowly, Steve started to breathe normally again, coughing just some more before even his vision started to get better. “I… I think I’m fine.” He said after a moment, trying to sit on the floor, still breathing a bit fast.

“You’re not. You were not fine.” Said Bruce, eyes tense behind the glasses, “What happened?” 

Steve just shook his head, a hand over his face.

After a minute, Iron Man flew through the balcony’s door still open, right into the living room, looking around and then at the two men, descending on the ground, “Everything alright here? What happened to the Tower?”

“Don’t ask me, I just arrived.” Said Bruce and followed his gaze to the elevator’s doors, now broken, “Sorry about that… I don’t really like being stuck in small places.”

Tony just waved a hand at him, then the face plate slid open and he looked tiredly at the solider, “Cap, did you pressed something in the lab? We’re going to blow up?” 

“No… I don’t know what happened.” Steve saw Bruce trying to say something else, “The power went off all of sudden and I… I think I fell from the stairs.” 

Bruce looked seriously at him, but didn’t say anything.

“You what?” Asked Tony confused, and then the tower suddenly trembled like in an earthquake. “What now? JARVIS. Hey, J come on, wake up.” Tony used some control inside the armor and after a moment, the power was back, “JARVIS, situation?” 

“A blackout occurred in the top floor.” 

“We have that thing called emergency power for a reason, J.” 

“Apparently, it was impossible activate it from here. Apologies, Sir. A complete check of the Tower’s status has already started.” 

“Ok…weird and we’ll talk about this later, but ok. What was that, just now, anyway? An earthquake?” 

“No, Sir. It seems that a bank exploded, not far from here.”

Steve was grateful he hadn’t stood up yet, because he would probably fall down again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Cloud Atlas messed up my brain while betaing this chapter... that ending tho. Or should I say, those endings...

“…and we’re not sure if the two attacks were connected yet.” 

“C’mon, Clint. It’s pretty clear that they are.” 

“Not really.” 

“The explosion took place right after SHIELD put the super, crazy guy in a cage. He was probably just a distraction for his friends at the bank.” 

“Tony, you were there. You saw that he was fighting us for different reasons.” 

“Yeah, just as he planned. You should be the expert spy in this kind of things, you know?” 

“ _I am_ , and I’m telling you: something’s not right.” 

Steve was staring in silence at the phone placed on the table, from where Clint’s voice was coming.  
He stayed silent after the news about the explosion, and was for the better because he was too nervous and angry to say something without sounding ready to kill someone. 

“Still nothing from the bank?” asked Bruce, “Something was stolen?” 

“Fury sent few men in there, with the police. I’ll join them in a bit and keep you updated.” Said Clint, “For now, the only thing we know is that the bomb was probably on the first or second floor.” 

“To hit more people.” Tony said in a low voice. 

A sigh, “We’ll catch up later, ok?” And with that, Clint closed the call. 

“What a time to be back.” Said Bruce, putting his glasses on the table of the kitchen. 

“You’re timing was really impressive.” Commented Tony, still thinking about what happened, then shook himself out of it and looked at the doctor, “Why you’re back, by the way?” 

“If you ask so nicely…” huffed Bruce and the other smiled, shrugging, “I wanted to check the situation here, if SHIELD- if you guys needed me… and if the offer to stay here was still open.” 

Tony smiled, a genuine smile this time, “Sure is. The apartments are still work in progress, but there’s some spare room here. I already have a guest… you can join the party.” 

“In some day, I think I will. You changed your mind, then?” Bruce asked to the soldier, but he was still staring at the phone. “Steve?” 

Tony looked at him as well, then bent forward on the table, snapping two fingers over his face, making him blink and straighten his back, “Still with us, Rogers?” 

“Yeah… What were you saying?” asked Steve, trying to focus, but Tony pointed a finger at Bruce and he turned to face him instead. 

“I was saying that I am surprised that you actually decided to stay here.” Said Bruce, voice calm, but his eyes were still studying him.

“I know… it wasn’t planned. I just need some time away from SHIELD’s eyes.” 

Bruce nodded slowly, “I know...” 

Tony looked at both of them, and then turned to grab three glasses, “If you guys had told me sooner that the Tower needed to quickly be changed into a hotel, I would have put your rooms in the first place on the working plan.” 

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” Steve said. 

“I still need some day, anyway.” Nodded Bruce. “Fury didn’t asked you about us?” 

“I’m sure he knows that Steve is here. Not sure about you, but yeah, Steve is probably a big, shiny star on the world’s map at SHIELD.” 

“And there’s no way to change that?” 

Both Bruce and Tony looked at the soldier. 

Steve noticed too late that maybe his voice betrayed a _slight_ unhappiness about being that shiny star. Pun intended or not. “I just thought that after the battle…” he sighed, shaking his head, “Never mind. I’ll ask them about it myself next time.” He wondered if that shiny star had also helped Christopher to find him. 

“I can do it.” Said Tony, meeting his eyes again, “I’m not completely sure, but I can try to make you less… _visible_ , at SHIELD’s eyes.” 

“Really?” They asked. 

“Guys, seriously? You forget who you’re talking to.” Huffed Tony, passing a glass to each of them, taking a sip from the one he kept for himself. 

Steve stared at him for a moment, “You can delete everything you want?” 

“Well, not everything, but I can mess around into those files. I like to mess around.” 

“You don’t say…” commented Bruce, patiently taking a sip as well. 

“Hey, I’m trying to defend the privacy of the Captain, here. It’s a noble messing around.” Said Tony, looking at him again, “You just need to say the word.” He added, raising the glass before emptied it. 

Steve nodded slowly. Tony could do it because he was an expert, technology and data were his playground, but what if it was Christopher’s too? What if he and his friends were able to read and use those file as well? They must have someone inside, or it would’ve be impossible for them to know the exact moment to blew up the bank... but how could they known the exact moment he almost said the truth to Bruce? Even spying on him from inside the tower, he barely thought about confess everything…

“Can you see what data they have about me?” Steve finally asked, “Without destroying them yet. I would like to know what’s in there.” 

Tony was staring into his blue eyes with the same seriousness. “Sure. I’ll see what I can do.” He nodded with a little smile of satisfaction. 

“You better watch out, Steve. You’re freeing a dangerous beast. Not a green one, but always some kind of beast.” Said Bruce. 

“Oh, the doctor is becoming ironic! Aren’t you? I want that one written on a sticker in my lab. JARVIS, now. Do it.” 

“Working on it, Sir.” 

“Are you serious…?” asked Bruce, shaking his head. 

Steve listened to them in silence, then a message drilled on the phone and Tony checked on it, and he saw the inventor’s face lose all the excitement. “What?” 

“Clint say to look at the news on tv.” Tony moved to the TV and grabbed the remote, quickly switching to the news channel: they could see the bank half-destroyed, still smoking; the firefighters and ambulances around the place and injured people sitting in the corners of the street. The TV was saying that there were at least twenty injured civilians and nine deaths for now, but some people were still missing. Apparently nothing was stolen. 

Tony and Bruce keep listening to the news, a serious look on both of them. 

Steve tightened the grip on the table, feeling every death and every injured person on himself. In the end, he had failed to keep those people safe. He couldn’t just believe Christopher, no, he needed to prove himself smarter than them and let those people get killed. What a Captain he was.

He silently looked at the reactor shining under Tony’s shirt... And felt ashamed doing so. 

 

Steve spent the rest of the day in the gym, punching and destroying a punching bag after another, glad that at least the gym was close enough to Tony, still working upstairs with Bruce. 

Thinking about it just made him even angrier. He stopped only when the last punch sent the punching bag on the other side of the room. Only then, breathing hard, he saw Bruce sitting on the bench close to the entrance. “Dr. Banner.” 

“Back to _Doctor Banner now_?” Said the doctor, cleaning his glasses. 

Steve shook his head, “Old habit. Sorry Bruce.” 

Bruce stood up, arms crossed, “You know why I’m here, right?” 

“Still worried about me?” 

“I was.” Bruce stopped some steps away, studying him, “But it seems was for nothing.” 

“I told you, I just fell. Probably I got an electric shock from something in the lab while leaving. It’s all metal and wires up there, and with that blackout...” 

“It turned JARVIS off, so… it sure was something.” Bruce nodded slowly, then looked at him genuinely worried, “You sure you’re ok?” 

“Yeah. Just confused as you are about those attacks in the city.” 

“You looked quite shaken from the explosion at the bank.” 

“I was. I am. I wasn’t expecting something like that. I was sure the worst ended when we won the war…”

Bruce raised his eyebrows in irony, “Do you?” 

“A man can hope.” Steve laughed slightly, “I guess we’ll just need to be ready for everything from now on, bombs or… special people, like Tony call them.”

Bruce nodded slowly, “Ok. Well, I… I’ll be away for some days, to grab everything I need to stay here, so… I came to say goodbye for now. And to be sure you were alright.” 

“I am, and Tony will be happy to have you here.” Tony was already happy about it like a child in the Christmas morning; Steve couldn’t feel the same way, because one thing was try to fool Tony, but try to fool Bruce Banner was a complete different thing and he wasn’t sure he would make it. 

“I hope so. See you in some days then. Take care.” 

“You too.” Steve watched the doctor left the gym and finally freed a sigh of relief.  
He started to assemble his belongings before walk upstairs, but once in front of the elevator, he received a message on his phone that made him stop at the open doors: the text said only _14th Floor_. 

Steve just stared at it, confused for a moment, then he blinked and put the phone away, moving to the stairs. _It can’t be…_

Like the first time, Steve started to feel dizzy at the fourteenth floor, but not as bad, so maybe Tony wasn’t on the top floor anymore. 

He turned at the last ramp of stairs and stopped at the top of it: Christopher was standing in front of the big window, looking outside.

“Good to see you, Captain.” Said the man, in his long dark jacket, turning around. “You made us all worry for a moment, you know?” 

Steve didn’t even notice descending the stairs, but in a moment he was there, grabbing Christopher jacket and slamming him against the wall, “People got killed in that explosion! Innocent people that you killed like they were nothing!” 

“And who is to blame for those lives?” Christopher said back, without much interest, “I warned you, we are not playing around, but you tried to talk with your friends anyway. You should be glad we didn’t let the other bombs detonate as well.” 

“I wasn’t-!” 

Christopher grabbed his wrists with a hand, “We know what happens in this tower, Captain. I have explained to you that would be better not try to do the smart soldier this time. You should’ve listen to me.” 

“If that’s true, you should’ve known that I didn’t say anything!”

“But you almost did. We just thought that it was the right moment to show you the proofs that you wanted so much.” Christopher looked outside for a moment and the second after Steve felt a sudden pain in the chest that forced him to let the other go and step back, trying to balance himself on the banister. 

Christopher straightened his jacket and looked at the soldier with pity, “It took us long time to make this plan work, Captain Rogers. It’s so difficult to think that you are not the only person capable to come up with a good strategy?” 

“As if I would ever thought of something like this.” Said Steve, hand over his heart, standing up again. 

Christopher sighed, “You saw an opportunity and you took it. I understand, I can’t blame you for trying, but my patience have a limit and you are enjoying trying to cross it too much. The first bomb was just to put you in place, because you can’t be the hero this time. You try to be the hero of the people again, and those people will die. You can understand that a bit better now?” 

Steve looked away from those cold and dark eyes. How Christopher could be there? How did he entered the Tower so easily?

“I know its not an easy mission. I know that Stark is not stupid… and yes, we know about the questions he asked you the other day. You played well, though, so, as you can see, you can actually do it.” 

_So they can really spy inside the Tower_ . “It’s not the same thing.” Steve said.

“It is. You know very well by now how Stark is fond about you. You are the hero he heard about for so many years, after all…” 

“That doesn’t mean-” 

“It means that he will drop his defenses with you, Captain.” Christopher took a step closer, smiling that fake innocent smile of him, “He wants to be your friend, he likes to have you around and that is something you can use to accomplish my request. It could become even easier pretending to… how can I say… pretending to have some other kind of interest about him? He would probably give you the Element himself-“ 

That was it: Steve saw red and in another quick movement, his fist connected with Christopher’s jaw, sending him to smash against the wall again. “If you really think that I’ll-” Steve fell on one knee, the pain in the chest doubled this time. He grasped the fabric of the shirt, hissing in pain. 

Christopher looked outside and raised a hand, shaking his head in no. He then turned against the soldier, massaging the pained jaw, “That wasn’t very nice of me. I apologize.” He said, standing up, “But I thought you needed some help. And Mr. Stark is so easy to manipulate…” he sighed sadly, like in front of an opportunity that was going to be wasted.

Steve felt the anger again, but didn’t move, looking at the floor, “He’s not.” 

“You would be surprised.” Christopher sat on the stairs, next to him, “He trusted the wrong people in the past, that’s what created most of his defenses, but is still so easy to find a crack in them, Captain… he would like to trust everyone, isn’t it?” 

Steve stayed silent. How these people could know Tony so well? How could they know this kind of things? How could they have so much power and control over him, over Tony and the tower itself? 

Where was JARVIS and all those stupid, useless cameras when he needed them? 

Christopher, of course, saw him looking at the ceiling, “No cameras here, no. Apparently, they forgot to put some of them here and there. Too bad, uh?” he took a deep breath and then said, “I think the plan will work better from now on. I am sure you will find a way to make it work, and I am sure you will not try to do anything else stupid. We all trust you, Captain, just… don’t make us wait too long. Time’s ticking.” That said, he stood up and disappeared downstairs. 

Steve felt the pain in his heart finally start to lessen, just for another kind of pain to take its place.  
Was already horrible lie to Tony like this; he was already kind of pretending interest in him and his desire to see all the Avengers living there, but pretending more… faking feelings for him just because he could do it…

He couldn’t do it. That was something that would probably kill Tony in the inside, and if someone had to be hurt through all this madness, or even die because of it, that person was Steve. No one else. 

Steve squeezed his eyes shut for a long moment, trying to control the need to punch something, or feeling sick right there on the stairs. 

 

That evening, Steve had dinner alone in the kitchen, staring into the plate until was empty and then just refusing to talk or see anyone for the rest of the night. 

He sat in the balcony outside, watching the city’s lights under the rain that was starting to fall, trying to breathe slow, trying to relax his fists, but it wasn’t easy to keep his cool. He was on the edge too much, nervous and angry. When that happens, usually he just needed to punch something in the gym, but this time was different. Steve knew that the punching bag wasn’t enough and knowing that just made him more tense. 

He closed his eyes, focusing on the sound of the rain hitting the roof over his head, but JARVIS decided to distract him from that. 

“Captain Rogers, Mr. Stark required your presence in the laboratory.” 

Steve sighed deeply, “Why?” 

“He may have found something that could interest you.” 

First thing Steve thought about, was that Tony, amazing genius that he was, saw Christopher in some cameras, done some research on him and discovered he was a mad man in a also mad company and they had to find him and kill him, slowly and painfully… but he knew better that he wasn’t that lucky. 

“Hey, there you are.” Said Tony looking away from the holographic screen in the center of the lab: he was wearing a gray shirt half open on the chest over the elegant trousers, hands on his pockets. He probably had to see someone that day, not being in t-shirt as usual. 

“You called for me.” Steve took just two steps in the lab. Was already difficult to stay close to Tony, but Christopher’s words just managed to keep him even more far away from him, avoiding giving him the wrong idea of being… _something_ . Maybe better not even friends, at this point.  
Even if Steve wanted to. 

Tony frowned a bit, “You ok?” 

Steve nodded, but he kept staring, “Just tired.” He added. 

“Bruce told me you got the swing in the gym. Need some other punching bag?” 

Steve blushed a bit, “It’s useless using them if I have to contain myself, but I’ll try.” 

“Hey, no no, I didn’t mean that. You can destroy all the punching bags you want, but maybe I can solve the problem with something… something more difficult to send through the space with a punch.” 

“You mean you want to create something? A different punching bag?” 

Tony scoffed, “I’ve created an armor in a cave. How difficult can be to adapt a punching bag to Captain America’s strength? Worth to try some experiment… I like experiments.” And with a gesture of the hand, he changed the screen to another page. 

Steve had read some file about Tony’s kidnapping and what happened in Afghanistan, but almost all the people he talked about it said to not point that out with Tony himself, so he was surprised to hear him talk about the cave… but he felt also like he just made a step closer to him.  
Despite trying not to. Despite he wanted to stay as far away as he could.

 _Damn it_ . He just nodded and didn’t move. 

“Anyway, I’ve-” Tony looked at him again, waiting, “You want to come closer and see this? I don’t bite.” 

Steve took a breath and stepped closer, standing next to him. At least two steps away. 

Tony studied him for a moment, but the soldier’s eyes were glued on the screen with no intention of look somewhere else, “So… I’ve found something messing around in SHIELD’s stuff.” He said, pointing at the data on the screen, “It’s nothing big, nothing new honestly, this is mostly everything I was expecting to find…” 

“All my life written on a screen.” Steve nodded slowly, “That’s always a pleasure to see.” 

“You’re Captain America, you weren’t expecting a password that only you know to read all this, right?” 

“It would be nice.” Steve read quickly some of the data, “Howard himself gave them all the documents about me and project Rebirth, after all…” he saw Tony looking back at the screen with a serious glare, “I know he had to. Was his work and he was part of SHIELD from the beginning.” He added, “I’m sure he kept for himself what he could.” Reading of his past was always weird: the war, the fights, Red Skull, Bucky… Peggy. 

Now was like watching someone else’s life in a history book. 

“You’re sure you don’t want me to delete it?” Asked Tony, without looking at him, “Because I can. Or I can actually put a password that only you know.” 

Steve huffed a laugh, “Can you?” 

“SHIELD will probably unlock it... but it will keep them busy for a while. A lesson about privacy.” 

“That doesn’t sound too bad.” Said Steve, grinning at the idea. 

“I know, right?” 

Steve thought about it, “Mind if I check them first?” 

“Be my guest. Just wave on the screen to slide it forward and backwards. I’ll be downstairs… my blood need more coffee.” 

“This late?” 

“It’s never too late for a coffee, my dear Captain.” Said Tony leaving the lab. 

Steve watched him descend the stairs before concentrating on the data. 

 

And suddenly he was lost, back in the 40s again.

It seemed like hours since he started to read, but he couldn’t stop reading and remembering about his past life, what he had done, what he almost forgot and all the demons he fought. 

He had read most of the information at SHIELD, but what he was watching now, were like three times bigger and more detailed. Plus, there were documents and recap made it by Howard himself: scan of some old pages where he wrote about him, the serum, the machine and other works that Steve never saw before. It was nice reading about Howard’s life after the crash, knowing that he kept working as assiduously as he did in the past; that he also kept searching for him. Knowing that his friends’ life hadn’t stopped after his death, was almost comforting.

Same for Peggy. She continued to work with Howard for years; her career was perfect and Steve wasn’t surprised that she had been important in the creation of SHIELD. She get over everything that happened and lived her life and, from the files, it was a wonderful life. Even without- 

 

A hand rested on his shoulder. 

Steve blinked a couple of times and suddenly he was back in the future: the holographic screen was at the last page, with a picture of Peggy with her family in the U.K., and the laboratory at the top floor of the Stark Tower was quiet in a dim light. 

Steve breathed as if he stopped doing it for a long time and then turned to the hand still on his shoulder and Tony was staring at him, worried. 

“Still with me, Cap?” He asked, voice strangely low. 

Steve blinked again, “Yeah...” He looked at the screen again and the vision become distorted for a moment, or was just him losing his balance. 

“Ok, that was a stupid question... alright...” Tony grabbed him and helped him sit down on a chair. Once sat and safe, Tony kept studying him, “You sure you’re not going to faint? Because you don’t look that good.” He said but the soldier just shook his head, “Fine, ok… Fury will ask my head on a plate anyway.” He sighed.

“Give me a moment.” Managed to say Steve, “Just a moment.” He repeated and lowered the head in his hands, eyes closed, breathing deep and slow. 

“Ok…” 

Steve heard Tony walk away, and come back after a bit. 

“J, the Captain is still breathing?” 

“He is breathing regularly.” 

“Well, thanks the Gods…” 

Steve smiled a bit and lowered his arms on his knees, looking up, finding Tony sitting on the table next to him, in t-shirt and sweatpants now, and with a look that could easily being translated in 'Help, I think I broke Captain America' . “I’m fine, don’t worry.” 

“ _Don’t worry_ , he say.” Tony sighed passing a hand over his eyes, but his shoulders dropped a bit in relief, “Usually I don’t need to ask this, but can you explain to me what happened there?” 

“I was- I think I got too much into it…” he said, looking at the screen, “Into _that_.”

Tony looked between him and the screen, “Really? You mean- like virtual reality or something?” and watching him frown, he added, “Like you were in the past again? Almost physically?” 

“Kind of…? Was more like literally drown into the memories. I knew they were just memories, but…” 

“Close enough. Here.” Tony pushed a glass of water close to him and Steve drank it all in a second. “You were starting to make me worry.” 

“Why?” 

“Why? Steve, it’s-“ Tony looked at some screen in the lab, “It’s almost seven in the morning. You stood there, staring at the screen all night. I tried to call you, but you didn’t answer, so I thought you were just in focus mode or something. JARVIS said you were fine and breathing, so I let you be.” 

_All night?_ Steve looked at the screen again, “I stayed there, reading for-” 

“Almost eight hours.” 

“God…” 

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking watching you standing there like a ghost, waving at the screen. I thought I pushed you into some PTSD or something.” 

Steve took a deep breath, laying against the back of the chair, “No, I’m fine. I was just reading something that apparently SHIELD wanted to keep for itself.” He opened his eyes after a bit, looking at the ceiling. 

“You sure you’re not stuck there anymore?” 

He looked back at Tony and saw him still staring with a pensive glare: he really was worried. “Yeah… yeah, just need to-” he smiled a bit, “Need to make breakfast.” 

Tony nodded slowly, “JARVIS will take care of it. You take your time and bring your mind back in the present.” That said, he stood up and left. 

_Easier said than done_ . Steve sighed and looked at the screen once again before leave the lab as well. Going downstairs, he almost stopped halfway: the table in the kitchen was covered with tech stuff like the laboratory’s tables, even some piece of the Iron Man armor was abandoned on the ground. Steve stared at all that mess and then at Tony coming back from the corridor, “What happened here?”

“Uh?” Tony looked up from the phone, following his gaze, “I was working.” 

“Here?” 

“Yes.” 

“All night?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why did you bring everything downstairs when you have a lab bigger than my apartment just upstairs?” 

“Because you were upstairs. J, coffee coming?” 

“In three minutes, Sir.” 

“You could work there, I was just reading.” 

“You know what they say about people sleepwalking. Better not wake them up.” Tony looked at him again for a second, nodding, “Yes, I know, you were more like _sleepreading_ , but I wasn’t sure that wake you up with something exploding was the best thing to do.” He said sitting on one of the backless chair in the kitchen.

Steve looked at him in silence, asking himself if maybe Tony was right, or if he just wanted to be gentle for once.

Once? Tony was beyond the one time by now. That’s why he was feeling worst and worst each day. 

“I wasn’t sure to try to wake you up at all,” continued Tony, busy on the phone again, “or if was better call Bruce and ask him… so I just waited for you to reach the end of the files and try myself.” 

Steve nodded once. “Thanks. For the files.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“Breakfast is coming.” Warned JARVIS, “Along with Miss Potts.” 

“Every man for himself!” Tony jumped away from the chair so fast he almost scared the soldier, and ran upstairs. 

Steve watched him in confusion, then he looked at the elevator’s door opening, “Miss- Pepper. Good morning.” 

“Good morning Steve.” She smiled friendly, handing him a plastic bag, “Where’s Tony?” she asked with the same expression, but now the smile was more like an assassin’s smile. 

“Uh…” 

“Mister Stark is upstairs.” Said JARVIS.

“I appreciate your loyalty Steve, don’t worry. It’s nice having you here.” She said, marching upstairs like, Steve thought, a General ready to start a war. 

Steve heard the tok tok of her shoes on the stairs and the sudden “ANTHONY STARK, THERE’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME?” made him flinch a bit, looking upstairs. “JARVIS, I need to call backups?” he asked. 

“I’ll keep you updated, Captain.” Answered the AI. 

That was how Steve end up making breakfast alone that early morning: after a quick shower and a change of clothes, he came back in the kitchen where the bag with the breakfast was, still untouched on the table, while upstairs the yelling continued. 

So between the “You can’t ignore something like this!” from Pepper and the “YES I can!” from Tony, Steve cleaned the table from the pieces of armor, and make enough space to put down the coffee and some donuts still not completely cold. 

After like thirty minutes, Steve was with still half of his coffee, checking the news on the television: everything about the bomb in the bank caught all his attention.

“Forget it, I’m not gonna reschedule the night.” 

“You have to! Tony, for God’s sake-“ 

Steve looked away from the screen, still sat in the kitchen, watching the two of them walking downstairs. 

“It’s not that bad. Pep, come on.” 

“It is! You saw the mails, they-“ 

“It’s just an email.” 

“There’s like seventy-nine of them.” Shot back Pepper, standing next to Steve. 

“Well, it’s just air for me.” 

“Tony, please, this is serious…” 

“No it’s not and we both know it.” Tony grabbed his coffee, watching her from the other side of the table, “We both know that half of the damn company receive that kind of email all the time. I know and you know that from your first day, don’t you dare deny it.” He said pointing a donut at her. 

“I’m not denying, but-” she tried to say while Steve silently make her sit down on his place, before he tuned to the elevator from where someone waved another bag saying “Another coffee for Mr. Stark?” and the Captain smiled a bit, nodding at the poor confused guy. 

“So, end of the story.” Shrugged Tony, ignoring completely the new guest that came and left.

“Yes, it will be the end in the very meaning of the term. Can you listen to me for once?” 

“I’ve listen to you for more than thirty minutes, I think.” 

“Thirty five, sir.” Said JARVIS. 

Pepper sighed tiredly, and nodded a thanks to the coffee Steve gave her before looking at his boss again, “Tony, I’m serious. I don’t like this.” 

“I don’t like it either, but I’m not used to let them win.” 

“This is not about winning or losing. It’s dangerous!” She insisted after taking a sip, looking nervously at the inventor when he just huffed and sat down, looking away. 

“What’s dangerous?” Finally asked Steve, standing next to her. 

Tony noticed the hopeful look on her face and said in a rush, “No no no, don’t you even think-“ 

“Someone have threatened Tony this morning. Again.” Said Pepper, almost proudly, “Lots of email wishing for his death. His and the company’s, of course.” 

“They threatened him? They threatened you?” Steve said surprised, looking at her and then asking to him. 

“It’s nothing new.” Commented Tony, drinking his coffee. 

“But it’s always a threat.” 

“Someone understand. Thank you.” Said Pepper, “And no, maybe it’s nothing new, but Tony of course felt the need to answer to one, _just one_ call and say to the journalist, and I quote, that _No, I don’t care about threats, and I’ll be too busy preparing the party for tomorrow night, to even think about stupid kids in search of fame_.” She said with voice cold as a winter storm. 

Steve sighed and looked at him. 

“First of all, you shut up, this is not your area.” Said Tony at the soldier, “Second of all, yes, I want to do a party. My house, my rules.” 

“What if they follow you there?” 

“Why they should?” 

“Because they want to kill you and half of the country knows where you live!” 

“Well, sorry but being a Stark means that half of the world knows me that much.” 

“They know you that much because you never even tried to hide anything!” 

“Because I have nothing to hide!” 

“That’s not the point!” 

“I think Pepper is right to be worried.” Said Steve, trying to pacify them, “A threat is a threat. Maybe they won’t attack you, but they could still try.” 

“I know that, but I’ve never let people like those control my lifestyle. I can’t. If I had to run and hide every time someone say that I’m an asshole that deserves to die, I would never stop in the same place for more than one day.” Said Tony with a shrug, but his voice was slightly more serious now, “It would be impossible to keep up with all the warning calls, fake or not.” 

Pepper sighed, “I know that, I’m just asking you to delay that party to another day. For you own good… and for my mine’s too.” She said tiredly.

Steve saw him stare intently at her: he was thinking about it, after all, but Steve knew better how much a Stark can be stubborn.  
In that moment, he actually felt a bit proud of knowing him: Tony wasn’t the kind of man to submit without a fight, and Steve could only respect and understand that. He felt ashamed about being stuck in Christopher’s plan like he was at the moment… he never felt to trapped in his whole life. And he hate it.

“Not this time, sorry Pep. It would be too late anyway. You would say the same if it wasn’t for those stupid emails.” Tony said, finishing his coffee. 

“That’s exactly why I’m asking you.” Pepper shook his head, leaving the cup on the table, still half-full. 

“Pep, come on, nothing will happen. We passed thorough this many times…” 

“I have a bad feeling this time.” She said looking seriously at him. 

Steve felt bad for her, “Even if something will happen, the Tower can handle it, right? I doubt a group of people could-” and he just stopped there because, really, Christopher just had a meeting with him on the stairs inside there, and no one knew about it… 

“The Tower would be fine.” Said Pepper, “But of course he wants to show his beautiful and just fixed house in Malibu.” And Tony just rolled his eyes. 

Steve blinked, “Malibu…?” 

“My house is- I actually live there.” Said Tony, scratching his neck. 

“In perfect plain sight.” 

“Pep, don’t start again…” 

“Malibu…” 

“California…?” Nodded Tony, frowning at him. 

Steve almost felt his heart stop. He was pretty sure the connection with him wouldn’t work through all the New York- Malibu distance. 

“I’m just saying the truth.” Pepper said.

“Maybe these people won’t even have the time to follow me there.” 

“Oh, please, you’re not that stupid.” 

“I know I’m not, but-“ 

_Malibu. Tony would go to Malibu… maybe in few hours. The other side of the state…_ Steve just stood there, staring at the coffee, trying to keep the panic under control, trying to stop the urge to ask to go with him. How he could ask such a thing? Tony would’ve got the last reason he needed to be suspicious about his intentions and what excuse Steve could use this time? _I’ve never saw Malibu? I would like some time on the beach? I always wanted to be more tanned?_

Excuses were starting to lack and now he really needed one. A good one, or he could just give up and fail… and let other people get killed because of him. But at least Tony would be safe… 

Steve looked down at that thought, unsure. _No, that… that wouldn’t be the right choice._

“Steve, why don’t you come with me?” 

He blinked and looked up, realizing Tony was talking to him, “What?” 

“Come with me, for the party.” Tony said again, “So I’ll have the perfect bodyguard and sweet Pepper will not stay up all night worried sick about my wellbeing.” 

“That’s… actually a good idea.” Nodded Pepper, looking hopefully at the soldier, “With you there, maybe he’ll stay alive for another day.” 

“Wow, thanks for that.” Commented Tony. 

Steve was slowly rising from the sea of fear and worry, “Come with you- you mean to Malibu?” 

“If you’re free, why not? Always a pleasure to send Fury into panic, taking you around without warning.” 

“It would be really helpful, Steve. Checking on Tony, not- not send Fury into panic, of course.” Nodded Pepper, clearly hoping for him to approve. 

Steve nodded once, “Sure… I got no plans for tomorrow.” He smiled a bit, trying to sound more ironic that relieved. 

“Perfect. See? Everything solved.” Said Tony to Pepper, throwing the cup into the trash, “Be ready in, uhm, one hour? Malibu is not really behind the corner… or we could use my flying suit…” 

“No, we can’t.” Said Pepper in a tone that meant there was no negotiation about that. 

“Alright.” Steve nodded and stood, then turned around, unsure, “Did I’ll need a suit or something for the party?” and he blushed a bit when both of them smiled adorably at him. 

“It would be amazing to have you there through the crowd in the Captain Stars and Stripes suit…” smiled Tony, thinking about the scene. 

“But I’m sure you mean some _normal_ suit, so no, feel free to dress as you want.” Said Pepper with a quick, patience glare at the inventor. 

Steve nodded and walked to his room. Once behind the room’s door, he freed a breath that was stuck there from too much time. That sure had been a close call. 

 

An hour and a half later, they said goodbye to Pepper and jumped on a car that took them to the nearest airport and, from there, Tony’s private jet left to Malibu. 

Steve unbuttoned his brown jacket and took a deep breath, asking himself what Christopher would do now. He wasn’t running away and he was not quitting the mission, more likely he was trying not to fail, and to do that, he needed to follow Tony. He was still surprised about how accomplish that it had been so easy, in the end. 

“Don’t tell me you’re going to be sick?” Asked Tony, appearing next to him. 

“I’m not. Just…” 

“Just tired?” ended Tony for him. 

Steve huffed wearily, “I guess that’s clear by now.” 

“Just because you actually look tired these days, and usually is not that clear.” Tony took a seat on the row next to him, again dressed in an elegant gray suit, a drink in hand. 

Steve stared at it, feeling so out of place with his brown jacket and shirt even on a plane. He wondered if Tony had a wardrobe with only suits… and then he noticed him still staring, waiting. “I don’t sleep well.” He blurts out and of course when in loss of words, just say the first honest thing that normally you’d never say. Well done Captain.

“Really?” 

“You know, with my awake and everything…but it was worst before.” 

Tony studied him for a moment, “Nightmares?” 

Steve sat better, looking down and well, that wasn’t very subtle. 

“SHIELD didn’t give you something for it?” 

“They tried, but I refused.” 

“How come?” 

“They were searching for the faster way that could help me doing my job... too bad meds don’t affect me, so I accepted the other option instead.” 

“You mean…” Tony waved a hand, “You actually talked about it with someone?” 

Steve looked at him raising his eyebrows, “Surprising, isn’t it?” 

“No… just a bit.” 

The soldier smiled a bit, head against the soft chair, “I tried a couple of time. It was fair to try, being the man from the past defrosted after seventy years...” 

“But?” 

“But after three times I thought that I could handle it better by myself.” 

“And clearly you’re not a very good psychologist.” 

“Maybe not, but that one wasn’t either.” 

Tony almost choked with his drink, “My Goodness, Captain, that wasn’t very polite.” He said, laughing.

“I could’ve use more… _funny_ words.” 

“I dread to hear the funny words.” 

“Maybe one day.” Steve took a deep breath, watching him ready to ask something else, but Tony seemed to change his mind because he just finished the drink. It was weird talk without fight against each other, and it was even weirder talk about this kind of things… thing that Steve haven’t said to anyone. 

Was he hoping for a solution? Maybe. Was the right moment to work on his friendship with Tony Stark? No, not at all. And like most of the times, after talking with him, Steve looked down where the reactor should be, and again the guilt stabbed him like a knife: it was just because of that if they were getting closer, after all. Or was just the excuse he needed to start to- 

“It scares you?” Asked Tony. 

Steve looked back at him so fast his eyes almost hurt. “What?” 

“The reactor.” He said, tapping two fingers on his own chest. “You look at it like it’s something alien… more than the real aliens we saw.” 

“I don’t… I do?” _Captain Subtle strikes once again._

“Yes, you do. Even back in Tower, I saw you staring at it.” 

“I was just...” Steve saw him nodding, waiting for him to continue, “curious. I’ve never saw something like that. SHIELD don’t have many information about it.” 

“And they won’t have anything more than that.” Said the other, face and voice still impassible. 

Steve forced himself to nod, “I know it’s important for you.” 

“It is.” Tony looked down for a moment, and just when the soldier was going to say something more, he continued, “We have some hours on the flight. Try to get some sleep.” And he stood up, walking back in the corridor. 

Steve nodded slightly and just sighed. He closed his eyes, clenching his fist, and after a while, he actually managed to fall in a tense sleep. 

 

Sadly, they weren’t far enough from the nightmares. 

Between the strange and confuse images, Steve saw himself in front of the Iron Man armor laying on the ground completely turned off, the usually bright eyes now just two black holes. When he reached for the chest, instead of helping, he saw his hand twist the metal and grab the reactor that sparkled while all the wires were cut and then he watched it shine into his hand. 

Then a pleased voice whispered a simple _Well done_. 

 

Steve jumped awake, grabbing tightly at the first thing he found at reach. 

“Ow ow- ok, sorry about that.” Said Tony with his wrist trapped in the deadly grasp. 

Steve looked at him, breathing fast, looking down and letting him go, “Sorry, I- where you whispering into my ears?” 

“Call for you wasn’t working, so I changed to a soft tactic.” 

“Damn it, Tony…” 

“Did I made your nightmare worse?” 

Steve took a deep breath, a hand over his eyes. The last thing he needed right now, was the image of him taking the reactor like that. 

Tony sat in front of him, “But, hey, at least you got some sleep. Now you can visit another magical place.” 

Steve looked at him, then outside, “We’re... _that's_ your house?” he asked, blinking in surprise. 

“Welcome to the Stark base.” Said Tony, “Come on, I need to wake the place up.” And he stood again, leaving the plane. 

If Steve was already amazed from there, once outside he just stared for long time at the white mansion in front of him that, with some lights shining in the late afternoon, seemed a space station, with circular, big roofs and long walls made of glass through he could see part of the inside. 

He looked back the plane for a moment, and at the rest of the California behind it, before turn again and walk along the road. Reaching the area in front of the entrance of the house, there was a big fountain in the middle and Steve could already imagine cars parking all around it during the parties that took place there. 

Steve looked at the white walls around the place, up at the big windows, wondering if Tony cared at least a bit about his own privacy, but the answer was probably no.  
The house seemed to have only two floors, but there was probably a basement too. Maybe a third floor hidden in the elegant structure of the house and- 

“Welcome, Captain Rogers.” Suddenly said JARVIS from the door left open, “Please, come in. Mr. Stark told me to tell you to feel free to enter and enjoy your stay.” 

“Thanks…” Steve said, kind of relieved from JARVIS presence. At least he already knew something in there. Something that could help him if needed. 

The living room was as elegant and white as the rest of the house, with furniture and picture that just screamed Tony’s futuristic mind everywhere, only not placed in a complete mess like in the laboratory. 

Steve stopped in the center, in front of the big sofa, looking up at the round window in the ceiling from where he could see the sky, and then at the stairs going upstairs, with another one just beneath it, leading downstairs instead. There was a little area on the left, where he saw a corridor, probably leading to another wing of the house. Every line of the mansion was so smooth and perfect that he almost felt the need to grab his sketchbook and draw everything down. 

“Would you like to look at the view outside?” asked JARVIS. 

“Uh… sure.” Steve looked around and blinked at what he was sure was a wall, behind the large, curved sofa, but that instead was a gigantic window facing the ocean. Steve let the bag drop on the floor and moved to the glass, looking at the dark, stormy sea, from the line of the horizon to the waves that were crashing into the rocks down below. He had never been so close to the open ocean from his awaking…  
He took a deep breath and a stepped back. 

“So, what do you think?” asked Tony coming downstairs, some buttons of the shirt open on the chest now, and the tie a bit loosen. 

“It’s-” Steve turned around and… was Tony smiling? Not a big smile, but… “It’s impressive.” He finished, “Did you worked on the project of the entire house?” 

“Yes sir.” 

Steve nodded, looking at the balcony of the second floor, “It’s amazing. It kind of remind the Tower, but this is more... _Stark_ .” He couldn’t find better words to describe it and the other seemed pleased enough because he smiled a bit again. 

“More Stark. I guess I’ve reached my goal then.” Tony said, looking around, “So, the party will be here and…” he pointed at the area on the right, “there. There’s another- come on, I’ll show you.” He led them through the corridor and there was another big lounge with a door leading to more stairs outside that seemed to descended even more down, thorough the cliff where the house was standing, “Don’t worry, that’s not a way to jump into the sea. There’s another bar down there.” 

“There? Through the rocks?” 

“It’s covered. Just a private zone, but closer to the sea, so unless you want to feel the frenzy water on your face…“ 

“No, thanks.” Steve just looked down a bit, spotting some chair and tables… like a little park, but over a wild, windy cliff just in front of the sea. 

“People will be happy enough just being here. Usually is Pepper that take care of parties and stuff but-“ 

“She really don’t want you to do it this time, uh?” 

Tony shrugged with a know-it-all smile, “Women.” 

Steve looked at the rest of the area, with a long bar on the other side, more tables, couches, a big television and a piano in a corner. He walked slowly to it, staring at the shining, black musical instrument. “You play it?” 

“Sometimes. Pepper said it would make the place more classy.” 

Steve huffed a laugh, looking back at him, “She really care about you. And she’s really worried about tomorrow.” 

“I know she is, but she also know that if I’ll ever change my mind, it won’t be because of someone’s threat.” Tony moved to the bar, waving a glass at him that shook his head in a no, “I’m used to that and Captain America is here as well, so what could go wrong?” he said, pouring the drink for himself. 

Steve nodded slowly. He then saw the reactor shining and everything he managed to ignore for a moment fell on him once again like the ocean. He turned to the piano, hoping to forget about Christopher and the reactor for another moment.

“It’s annoying, you know?” Said Tony.

“What is?” 

“You looking away from it like you saw something disgusting.” 

Steve looked back at him, frowning, “What?” 

“This.” Tony tapped the reactor, “Its really that much of a problem for you?” 

_Oh. Oh, that’s why_. “No, it’s not.” 

“Looks like it is.” 

Steve was at loss of words for a moment: Tony thought that he was looking at the reactor that way because he found it disgusting. He wasn’t sure if start crying or feel relieved. 

“Maybe isn’t really nice to watch, but I think it looks pretty cool for being something stuck inside my chest.” 

“I wasn’t-“ 

“Not that I can do much about it but, polite as you are, you could try at least to not look at it that way.” 

“I never thought that it was-“ 

“You want me to cover it with a cute pink ribbon?” He asked, looking down at it, “Maybe red. It’ll fit with the suit-” 

“Tony, I don’t even know exactly what that is.” Steve said, voice more serious now, also exasperated, “It’s right there and- and it shine like a star, so it’s hard not to look at it, but it’s not- isn’t disgust. I swear.” No disgust, no. Just worry, guiltiness and, after the recent nightmare, pure anxiety. 

Tony stared at him for a moment, and then grabbed his glass, “Alright. Come here for a sec?” he said sitting on one of the backless chair. “Touch it.” 

Steve almost hit a chair with his knee at the sudden stop he made, when he was one step away from him, “Excuse me?” 

“It won’t kill you and I give you the permission. Come on.” And there was the typical Tony’s expression for _You pissed me off and now I’m gonna have my revenge_. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because- because I’m not very comfortable with this kind of things.” 

Tony gave him a sharp look, “Define _this kind of things_."

Steve started to feel trapped, “Technologic things. I’ve broke a lot of things already, you know that.” 

“The reactor will not break just by touching it.” 

“That’s good.” 

“Indeed. So, I’m waiting.” 

Steve looked down at it, then back at Tony. “Listen, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to give you the wrong impression-“ 

“Touch it, then.” 

“Please, stop saying that.” Steve saw him smile like a cat now and he sighed, “This is not a joke...” 

“You just said you’re not scared of it, either it disgust you, so what’s the problem?” Tony finished the drink and put the glass on the counter, “I just want you to touch a piece of metal and glass. You won’t touch my heart, don’t worry.” He added with emphasis, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Steve sighed, but still tried to fight this battle, "Why should I do it?"

“Because I’m asking you.” 

“But I don’t want to.” 

“My house, my rules, remember?” 

Steve understood that Tony wasn’t going to accept a no for answer. He wasn’t sure what was making him feel worst, the feeling of doing something wrong or the feeling to betray him even more just with that touch. Because he sure couldn’t steal it now... how could he? The house was empty, yes, but JARVIS was there, and he was almost certain that take the reactor from Tony’s chest wouldn’t be so easy… and sure as hell he wouldn’t just ripped it out with his bare hands. Steve shivered at the memory of the nightmare. 

“Still waiting.” Said Tony, like a tired kid. 

Steve took a deep breath, “Fine.” He stopped in front of him and looked down at the reactor: he could do it. It would help to understand it a bit better. Maybe he would have discovered that it was impossible to remove, or Tony was ready to prank him with a security system on the reactor that would shock whoever tried to touch it… and Captain America would've probably die from heart attack right there on the spot if that was going to happen. 

He looked at Tony for a moment and saw something in his eyes… something that almost make him ask if he was sure about this himself. 

“Go on.” Tony said before the other could speak. Voice flat like his expression.

Steve slowly nodded and raised his hand, moving the fingers to the reactor, withdraw them, took a breath and then moving them again closer to the light. Almost brushing the fingertips on it, though, he decided to stop, to say that it wasn’t fair, that he didn’t want to touch something so important, not with the shadow of Christopher creeping behind him… but suddenly he didn’t needed excuses anymore. 

Tony grabbed his wrist at the last second and stopped him himself. 

Steve flinched back at the touch: Tony was shaking a bit and, even if his brown eyes were stuck on Steve’s hand, the tension was easy to spot. 

Tony tightened his hold for a second before let him go, “I guess I was the one not in the mood, after all.” 

Steve wasn’t sure of what to say to that, “I wasn’t going to-”

“Don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have asked.” Tony looked around, “There’s… there’s a fridge there. Eat, drink something, do whatever you want… rooms are upstairs. Ask JARVIS if you need anything else, ok?” he stood up and walked away without looking at him. 

Steve tried to speak but the inventor was already gone. _What exactly had happened there?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Mister Stark" became "Mister Stako" somewhere, at some point, in this chapter, so if you find him, don't be scared: Mister Stako is a sign of good luck for the future.

That night was a restless night again. Even if Steve would’ve liked to blame the hours of sleep he had on the plane, this time was something else keeping him awake: the fear and tension he saw in Tony’s eyes were still a clear imagine in his mind, and sure that didn’t helped his dreams to get better.

Steve turned around once again in the bed and saw the clock stuck on five of the morning.  
He sighed and sat, scratching his neck, looking randomly in the room JARVIS told him to use that night. A big room on the second floor, with large window facing the California outside. The ocean was on the other side of the house, and he wondered more than once if that was intentional or not.

Steve moved the curtains and stared at the dark sky, then back at the television in the room but decided to keep it turned off. Last thing he needed was to listen about some other possible explosion in New York. And he was fearing that. 

He checked his phone, finding no cryptic messages or calls, even if he knew better that Christopher was probably controlling him anyway. Was impossible to know how he was doing that, but Steve was sure that if they were so ready to everything like Christopher said they were, a trip to Malibu wasn’t enough to make the job hard for him and his friends. 

He sure was not eager to test them again... 

Steve sighed sadly and changed to a shirt and a pair of dark trousers, leaving the room: the house was silent, no traffic sounds or phones ringing here and there like in the tower. 

“Good morning, Captain Rogers.” Said JARVIS, voice low and calm as always. “Can I arrange your breakfast?” 

“Sure… Tony is awake?” 

“Yes. He is in the laboratory. Downstairs, in the basement.” 

_Of course_. “And he already had breakfast?” 

“No. Mister Stark don’t usually eat in the morning.”

“Alright…” Steve remembered the stairs going below, in the hall, at the entrance, so he walked there.  
At the end of them, there was the laboratory: behind a wall of glass, he could see a big room, pieces of metal and computers on the tables, strange machines, a jukebox, floating things... and different Iron Man suits in the area more far away. He blinked in surprise watching a red Ferrari parked there too. 

Steve looked at everything for a moment before finding the man sat on the ground, working on… some kind of robot that it was moving by itself and that actually turned to look at him, making a sound similar to a whistle. 

Tony looked up just for a moment, “’Morning. Slept well?” 

“Yeah…” Lied Steve, staring at the glass, “Can I come in?” and for a moment he was sure that Tony wouldn’t let him enter. 

Tony wasn’t looking at him, he just said “J, open up.” And part of the glass wall slid silently away to allow the soldier to enter. 

Steve walked in, looking at the place with genuine interest, then turned to him, noticing that he was wearing the same clothes of the day before. Only the tie was gone. 

“You need something?” Asked Tony, keep working on the machine. 

“Just wanted to ask you about breakfast.” Steve saw him look up, “Coffee?” he added, hopefully. 

Tony looked down again, “No, but feel free to order something, if you want.” 

Steve stared at him unsure for a moment, fighting the urge to say something about how important breakfast was, knowing very well that there was something else more important to ask. Christopher or not, he wanted to know what was wrong, “You want to talk about it?” 

“I know its weird if say no to coffee, but talking about it isn’t a bit too much?” 

“You know what I mean.” 

Tony’s hand stopped just for a second, “Go have your breakfast, Captain.” 

Steve stayed quite. Press him was useless, he knew that much, so he just walked away…  
Just to come back downstairs ten minutes later with a cup of steamy coffee and some sandwiches.  
Captain America wasn’t a subtle person, after all. 

“I should’ve lock the door again…” Tony murmured to himself, still sitting on the ground, looking at soldier marching back and stop next to him. He stared at the coffee and then at him again, “Really?” 

“It’s coffee.” Steve said like there was no need of other explanation, offering the cup. 

The inventor sighed, but took it, “Can’t argue on that.” 

Steve placed the dish with the sandwiches on the closest table and smiled a bit, proud of himself for the little victory. 

“What’s with that happy face?” Tony didn’t miss it. 

“I was just thinking...” 

“About what?” 

Steve notice the Iron Man helmet close by, “You built the Iron Man suit in here?” 

“The final part, yeah.” 

“Final part?” 

“The project of the suit started in a cave.” 

Steve wished to punch himself. “Right.” he said, looking down. 

Tony took a sip, then asked “You didn’t know?” 

“I do. From what Fury told me about it.” 

“And how much was it?” 

“He told me about your kidnap… that they kept you in a cave and you created Iron Man in there. With the help of a man… Yinsen?” 

Tony nodded slowly, “He saved my life.” Voice now low like his glare, glued on the little robot in front of him. 

Steve knew he was walking on the glass there, but he didn’t want to back out yet, “Creating the reactor?” 

“Among other things.” Tony nodded again, “He would’ve deserved to survive that cave too.” 

“You feel responsible for him?” 

“I am.” Tony looked sideways at him, like he hadn’t meant to answer that question, “He saved me, of course I wish I could return the favor.” 

Steve thought about Bucky for a second. “That’s why you don’t like the reactor?” 

Tony looked back at him, frowning, “I _what_?” 

“You said that it doesn’t look nice…” _and you’re so worried that others find it disgusting_ . 

“I said that looks pretty cool.” Tony was looking at him with that careful glare again, “I was right, was I? You really can’t stand it.” 

“I’ve never said anything about it.” 

“Then say something about it. Come on, tell me what you think about the shining piece of metal and God’s know what else that I need to keep inside my chest.” 

“You never cared about what people think-“ 

“I’m asking you now.” 

Steve could feel the mood in the room going completely off the road, “I didn’t mean-“ 

“Then you can be clear for once and tell me what _exactly_ did you meant.” 

“Well, is…maybe it’s a bit strange to look at it, but its fine if you feel the same way about it.” Steve’s voice started to be lower and lower, ready to an explosion of rage, “Even if happens just sometimes.” 

Tony looked still angry, but his face lose part of it at that. He took a deep breath and looked away, “Its not strange for me. It was a damn consequence of a stupid kidnap, but it keeps me alive- Yinsen kept me alive. I just feel like- sometimes I feel like the wrong man escaped from that cave.” 

Steve was surprised to hear that, but he could also understand. “Just because Yinsen died, doesn’t mean that you didn’t deserve to survive. With everything you’ve done once outside that cave, I’m sure he didn’t regret his decisions.” 

Tony snorted a sarcastic laugh, “Iron Man was born. I guess it’s something.” 

“Something you can be proud of.” Steve said calmly and when the other looked at him again, he added, “And maybe I’ll keep staring at the reactor like is something weird, but I’m also amazed by it. Even if I still have no idea of what that thing really is… or do.” 

Tony shook slowly his head, “Hey JARVIS, why you don’t show it to the Captain?”

“My pleasure.” Answer the AI. 

Steve looked confused for a moment, then he found himself partly inside another holographic screen, so he moved away from the table he was leaning on: it was a virtual reproduction of the reactor, like the one he saw on the table, at the Tower, but bigger this time, with data floating around it. 

“Touch the screen.” Said Tony. 

Steve looked at him for a second, then brushed his fingers on the core and the reactor split in its different levels, with a bright, little triangle in the center. 

“That’s what do the magic.” Tony said, still sat on the ground. 

“The New Element…?” Murmured Steve, then blinked and looked at him, “Fury told me something about it. It’s the element you created?” He asked, changing Christopher’s name with Fury’s just in time. Close call again, but Tony nodded. “How?” 

“Getting drunk, desperate and lucky enough.” He answered, raising the cup. 

Steve smiled a bit, looking at the screen again, “It’s amazing.” 

“Oh really? Not weird anymore?” 

“Everyone can create something weird, but something like this…” Steve stared at the hologram thoughtfully, “You don’t see something like this very often.” 

“Well, was that or a torturous death, so…” 

Steve turned around, suddenly more serious, “I heard you need the reactor because of the injuries you got in Afghanistan… was that bad?” 

“Fury haven’t told you about that? Nothing in the files?” 

“Nothing specific.” 

Tony sighed, scratching his neck, “Was before the cave. During the kidnap, they attacked us and I ended up testing one of my bombs on myself.” He said and almost laughed at the mortification on the soldier’s face, “Thanks to Yinsen, I’m still in one piece, as you can see… Actually, I’ve got some bonus pieces.” 

“I need to show the X-rays as well?” asked JARVIS and Tony shrugged tiredly saying “Sure, why not…” 

Steve turned to the screen again, where now he could see the form of a body, Tony’s body, with the reactor into the chest. The picture zoomed on it and the reactor disappeared, showing little different pieces of metal around the heart. 

Suddenly everything was clear. Suddenly he almost felt his own heart stop. 

“Not dead, but close enough.” Said Tony after a bit, looking at the screen as well, “The New Element keeps those little, lovely things away from my heart, so yeah, I guess is actually amazing. Well done me.” And left the cup on the floor. 

“It keeps you alive.” 

“Pretty much.” 

“What if you had to remove it for some reason?” Steve asked without thinking, looking back at him, “What if something happen to it?” 

“I have two others prototype. Not as powerful as this one, but they’ll keep me covered.” He said brushing over the reactor under the shirt. “And like I told you, they’re not that fragile.” 

Steve didn’t say anything, watching the screen.

Christopher knew it. He surely knew how much important the reactor was for Tony, that he couldn’t live without it. 

Tony managed to survive until now, and Captain America should have been the one taking away from him the most important thing he have probably ever created. Yinsen’s legacy. 

“You’re not gonna faint, are you?” Tony called, “It’s not that bad.” 

The soldier breathed out, “Honestly, I think it is… it was, but you managed to survive, somehow. Creating a flying suit and a new element in the process.” 

Tony smiled, bit surprised, “Too many good words for a day, Cap. You’re going to give free hugs too?” 

Steve huffed, “Only if you ask nicely.” 

“Oh, I will…” Tony tried to stand but he stayed on his feet for maybe two seconds before fall over the robotic machine, holding on it to not crash on the floor. Steve was next to him in a second. “’Guess that hug will be kind of necessary...” Tony huffed out. 

“Did you get any sleep last night?” 

“Busy.” 

“Did you get some hours at least?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” 

“Sir, three hours of sleep in the time of two days is not what Miss Potts would define _fine_.” Commented JARVIS.

Steve shook his head, “Three hours in two days? Are you serious?” 

“You’re not the only one with sleeping problems, ok?” Tony straighten his back, “But that doesn’t mean that I need you to do the nanny again.” He added looking at him ready for the challenge… that he immediately lost, falling against him again. 

“Yeah, I can see that. Come on- come on, you need to lay down.” Steve held his arm over his shoulder and looked around, searching for a couch or a bed, or just something good enough. “With a gigantic house like this, you haven’t thought about put a couch in here?” he said moving to the door. 

“I can sleep in the suit.” 

“I’m not going to let you sleep in the suit.” Steve shot right back. Take Tony upstairs wasn’t difficult, as long he didn’t wear the armor, so Steve easily got back in the living room and moved to the big, circular couch in front of the window, but he stopped, feeling Tony put some resistance. 

“Other room. Please?” he said with a little smile that made the soldier sigh, but he did as he asked. 

Once in the big party room, immersed in the gray light before the dawn, Steve let him sit on the sofa close to the piano and took a breath, “You’re sure you don’t want to use your room? I can take you upstairs.” 

“No… just need to clear my mind for a sec. Need to finish that work in the lab and-“ 

“You’re not going back in lab anytime soon, so don’t even think about it.” 

Tony looked up at his stone face and huffed a laugh, “Yes sir… but I left my coffee there too…” 

“I can do some tea here… or there’s just alcohol?” Steve asked, moving behind the counter of the bar. 

“Tea? Ugh…”

“Under the third drawer, Captain. Left side of the counter.” Said JARVIS. 

“A whiskey will be fine…” 

“Shut up, Tony.” 

He smiled again, laying against the back of the couch. Slowly moving a hand over the reactor, taking a deep breath, closing his eyes. 

“Alright, I think is-“ Steve stopped, turning around after a bit, watching him asleep, but the inventor opened his eyes again. 

“Just resting my eyes.” Said Tony, staring at the cup he came to hand over, “Please tell me that is not tea…” 

“Is not tea.” 

“Really?” Tony took the cup and sighed after the first sip, “Caffelatte. This is so… _Rogers_.” 

“There’s still coffee in it, so should be fine for you. Maybe the milk will help you relax.” He sat on a chair close by, “Usually works for Natasha.” 

“Thanks, grandpa.” Huffed Tony, taking another sip. 

Steve smiled slightly. He watched him keeping his eyes into the cup, so he stood up, “I’ll let you rest. Call me if you need someth-” 

“About yesterday…” 

Steve stopped. 

Tony took a breath, passing a hand over his face, “I didn’t mean to overreact like that.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

“I do.” 

“The reactor is important, I know that now. It’s normal that you want to keep it safe.” He felt sick saying it, but he mean it. Even if the only danger at the moment, was himself. 

“Someone stole it, once.” Tony blurts out, “That’s why- and because you were so damn tense, you- your panic made _me_ panic.” He kept looking nervously into the cup. 

Steve blinked and sat down again, “Who stole it?” 

“An old friend of my dad.” Tony saw him staring, so he looked back in the cup, “Was years ago, when the reactor wasn’t like this. I couldn’t stay without it and he took it away from me, not very gently, so… well, wasn’t a nice show after that, but I worked something out and now I have more control over it. I still need it, but I can stay without it for some time. Without becoming a zombie after three seconds, that’s what I mean.” 

“He knew that you needed it?” 

“Sure, but, you know, my life was the only obstacle between him and get the control over my company and a new technology that could change the world so… I wasn’t a big deal I guess.” He shrugged, taking another sip. 

Steve looked down. _This situation is getting worst and worst, and damn worst_. “Sorry to hear that. If you had told me before, I would never-“ 

“I asked you. No need to apologize.” 

Steve stared at him for a moment, then asked, “You were testing me or yourself?” 

Tony didn’t look up, “Maybe both of us.” 

“No one got close to the reactor after what happened?” 

“Only Pepper. And Rhodey.” 

_Only people you completely trust…_

“You want to try again?” 

Steve was still nodding slowly, then he suddenly stopped, looking at him. 

“Just- please, don’t make that face. Really, it’s not the end of the world.” Tony said, tiredly. “No need to panic like it’s gonna set you on fire. I haven’t designed it for something like that. Not when I’m not in the suit.” 

“You just said that you don’t like people getting closer to it…” 

“Yeah, and I don’t need that. I have other things to be worried about already, so you can help me with this one, and I’ll help you with your fear of the high tech. What do you think?” 

Steve gulped, “I’m not really sure…” 

“I’ll kick you away if I’ll need to.” 

After everything he had heard, after what Tony explained to him about the reactor, the consequences of the kidnap and how his old friend tried to kill him, the last thing Steve wanted to do was to touch the reactor. Was even harder just look at it now… but Tony was serious. Maybe it really was something they both needed…

Tony wanted help. He was actually trying to win some of his own fears, and Steve could be the help he was searching for. Maybe finding a way out from his personal nightmare as well. 

“Only if you’re sure.” 

Tony nodded, “I am.” 

Steve took a deep breath and stood up, sitting next to him, He could see the reactor shining under the fabric, and it really was hypnotic. 

Tony unbuttoned the shirt enough to uncover the reactor and then looked back at him, “Scared?” 

“Just worried that I’ll break it.” 

The other laughed softly, “You won’t.” 

“What if I do?” 

“Steve...” 

“No, I am serious, what if-“ 

“Oh for God’s sake…” Tony grabbed his wrist again and placed the hand on the reactor. Both of them stopped breathing for a second. 

Steve never felt so scared of being a super soldier before. 

Tony was looking down at their hands, then he let him go and smiled a little. A tense smile, but still a smile, “See? Everything’s fine.” He said, and he was probably saying that to himself too. 

Steve was still staring at the light under his palm, feeling a light warmth and vibration over the fingers. He wondered if Tony had to feel that every day, every second, inside his body. If it was really an alien feeling, or just the feeling of being still alive. 

“You good?” asked Tony. 

“I can’t hear your heartbeat.” Steve said slowly. 

“The energy of the reactor cover it a bit, but is still there.” 

Steve moved a bit the fingers around the metal, looking at the light in the core. 

“Push a bit on the sides.” 

“Why?” Steve did it without thinking, and suddenly the arc reactor popped out into his hand. He froze completely, mouth half-open. 

“That’s how I keep it clean and in check.” Tony nodded happily. 

“Oh God-” 

“Don’t throw it away, please.” 

“How did I- I didn’t mean to! How did you put it back in?” Steve was staring terrified at the wires disappearing inside the hole in Tony’s chest.

“Don’t smash it either.” 

“How I put it back in?!” 

“I never thought to hear you say that-” 

“Just tell me!” 

“Calm down! Here…” Tony grabbed his wrist again and moved his hand to slowly put the reactor back in. After it clicked in place, he let him go, “See? Done.” 

“You- you knew it!” 

“Of course I knew it, I made it.” 

Steve took a deep breath, eyes closed and head bent down, trying to calm his heartbeat, “A little warning would’ve been nice... damn…” 

Tony laughed at the despair in Steve’s voice. “We won our fears. You should be proud.” He said, patting his shoulders. 

After a long moment, Steve looked at him again, “So that’s how you remove it?” 

“Yup.” 

“I thought it would be more difficult.” 

“I’m working on it. Usually is stuck there when I use the armor, but for the rest of the times its not…” he shrugged. 

_It shouldn’t be so easy_ , Steve couldn’t stop thinking, _And I would’ve liked to exchange few words with your old friend, about what he did to you_. 

Tony looked at him for a second, before laying against the sofa again, “Don’t think about it too much. When you create something that can change the world, not everyone can be happy about it.” 

“Steal it or destroy it.” 

Tony looked at him, nodding once, closing his eyes, “You know it.” 

Steve stared at the reactor for a moment, then back at him, just to find Tony asleep, head tilted a bit to the left. He sighed and slowly help him lay down, then stood and leave. 

Once in the living room, Steve looked at the sea, “JARVIS?” 

“Yes, Captain?” 

“How much time before the party started?” 

“The party should start at 9 pm.” 

Steve nodded, “Can you… if something happen, you can handle it? Or can you tell me? Let Tony rest for a bit.” 

After a moment, the AI said “The house will stay in automatic control. I’ll inform you in case of emergency.” 

Steve took a deep breath, trying not to think about the reactor falling in his hand, and finally moved to the kitchen to have breakfast. 

 

Maybe was because of the fresh air from the ocean, or maybe being away from New York for some day was enough, but Steve managed to fall asleep in the middle of the day without even realizing it. 

It was another confused dream, with faces all over the place, some that he knew, and others that he thought he knew but… 

Then a low ringing called him out from his sleep with a little jump. 

Steve looked around in his room, hearing the low ringing again. Once outside, he looked down at the empty living room, “JARVIS?” 

“Sorry for the trouble, Captain.” 

“What’s happening?” 

“One of the alarms outside detected something, but nothing has being found in the perimeter. Examining the area at the moment.” 

_Christopher. They’re coming to take the reactor_. Steve tried to put away the thought. “Can I check outside from here?” 

“A view of the cameras can be provided downstairs, in the laboratory.” 

Steve walked down and found the glass door of the lab opening for him. Once inside, he looked around and moved to the center of the area where three Iron Man suits were standing in big metal cases. When he stopped on the little platform, another holographic screen appeared, showing different angle of the mansion: the garden, the little airplane still there where it landed the day before, the entrance, the road far away… nothing worryingly though. 

“Probably was just some animals again.” Said Tony, appearing behind him with a steamy cup in hand. 

Steve looked at him, clearly still half-asleep, “Animals?” 

“The hill is huge; sometimes dogs run around… once a seagull activated three alarm. JARVIS still need some calibrations about that.” Tony moved to use one of the laptop. 

Steve looked at the screens again, expecting to see Christopher suddenly appearing, waving a hand at him. He looked at the other again, now sat on a chair, yawning, “Did you managed to sleep? How… what time is it?” 

Tony nodded, “Three pm. Weird.” 

“What?” 

“That I slept for so long.” Tony took a sip and smiled sarcastically at him, “But I think the same goes for you?” 

“Kind of. Yeah.” 

“We’ll be fresh and rested for the night, then.” Tony looked at him for a second, then gestured around the area, “But before that, you want a tour of the house? A proper tour. You seems to like tours.”

“You shouldn’t prepare for the party?” 

“Too early to get dressed, and someone else will take care of the rest. Pepper can’t, so she already settled the magic team for that.” He stood up and stretched, “Come on, I have some ideas for your shield to show you too… by the way, you have another shirt, right? Because, no offense, but the grandad look is not a fashion at the moment.” 

“I have something else in my bag…” said Steve with a resigned face, following him through the rest of the place. 

 

And the poor Captain kept following him for the rest of the afternoon, listening to all the technological tricks in the house, the creation of the Iron Man suit and how it worked. Tony was so in a good mood that he actually let him try some part of it, on one arm, and Steve learned how to unlock it and use some weapon hidden in it (almost decapitating Dum-E). 

The funny part of all this, was that Steve actually enjoyed listening to him. Tony was a genius, that was clear, but he was also genius enough to translate everything in a way that Steve could understand, trying in other ways if the first one wasn’t working. So Steve follow pretty much all the talking without going crazy.

Tony didn’t bother to tell him how the New Element was born in the details, but he was clearly pleased when the soldier smiled at how he reached the idea after studying one of the Howard’s old project.  
He kept explaining technical and modern structures, and something about robotics too, but he always added little details here and there that he knew Steve would’ve liked to know and remember. 

They didn’t talked about Tony’s old friend again, but he told him about how the first reactor was poisoning him to death and how a complicated series of events lead him to the solution when he was ready to give up. 

Steve listened and listened and the more he knew, the more he started to look at the man with respect. They both had hard times. Tony was good at hide them just as Steve was.

Around 7 pm, Tony ended the tour in the living room at the entrance, “Well, you feel more wise now?” 

“Maybe a bit confused too.” 

“Its a lot to take. You can think about everything in some years.” 

“I’ll try.” Steve huffed a laugh. Just then he noticed some people walking in and out from the entrance, greeting them while walking to the other room with big boxes in hand. 

“It’s the catering Pepper called.” Said Tony, “Better if l go check what they’re doing in there…” 

“I’ll go change my... fancy shirt, then.” 

Tony huffed a laugh, "Not fancy, just old." He commented, then stopped before the corridor, “Hey Steve,” he called and the other looked back from the stairs, “You’re sure you want to join this party? Because if you want to stay on your own, you can. I mean, these are just people, not- not our team… and the house is big enough for you to stay wherever you want.” 

Steve smiled patiently, appreciating his concern. “I’m not Tony Stark, I can handle a party where I’m not the principal attraction.” 

Tony raised his eyebrows, “Oh, that’s- I’m offended, now. I’m really, really- hey, guys! Captain Badass here hurt my feelings! Can you believ- what the hell is that thing?!” he screamed, disappearing in the corridor to meet the catering in the other lounge.

Steve smiled patiently, and walked back to his room ready to take a shower, when he saw his phone blinking. He took it and regretted it the second he read the message that was waiting for him: _You know how to do it now. We’re waiting._

Suddenly all the good times spent until that moment disappeared and he wished he never entered the house at all. 

 

At almost 10 pm, the mansion was full of people going everywhere, dancing in the big hall, drinking at the bar and chatting over the music. The parties at the Stark house weren’t crazy anymore, not too much, but people were enjoying themselves. An announced success as always. 

Tony tried to entertain the guests gently and professional as he could. He was good at this, he lived half of his life in these kind of events, but the little tips Pepper instilled in him about _How Not Be a Jerk And Ruin Everything_ were useful as well. 

An hour later, Steve was leaving his room in a more elegant blue shirt and black trousers, but also in a tense and nervous mood he couldn’t shake off from his shoulders because, for some reason that he still couldn’t understand, Christopher knew that now he was ready to steal the reactor. 

He knew how to take it, yes, Tony showed it himself, and everything was ready to go to hell. 

Steve breathed hard and grabbed the bannister, looking down in the entrance’s hall: he promised Pepper to check on Tony and he had to take a look downstairs at least. The people that threatened Tony could’ve be around already; they could be just fake idiots, or even being Christopher’s friends, but he didn’t know what to expect, so he had to keep his tension under control and watch over the party. He could do it. He sure wasn’t going to steal the reactor tonight. If Christopher wanted it so bad, he would’ve to come there personally and force him to do it.

Steve started to descend the stairs, and many eyes moved to stare at him. 

Christopher was already there? Someone of his friends was there, watching him right now? How they could know what happened inside the house? JARVIS was there, this should be Tony’s safe place… how the hell they could know that- 

“Captain Rogers.” 

Steve looked at the woman in front of him, in an elegant, long, purple dress that wasn’t doing a good job at hiding her curves. “Ma’am.” 

“So formal again? I’m Susan. I was at the Stark Tower some days ago. I helped you in your visit...?”

He blinked and finally pin point those long, black hair, “Susan Harrison. Yes, sorry. It’s good to see you.” 

“Same. I heard that you were here, but I wasn’t really sure if was true or not.” 

“I’m just helping Tony dealing with some problem.” 

“The emails, isn’t it?” Nodded Susan, “Most of the employee knows about it. We were worried, I have to admit, but we trust Mister Stark.” She smiled with a little shrug. 

Steve forced out a smile too, “I’m sure he have everything under control. You’ve seen him around here?” 

“Ah… I saw him before. Maybe he’s in the other room?” 

“Ok. Thanks. Enjoy the rest of the party.” 

“You too.” 

_I wish_. Steve walked through the corridor and back in the familiar lounge, looking around. Sadly, even walking at the edges of the area, he felt more eyes staring, curiously or awkwardly, at him. Studying him, the mighty Captain America that ran away from the city after the battle. The hero that was hiding away from the world.

If only they knew… and if they could stop staring… 

“Here you are.” Tony patted his shoulder, “Glad you decided to honor us with you presence. A drink? I know you don’t feel them, so you can-” he stopped, moving better in front of him, “What?”

Steve looked away from the crowd, happy that for once Tony was wearing a black elegant suit that didn’t make the reactor visible underneath the burgundy shirt. “Nothing. Drinks aren’t a problem, I just… feel _something else_. Lot’s of something else, actually.” 

Tony sent a quick glare at the room: the nervous, light silence wasn’t absolute yet only because the music was loud enough. “Well, after New York, having two members of the Avengers in the same room is something they sure weren’t expecting. Don’t mind them.” 

“I’m trying.” 

“Listen, you can check the situation from the lab if you want. Pepper won’t know and I sure don’t care.” 

“Enough people saw that I’m hiding here, don’t you think?” 

“Hiding? From what?” 

“Are you serious?” 

“I seriously missed something. Why hiding? You- because of SHIELD? You’re not running from them.” 

Steve stared at him, resigned, “I’m not?” 

“You’re not. It’s more like… protecting your own private life, honestly.” 

“Tony, SHIELD is just trying to protect it’s-” Steve stopped, shaking his head, “They’re trying to protect me. In their personal, creepy way. I know that, but...” Steve took a deep breath. God, he was on the verge of punch the window and leave, “You know what? Don’t listen to me. You were right, I’m probably not in the mood for a party. I’ll stay in the lab… keeping myself busy with JARVIS.”

“Well, if that’s another thing I wasn’t expecting to hear today.” 

Steve sighed, but he smiled a bit at that one, “Enjoy the party.” He said before turn around to leave.

“Hey,” Tony called, sounding worried, but also a bit disappointed, “Try to do the same, Cap? For me?” 

Steve nodded, looking sideways at him before leave, smiling politely at Susan when they looked each other in the hall. He needed air. He needed to breathe. 

He didn’t _run_ outside, he sure didn’t panicked, but he probably walked pretty fast through the entrance area outside, now occupied with cars all around the fountain. 

Steve closed his eyes and breathed deeply, then looking at the few stars still visible through the clouds.  
He was too much tense now, he would’ve probably start fighting with Tony staying in there another minute… and it wasn’t just because of Christopher’s message, but because he couldn’t find a solution, there was no way out so far. The only way to save New York from those bombs was to steal the reactor from Tony’s chest and now he knew how to do it. He was ready. 

He wasn’t ready to betray a friend, though. He wasn’t ready to stab Tony in the back. Even if he would probably explain everything after, Tony could maybe forgive him, but he would never trust him again. Not after something like this. 

That reactor was his life, literally and physically. That reactor was what he needed to live and that one reactor in his chest was apparently the more powerful, and the easiest one to steal. Just a click and there, done. 

Steve looked down and tightened his fist, trying to keep the control over the rage.  
Then he looked up, back at the mansion and something caught his attention: a flash in the second floor. Then another one. 

Tony said that the second floor would be off limits during the party… Someone could’ve easily sneak upstairs, but JARVIS would’ve told them to leave or warn someone about it. 

Steve’s rage kicked in and, Christopher or not, he walked back inside, ready to punch someone in the face. If needed, of course. 

He walked straight upstairs and then on the left wing, where he knew were the gym, a library and also the stairs to Tony’s private floor. Floor that he discovered during the tour that same afternoon. 

Those places were fine, half in the dark and silent. Steve just stopped at the stairs to Tony’s floor, “JARVIS?” 

“Yes, Captain?” 

“Everything’s ok? I think I saw some lights around here. Someone came upstairs?” 

A moment of silence, “No, I did not registered any visitors in the personal area of the mansion. I can search for anomalies.” 

“Do it.” Steve turned around, not completely reassured because of too many reasons, and a possible danger inside the house was just the cherry on top of that mountain of reasons. He was at the bannister of the floor again when JARVIS made him freeze in place with a few words. 

“A breach in the security has been detected.” 

“Tell Tony-” Steve was saying, but suddenly all the house fell into the darkness. He grabbed the bannister even more tightly, listening to the people start to complain, start to laugh and some little scream. 

Steve wasn’t sure if that was a funny joke from the owner of the house.  
A gunshot confirmed that it wasn’t, and the screams that followed pushed him to move. 

People suddenly were running away to leave the house, screaming in panic in the darkness. 

Steve walked next to the walls through the corridor and back in the panicked lounge where the music was still on, but no one was dancing anymore, busy running away, and in the dark he saw a group of people close to the piano, fighting. 

He started running, just in time to see someone smashing Tony’s head on the piano and the inventor fall to the ground, before someone hit him on the back of the head, almost making him fall too, but Steve grasped a chair and turned around, punching a man away, hearing part of the glass wall crack. Then he covered himself from a punch, dodging another one, ready to fight even harder. He really had enough… 

Another gunshot broke a light in the ceiling, “Enough, Captain!” Warned someone. 

Steve stopped and a punch sent him against a table, where he stayed still: three men, all with guns in hand, were in front of the piano that Tony was using to stand, a hand to his probably injured head. Couldn’t be sure in that half-darkness. Some other men were around in the hall, waiting.

“We weren’t sure about Captain America’s presence here,” said the same man of before, probably on his forties, if not more. The accent was strong, not American, “but it will be for the better, I guess.” 

“You guys are behind those lovely mails?” asked Tony. 

“So you haven’t ignored them, after all.” 

“I tried to.” 

The man took some steps closer to him, “Did you read them? All of them?”

Tony didn’t flinch, “Your requests were out of question, so i stopped after the first one.” He said and another punch sent him over the piano again. 

Steve stepped forward, but the rest of the group raised the guns against him. 

“Oh really?” asked the man, stretching the fingers of the fist he just used, “I asked you something that I’m sure it was easy for you to obtain.” 

Tony stood once again, “I don’t… I’m out of that kind of traffic. No free weapons for everyone anymore.” 

“And you expect me to believe that?” the man laughed, “You think I’m stupid?” and Tony’s expression standing for his ironic _Well…_ was useful to get another punch, this time in the stomach. “I am not here to play with you, Stark. You have something we want. Something we need to win our war.” 

“I- I don’t support war anymore.” 

“And the one you and you friends had in New York what was it? A party?” 

“Honestly? Lots of people saw it that way, so…” 

Steve saw another punch ready to hit, “ENOUGH!” 

The man turned, sending the angry glare against him. 

“Keep punching him won't solve anything.” Said Steve.

“Maybe not.” The man pointed a gun against Tony that raised his hands, “Maybe a bullet will.” 

“You’re not helping, Cap.” Commented Tony. 

“He can’t help you if you kill him.” Insisted Steve. 

“Not even being alive.” Tony said, now staring at the man with the same seriousness, “You have my attention, ok? Maybe I shouldn’t have ignored your messages, I have no idea of what war you’re talking about- but I can make an idea about it, I can!” he added quickly when the gun threatened him again, “I can’t promise weapons, but I can help in other ways.” 

“You’re not the first person saying that.” The man growled, “We already asked for help. No one cared about us.” 

“I’ll care. No need to point a gun at me. We can talk, ok?” 

Steve was staring at the two with rising tension: they didn’t wanted to talk. They wanted what they were came for. 

“We’re tired of talking. We’re tired of words that have no meaning for our cause.” Said the man in a low and cold voice.

Steve saw in his eyes what was going to happen and jumped into action: he throw the table against the men closer to him, then throw a chair at their leader just before he shot and the bullet missed Tony for some inches. In a flash Steve was next to Tony, launching both of them behind the piano that he flipped and that was instantly hit by a wave of bullets. He kept Tony under his arms, trying to cover, smelling blood somewhere. 

Tony was using his phone and then screamed thorough the gunshots, “Close your eyes!” 

“What?” 

“Do it!” 

Steve obeyed, hearing Tony scream “JARVIS, lights on!” and in a second, the entire hall was illuminated like was day again. The gunshot stopped and some groans took their place. 

“Come on, need to move!” Said Tony. 

Steve opened his eyes, seeing blood sliding on Tony’s face, from his forehead, “To where? They’re blocking the exit!” 

“Outside, from the garden-“ 

“It’s not safe, we-“ Steve saw a shadow in the corner of his eyes: he moved just in time to stand and cover Tony from two bullets that sent him back down against him with a groan of pain. He looked down at the two holes in the shirt and could only think that was a long time since he got shot like that. 

“Steve! Steve, oh God…” 

“It’s ok…” he felt Tony’s terror before saw it on his face, and still was surprised about it: Tony was keeping him against his chest, looking at his wounds, trying to keep him sat on the floor… and he looked terrified. 

The men stopped shooting and moved at the both sides of the piano. The one in charge just shook his head, “We came here to get weapons, but maybe killing two of the new America’s heroes will be good enough.” 

Tony grasped Steve’s shoulders and looked up at the man with silent hatred. 

“Maybe now you can understand our pain, Mr. Stark, when our brothers died in our arms.” The man nodded, then talked to another one in a different language. “It seems that we don’t need to worry about you anymore. Rest in peace in your…” he looked around, “fancy grave.” And all of them walked away under the lights that keeps flickering. 

Tony was breathing hard, following them with his eyes until they were gone, “JARVIS…” silence, “JARVIS!” 

“Mansion not – mpletely operative, Sir.” Finally answer the AI, “Police in coming- structure not safe- security system compromised…” 

“Call an ambulance… J, an ambulance, now!” 

“On their way- Captain status-“ but the AI words were lost in more buzzing. 

Steve groaned in pain, feeling the blood sliding under the shirt, “He… he said structure not safe…” 

“Shut up.” Tony took off his jacket and put it on his wounds to stop the bleeding. 

“If it’s not safe-“ 

“Steve, shut the fuck up!” He roared back and then looked up when the house suddenly start to tremble, “Are you kidding me…?” he hissed.

“We need to leave.” Steve tried to stand, but the injuries hurt. He should’ve begin to heal by now… why hurt so much? 

“You can’t move-“ 

“We need to get out!” 

“You just got shot! Can you stay down for a damn moment?!” 

“Structure not safe. Sir, you may need to leave the house soon as possible.” Said JARVIS.

“Why the hell it’s not safe? What else makes it not safe?” screamed Tony and got another buzzing in response. 

“If they didn’t killed us… they…” Steve’s thoughts ran to the only possible conclusion, and he grabbed his arm to get his attention, “He said _fancy grave_.”

Tony looked down at him, suddenly understanding: “They’re going to destroy the house.” He said and an explosion outside shook all the mansion. The floor started to tremble, and millions of cracks appeared on the windows all around them, until the glass exploded and the floor started to collapse on itself, with the two men going down with it. 

Steve felt the floor starting to bend and break, then the cold air and the smell of the ocean came, and he rolled over rocks that hurts his back. He managed to grab something and the world suddenly stopped spinning, with him on the edge of the cliff, with fragments of the mansion falling from above, into the water below. 

Steve looked up just in time to grab Tony’s arm before he could follow the remains of his house into the ocean. The wounds screamed in pain and he felt blood sliding down his chest. 

Tony looked at him then down, where part of the house was crumbling, showing the inside of the laboratory. He tried to free himself. 

“What are you doing?” Screamed the soldier. 

“Let go, I’ll be fine!” Tony looked down, “I’ll get the armor and come to get you.” 

“It’s too high-“ 

“It’s not!” 

“You’re not in the suit, you can’t fly over there!” 

“Well, neither can you!” 

Steve was interrupt by losing the grasp on the floor; he saw the lab and decided to push Tony inside the crack when they were close enough. 

Trying to slow down the fall, and not to end straight into the water, Steve grabbed some pipe and launch Tony inside. He stared worried at the pipe when it bended dangerously, but he managed to jump inside before it break. 

He rolled over the remains of the lab, coughing, pain all over his body, and saw Tony close by, trying to stand, moving to the soldier soon as he found him again. 

“Hang in there, help is coming.” Tony looked at his injures, then around the destroyed lab, a hand over the deep cut he had over his arm.

“We need to leave the house.” 

“Yes, I know, and we need the suit for that.” A loud crack above their head made him look up and he pushed Steve away before part of the ceiling fell down in a big cloud of smoke. 

Steve rolled on his stomach and tried to stand, “Tony?” he looked at the remains and start to move the rocks away. When he found him, he slowly pull him out, “You idiot… I can- take a falling ceiling better than you…” both of them fell back on the ground and Steve saw that he was unconscious, “Tony… Tony, come on…” he shook him a bit, but he didn’t move, blood running down his face from the hit on his head. Steve looked around, feeling the rest of the ceiling unstable. So very much unstable. 

Tony just saved his life, even if he knew that Steve could’ve survived better than him. 

“JARVIS…” Steve called, almost pleading, keeping the other into his arms, “I need help down here…” 

A buzzing sound again, then the AI’s voice arrived, half broken, “Captain, the house- you must leave the-“ 

“I know.” Steve looked around and then at the suits not too far, “But you have to help me.” Slowly, Steve stood up, taking Tony with him, limping until they were in front of the suit Tony showed him that morning. He carefully put Tony down. “JARIVS, can you take control of the suits?” and only one of the metal case opened. Steve quickly took out the pieces and put him on Tony’s body, “I need you to- can you drive us outside?” 

“Controlling the autopilot of the suit is still possible.” 

“Alright.” Steve locked the arms and the helmet for last, , “Turn it on.” He said and the eyes of Iron Man suddenly were bright of energy, all the suit moving to fit better on Tony’s body, even if something didn’t seemed to fit perfectly. Steve kept down a moan of pain, hand over his chest, just when a big crack ran above their heads. “JARVIS, go.” 

“Captain, I can’t leave you here-“ 

“Damn it- GO!” Steve pushed the suit away when the floor of the lab break and half of it slid outside. Steve grabbed something, apparently a table, that rolled above him and locked him between the rubble. He wasn’t sure where was up and where was down anymore. He kept grabbing a leg of the table, feeling nothing under his feet, hearing the ocean somewhere. 

“Captain, I can provide support.” Suddenly come the voice of the suit from somewhere, outside.

“Damn it JARVIS-” 

“The remains of the house will stay stable for-“ 

“Tony is still in there, take him away! He was hurt, he… he need medical support.” Why he suddenly thought that talking like an AI would help, was beyond his knowledge.

“There is a high chance that Mister Stark won’t approve this decision.” 

“He can’t complain right now...” He coughed and tried to hang on tightly, “Go. Take him somewhere safe.”. 

After a moment of silence, JARVIS said, “Helps have arrived, Captain.” 

He nodded tiredly, “I'll wait here, then.” Steve said, feeling the pain of the gunshots wounds run all over his body: if he had to die in there, at least he would’ve had no need to steal the reactor anymore. 

Suddenly, he could be free again. 

Then, the rest of the mansion crashed down into the ocean, and Captain America along with it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I should apologize for all the cliffy ending of the chapters... It was actually not intended (usually I write all the story in the same page and then split it in parts), but was that or chapters of like 20k words and, despite I enjoy to write long stories a lot, making a chapt. that long and another of 2k words doesn't look nice to me, so... hope you nice people will be patience with it. Plus: we're finally moving to the end! Still 2- 3 more chapters, I think... *keeps split and betaing the story like there's no tomorrow*

Someone was pulling him up. 

Someone grabbed his arm and he couldn’t breathe yet, in the cold pressure he was feeling all around. 

Steve suddenly found air again and began coughing, grasping anything he could find at reach. Slowly, feeling the ground under himself, he kept climbing and coughing, looking up for a moment, just to find Iron Man’s bright eyes staring down at him while keeping him safe on the rocks. “Tony…?” Steve almost sighed in relief, but the fast rising pain interrupted him and tightened his grip on the metal arm: pain in his chest, in his heart… Christopher… the reactor. 

Steve half screamed, trying to resist at the storm of pain he suddenly was into. 

“Help will arrive soon, Captain,” said the voice of JARVIS, “I should check your wounds.” 

“No.” He almost roared and felt the suit stop any movements, “No, it’s- it’s nothing… just need… a moment.” He added more calmly, a hand on his chest. Looking away, he saw the ruins of Tony’s mansion still smoking over the cliff, the sky colored with the shade of an incoming dawn. “What- what happened?” 

“The mansion was attacked. Half of it was destroyed and you were called missing for almost five hours. Mister Stark-“ 

“He’s ok?” 

“Yes. Mr. Stark was safe before the structure’s collapse.” Iron Man kneel next to him.

Steve looked behind himself, the waves crashing over the seaside. He sighed and another flash of pain hit hard. 

“Captain Rogers, your status is...” 

Steve shook his head, “Tell Tony too. No checkups… not while I- when I can’t…” and he crashed down, unconscious. 

.-.-

He had so many things to think about, so many problems to solve, fears to win… but he was so tired that not even the nightmares appeared during his sleep, for once. 

Steve slowly opened his eyes, recognizing the laboratory of the Stark Tower and, for a long moment, he don’t even asked himself how he arrived there or why or with who. He just stared at the ceiling for the long time of… probably twenty seconds. 

He blinked and carefully sat on the little bed hidden behind one of the glass-walls of the lab. Everything was normal there, nothing exploding. No pain… 

Steve looked down at himself, hand on the fabric of the clean shirt he was wearing, feeling a bandage underneath, but not pain. Not even from his heart. 

He sighed and turned around hearing footsteps. 

Pepper looked worried at first, but when their eyes meet, she smiled a bit, “Thank God.” She said quietly and walked straight to trap him in a hug, “Steve, we were so worried.” 

“Sorry…?” he said, patting her shoulder, “I guess you know what happened.” 

She let him go and nodded sadly, sitting on the bed, next to him. She was wearing just a white shirt over the skirt this time, no jacket, and that was somehow worriedly. “I knew it. I knew that this time something was going to happen…” 

“No one could’ve known. Not something like that. They found them? Who attacked the mansion?” 

“Not yet, but the police is following some traces. We gave them all the mails we had. I’m not sure how much that will help, but…” she sighed, then shook her head, “If you hadn’t been there with Tony…” 

“He would’ve find another way to deal with them.” 

“You got shot, Steve.” She said with a worried face, “You got shot twice, Tony was found unconscious in the suit… the police thought he was dead. And the house- half of the house is under the sea now.” 

“We’re fine, that’s what matters, Pepper.” 

“It could’ve gone better if he’d listened to me for once.” 

Steve took a deep breath, “Where is he? He’s alright?” 

“Yes, just some scratches and a bump on his head, but…” 

“Miss Potts, Director Fury in coming.” Warned JARVIS. 

She sighed, “Stay here, ok? Let us deal with him.” 

“Why? What happened with Fury?” 

“He was mad at Tony because he didn’t let SHIELD check on you when you were found after the attack.” Pepper said, walking away, “You need to rest, we can handle it.” 

“WHERE IS HE?” boomed Fury’s voice from downstairs: the man itself got out from the elevator and stormed into the hall. He looked at her, coming downstairs, and shook his head, “I’m sorry Miss Potts, but I’m not going to back off this time.” 

“Director, I’m sure Tony have told you already, but-“ 

“I’ve told him many things _already_.” Commented Tony himself, coming from the corridor: the black t-shirt couldn’t cover the plaster on his forehead and neck, or the bruise on his face. 

“And still not the one I asked for.” Shot back Fury. 

“Steve is still recovering, but he’s fine.” Said Pepper. 

“He can recover at our base. With people the actually know about his status..." 

"And that can test on the poor sleeping soldier?" Tony commented, "That sound lovely." 

"Said the man that is keeping him in a lab.” 

“He asked for it.” Tony's voice was cold now. 

“Did he?” 

“SHIELD is not in his top ten favorite places, from what I know. I am not keeping him here against his will-“ 

“It doesn’t look that way.” 

Tony blinked frowning, “Excuse me?” 

“I have to remind you that you don’t even told us where he was after you found him?” 

“Because I could handle it.” 

“You took him away without ask or warn anyone!” 

“Director, please, I think we’re all overreacting…” Said Pepper. 

“I think something is happening here and I want to know what.” Said Fury. 

“And here we go again with the _absolute control syndrome_ …” Tony said, going to the minibar. 

“I had enough of your bullshits, Stark.” 

“ _My_ bullshits?” he placed the bottle down on the table in a hard hit, “You’re the one saying that I’ve kidnapped Captain America- and why should I, by the way? Or _how_?” 

Fury’s eyes were ice cold, “You’re a Stark. I’m sure the _how_ is probably the last of your problems.” 

Tony make a step against him. “If you’re trying to say that I-“

“No one kidnapped anyone.” Said Steve from the stairs, looking at the director, “And I’m staying here because I want to.” 

Fury stared at him for a moment, maybe thinking if it was worth to explode in rage there or if it was better being at SHIELD HQ. “I need to talk with you, Captain.” 

“We are talking.” 

“In private.” 

Steve said nothing. He couldn’t leave... so he looked at Tony for a moment, that just nodded, like he understood what he was thinking, so he pointed at the lab with an arm. 

Fury shook his head in disbelief and walked upstairs. 

Steve followed without looking back. Once the door closed, he saw some screen in the lab turn black, and the big window facing downstairs darkened to leave them in privacy. Probably Tony’s idea. 

Once in the center of the lab, Fury turned to look at him and shrug again, “Captain, I fear I’ve missed something here.” 

“Not much.” 

“Then can you explain to me what the hell is happening?” 

_I can’t_. Steve fought once again to keep down those words, “After the battle I needed some time. To clear my mind.” 

“Ok. I imagined something like that.” 

“Then why you’re so surprised?” 

“Because you choose Stark for it! Between all the places you could’ve choose, you picked up Tony Stark’s house?” He said with a half stressed, half confused voice. 

Steve knew that it could look strange… hell, it probably was, but he had his reasons. He couldn’t choose: he’d lost that luxury days ago. “You’re mad because of that, or because I picked up a place you can’t spy into?” 

Fury’s expression stayed serious, “I thought we had already solved our problem about trust, Captain.” 

“We didn’t solved it. I just accepted SHIELD controlling me half of the time. And hiding things from me.” 

Fury took a deep breath, “We have our reason, and that doesn’t depends on me, like I already explained to you.” 

Steve nodded, face impassible, “And like I already told you, I accepted it.” He then sighed, “I’m not hiding from you or SHIELD, and I’m not running away. I am just... here. Trying not to become paranoid.” 

“Not become paranoid? In here? Tony’s house just got destroyed with you two inside. You almost died because some idiots in need of guns still thought that Stark still meant _free weapons_.” 

“I know. I was there.” 

“Well, does that sound fucking relaxing to you? Because it doesn’t sound relaxing to me!” 

Steve took a deep breath because no, relaxing wasn't the word he would've used for describe the last days, “I stayed at SHIELD since my awake, I trusted you and your people, I fought your war and I’m glad that we won, I really am, that’s what I was trained for, but that doesn’t mean that I have to stay under yours or anyone else's control outside the battlefield.” 

“Captain, we never said-“ 

“I know.” He stopped him, “I know I’m not a prisoner at SHIELD and I know you’re keeping me and the Avengers safe in a way that probably only you know, and its fine. I’m just trying to solve my own problems in the time I have between a war and an alien invasions, and that’s something I don’t need SHIELD solve it for me.” _They can’t help me, anyway, or more people will die_.

Fury stared at him with a cold glare. “And what’s Stark role in all this?” 

“I needed a place to stay, he offered me one.” 

“That’s it?” 

“That’s it.” Steve took a breath, “Pepper told me about the emails that threatened him and that he wouldn’t change his schedules because of them, so I accepted to go and help him if needed. I wasn’t expecting an attack. I should’ve.” 

“He didn’t let us check on you when he found you.” 

“I asked him to. I told JARVIS no tests while I was out… he warned Tony, I guess.” 

“So you don’t want to be healed from us either. God help me…” Fury sat on a chair, passing a hand over his face. 

“I meant _no one_.” Pointed out Steve, “I was confused, but I was fine.” 

“You were shot.” 

“The wounds already healed.” 

“Not completely.” Fury stared at him again, for a long moment this time, and then said, “So what now? You still want to stay here?” 

“For now.” 

“And how long this _for now_ will be?” 

“I don’t know, but we’ll be ready if something will happen.” 

“I hope so.” Fury stood, staring intently at him, “Don’t disappear again, Captain. Was enough of a challenge searching for you for seventy years.” 

Steve nodded slowly and watched him leave. Only then, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes: for how long he could continue like this, indeed… 

Instead of drive himself crazier than he already was, though, Steve sighed and walked downstairs. 

“-they turned my house into a minefield like it was a damn park with free access!” 

“We’ll know what happened, Tony…” 

“It’s too late anyway.” 

“You’re both fine, the house can be rebuilt…” 

“Steve could’ve died in there, I could’ve died, Pep. Thank God no one died, and I still don’t know how I haven’t seen all that shit coming!” Tony shut up when Steve was half way there and looked away, both of them sitting at the kitchen’s counter. 

Pepper looked back at the soldier, “You ok Steve?” 

He nodded, “Fury’s gone?” 

“For now.” She said with a sigh, “He said SHIELD will help find the aggressors. They will probably try to leave the country soon as possible.” 

Steve sat down next to her, massaging over his heart and he saw Tony notice it. He stopped, cursing at the new, stupid habit, blaming Christopher for it. Trying to stare back at him, he looked at the plasters and scratches over Tony’s face, remembering the wounds he have got during the attack, “How’s your head?” 

“Full of wonders as always.” He answered, voice still nervous.

Pepper’s phone started ringing and she took it from her bag, “Its Happy.” She sighed, “He’ll never forgive himself for asking some day off this time.” And walked away to answer. 

Steve watched her, and then tried to remember the last moments in the house. He turned to face Tony, “You took a falling ceiling for me.” 

The other looked up from his glass, “So what?” 

“I mean- thanks.” 

“Well, you put me in the suit and took a falling house for me… and two bullets, so I guess we’re kind of even. Sure it would’ve been a problem the other way around.” 

“JARVIS helped...” 

“You should be glad that you didn’t had to pilot me outside.” 

“Oh, I am.” Steve said in relief. 

Tony breathed deeply, looking seriously at him, “But without your shield, you can’t fight against bullets. Just a friendly reminder.” 

“Like you said, it would’ve been a problem the other way around.” 

“I can take two bullets.” 

“No, you can’t.” 

“I survived a bomb.” 

“And you need a reactor in your chest now.” Steve looked down at it, unsure, “Is it bulletproof?” 

“Enough to resist some shots.” 

Steve nodded, and then shrugged, “I saw the guy with the gun, I moved. You would’ve done the same for me. You did. With a falling ceiling, but…” 

“Close enough?” 

“Close enough.”

Tony huffed a laugh and stood to fill a cup of coffee that he placed in front of him, “Can I ask you one thing?” 

“Just one? You hit your head harder than I thought.” 

“Very funny.” Tony sat down again, now in front of him, on the other side of the table, “When I found you on the shore, JARVIS repeated your message and I listen the records to be sure he wasn’t going crazy…” 

“He wasn’t.” 

“Yes, I know, but you said…no more test when you couln’t…?” Tony saw him look down, “I’m just guessing you meant to say _when I can’t agree to it_ or something?” 

_When I can’t say no_ , Steve thought, _but that was the point_. 

“You meant SHIELD in that?” 

Steve looked at him and wow, Tony’s voice was cold, but his eyes were shooting rage. “No. No, they- SHIELD never tested on me against my will, come on. I was just confused... I don’t know how much time I stayed underwater, and suddenly a metal suit wanted to check on me-“ 

“To be sure if you were still in one piece.” 

“I know… I know, but at the time I just wanted to be left alone and breathe.” And Steve saw a clear not convinced expression on Tony’s face, “I rarely needed to be patched up during the war, because I can heal by myself. Cuts, bullets, I can heal from pretty much everything so I could let the team save the people that actually needed help. It’s like- it’s an instinct.” 

“ _Don’t mind me, bleeding to death for some hours_ kind of instinct?"

Steve snorted a laugh, “Probably, but I know my limits. I was fine.” 

“You were not.” 

“Come on…” 

“You were screaming in pain. You stopped after a bit, when I found you, but clearly you weren’t so much fine.” 

Steve tried to hide his tension. Yes, he remembered himself screaming before passing out… because Tony was still too far away from him. “I can deal with everything, but I still feel the pain.” He forced himself to look at him, “I guess I’m not the perfect soldier, after all.” And oh, if that wasn’t a low blow. He could’ve said something more sad and full of regret to the son of the man that turned him into Captain America? 

Tony stared at him in silence for a moment. “I know.” He said slowly, then shook himself and added quickly, “That you can feel the pain. That’s why it would’ve been better let JARVIS check on you.” 

“I’m fine now, so no need to worry.” 

“But I was. We were. Pepper was.” 

Steve blinked, staring at him. 

Tony took a sip of coffee, looking at Pepper still talking on the phone, “You know, Captain America lost into the ocean, because of a Stark… doesn’t ring any bell to you?” 

Steve just blinked again, before say “I wasn’t at the end of the world. I was just… under your house.” 

Tony shook his head with a sigh, “Sure… right.” 

“And my first crash into the ocean wasn’t Howard’s fault.” He added. 

“I know. That’s what most of the people told him, but…” Tony leave it with a shrug. 

“You’re saying that you were scared to waste time searching for me into the ocean like your father did?” Steve’s voice sounded harsher that he wanted. He couldn’t let Tony think that his father was a complete monster, and he wouldn’t let him blame Howard for his crash into the ocean for sure. Howard wasn’t perfect, no one was, not even Captain America, but he tried to save him, to help him... Howard never forgot about him. 

Tony looked at him, taken aback. “He never said that it was a waste of time.” 

“But you did?” 

“Ok, Steve, I think you got this wrong…” 

“I did?” 

“I was scared, alright? Yes, I was.” Snorted Tony, “And of course I would’ve searched for you. What I meant, is that now I can understand better why my father did what he did, searching for you through the years.” 

_Understand better_? Steve hit the wrong side of his cup and the coffee splashed on the counter. 

“And well done, Captain. Still asleep?” Tony sighed, moving to get some paper to dry the table. He almost jumped when a hand grabbed his wrist to keep him there.

“You understand better... what?” Asked Steve, leaning on the counter.

Tony was on the other side, kind of relieved of that space. “Uh… I don’t follow…?” 

“You said you understand him better now. How’s that?” 

“Well, I- I know you better now, for started? I know you’re not that big jerk that I always thought you were… so…” he tried to get free, but the soldier wasn’t ready for it yet, “I know the world maybe still need you too, so it wasn’t a waste of time, after all.” He tried to be ironic, but the soldier was still staring at him, “Could you…? I kind of need both my hands.” 

Steve nodded slowly, letting him go. Indeed: what he was expecting to hear? 

“And by the way, Steve…” 

“…Uh?” he shook his head, trying to connect to the present again, “Yeah?” 

“Thanks for saving my life. Twice.” 

Steve saw he was serious now. He nodded, “Don’t mention it.” 

Tony filled his cup again and handed it to him, “But you’re not bullet proof, so no more human shield, got it?” 

“Got it.” He said with a little smile, and saw him nod and reach Pepper to speak with her. Steve looked at them for a moment, and he thought that it was actually true now: he didn’t want to leave the Tower. 

 

Steve should’ve been happy about that thought, about the decision to actually want to be part of something that wasn’t SHIELD or war, but just simple, normal life… Yet, that night he couldn’t sleep. 

He rolled and turned into the bed, trying to think of the bright side, but how could he, if the main problem was still there, hovering above him like a ghost? 

At 4 AM, Steve sat on the bed, hands over his face, looking down on the floor: with all the possibilities he have in his new life, why he had to find his place in this future while someone was threatening him and thousands of other people if he refused to steal the reactor from Tony? Why he have to start to feel actually better, with Christopher’s shadow following him? How many of all these decisions were made by himself and not because of the circumstances? He was trying to convince himself that stay there, in the end, was for the better because he had to, or because he wanted to? 

Why, why he was finally starting to understand Tony Stark just before having to betray him in the worst way possible? Steve knew that the longer he keep lying, harder would been to be forgiven, but what else he could do? He had tried everything; he thought about possible solutions, but there was none ending with Tony and the civilians both safe and alive. Christopher’s plan was apparently perfect. 

Steve took a deep breath and put on a black hoodie. That’s when his phone flashed and he already knew who it was. 

 

On the 14th floor, Christopher was just a shadow against the wall, looking at the city outside, but he turned when he heard footsteps, “I’m glad to find you well and alive, Captain.” He said, keeping his hands in the pockets of the long jacket. 

“Are you?” Said Steve, stopping at the end of the stairs. 

“Of course. We were really worried to lose you in that terrible accident… what a strange destiny, isn’t it?” 

“You’re saying that you didn’t sent those men to kill us?” 

Christopher tilted his head, almost offended, “Of course not. Why we should seek that kind of support? I have told you already, we need you both alive. Would be stupid to assault Stark just like that, when we are so close to reach our goal.” 

“So you’re telling me that you and your group had nothing to do with it?” 

Christopher was staring calmly at him, thoughtfully, then smiled a bit, “We don’t. Officially.” And he saw the soldier scoff a laugh, looking away, “I have to care about your situation, Captain. What my people decide to do about other problems, is out of my control.” 

“You can stop lying and tell the truth about _my situation_ , then?”

“I probably will. Sooner or later.” 

Steve was close to punch him once again, but just shook his head, trying not to think about the attack at the mansion. “So the sudden trip to Malibu wasn’t a problem for you.” 

“Not at all. I must admit, I was very impressed about how easily you managed to follow Mr. Stark there.” 

“I didn’t do anything.” 

“He trusts you, that’s all you needed. He trusts you enough to ask you to follow him… and enough to show you how to remove the reactor from him body.” 

Steve tightened his fist, but that Christopher knew already about that, wasn’t a surprise. But how? He asked himself that question from the first days... 

Christopher sighed patiently, “I told you, Captain, there is a special bond between you and Mr. Stark. Friendship, love, respect, call it however you want, but there is a reason why we have chose you out of all the Avengers.” 

And how Steve could answer to that? It was clear by now that Tony really considered him as a friend… enough to risk his life for him. Enough to care about his wellbeing… Enough to seem like something more? Steve felt sick just thinking about it: if really his actions had led to Tony falling for him, there was no way to be forgiven. 

“So now you are ready, I think.” Said Christopher, calling him back to the present, “You have his trust and you know how to take the reactor. I know you actually took it already but, as you have seen, we did not rush. We… well, actually I said to wait the night of the party, but problems happens.” 

“What was I supposed to do? Just take it and run away?” How they could know something that happened inside the house? Even when the first bomb exploded… If he just had followed Tony to caught that superhuman, the bomb would never...  
Wait…

“It was an idea like any other. The surprise effect would’ve been very effective.” Christopher shrugged, “But, all considered, was good to wait a bit more. We were ready to use the attack at the mansion to our advantage, when we were sure you were dead into the ocean… but here you are again.” 

_Superhuman…_

Steve blinked and looked intently at him, “Your friend couldn’t read my mind through the water?” and for once, he saw a sparkle of surprise in his eyes, his little smile lessening, “That mystery was driving me crazy... It’s not just spying when you know things that are only inside my mind.” He saw him staring in silence, “You have someone with _special abilities_ with you, did you?"

“I was wondering when you would have found out.” Christopher smiled slowly, “I will grant you that. It is true, we have a _special friend_ with us.” 

“And that sound fair to you?” 

“You are a super soldier.” He laughed a bit, “Captain, I know very well how easily you could throw me out from this window. I don’t have interest in violence, if not really necessary.” 

“Right. In that case, just blow up my heart and my mind?” 

“It sound very poetic, isn’t it?” 

“And not very brave, if you ask me.” 

“I do what I can.” Christopher sighed with a shrug, “But this torture of yours will end soon. We would appreciate to have the reactor today.” 

Steve felt the floor disappear under his feet for a second. “What? Why?” 

“Oh, despite how much I love these little chat between us, Captain, I am afraid that is not really the main intent of our plan. We want something that you can provide us. Its time to end your mission and be free again.” 

_Today? I have to kill Tony today?_

“You’ll give me the reactor and I’ll take you in the same place you woke up the first time, with everyone happily ready to remove that little thing from your heart. Easy and simple. We have no interest in kill you or continue to torment you. We just want the New Element.” Continued to explain Christopher. 

Steve forced himself to talk, “What about the bombs?” 

“We will defuse them as well, as I promised you.” 

“And what if I don’t believe you?” 

“Well, I am afraid you have to. There is nothing else you can do.” 

Steve remembered Tony’s scared face the first time he almost touched the reactor and force down a shiver. “Tony can’t stay without it. He will die if-“ 

“That is not my problem.” Again that cold, creepy smile. Christopher then walked a bit around him, “How to obtain it is up to you. I will wait outside the building and from there we-“ 

“No.” 

Christopher stopped behind him, watching him with curiosity, “No?” 

“I think I’ve accepted enough orders from you.” Steve turned to look at him, “You want the reactor but you don’t want to get your hands dirty? Fine, I’ll do it, but if you want that thing, you’ll come and get it.” 

Christopher stared at him, studying him, “You want me to be present?” 

“You’re already inside the tower. I doubt you’ll have any problem reaching the top floor.” Steve breathed deeply, “From there, I’ll follow you.” 

“You want Mr. Stark to see me. Him, or his AI, I presume?” 

“I’ve managed to hide everything from them for days. You can’t do the same for ten minutes? No violence involved, don’t worry.” 

Christopher smiled ironically, thoughtfully. Only, he wasn’t exactly _thinking_ about it... 

_He’s waiting_ , Steve thought. “Your Special Friend is checking my brain for any trap?” 

“Just to be sure.” The other nodded, then looked down at his phone. “Well…” he looked up, “I think it would be fair to come to end by business with Mr. Stark… personally.” Putting the phone back in the pocket, he nodded at the Captain, “I will come to get the reactor this evening. Forgive me if I’ll be late, but we need to prepare ourselves, first.” 

Steve just stared at him. 

“Last day, last deal. I like your way of thinking, Captain. I’m going to miss you, really. I will see you later, then. Have a nice day.” That said, Christopher calmly left the atrium, descending the stairs once again as if nothing happened. As if he didn’t just ordered Captain America to kill Tony Stark. 

Steve closed his eyes, pressing the fists on them, thinking only that this was all wrong. Everything. He didn’t want to take the reactor. He didn’t want to scare Tony again. He didn’t want to betray a friend. 

Half of the tower trembled when he punched the gray wall, a light crack appearing on it. 

Steve stared at it, anger hitting in wave that he hardly could contain anymore. How much time he had spent on the edge of complete fury… days, too many days with the desire to kill Christopher. Or himself, everything to save Tony and those innocent people, and still he failed. 

Captain America failed, and a friend was going to pay for it. How he could still be an Avenger after something like this? 

He didn’t find an answer in the two hours he stayed sat on the stairs.

 

When Steve was back on the top floor, he saw the window of the balcony open, the city already awake outside, under the clouds. He walked into the kitchen and saw the coffee machine with some of it inside, made it not too long ago, and a cup next to it. 

“’Morning.” 

Steve turned around, Tony suddenly appearing next to him, filling his own cup, probably the second in less than one hour, wearing an old and stained t-shirt over the dark trousers. 

“Having fun around the place? JARVIS told me you were awake soon-ish this morning, and not for your usual and not very necessary training in the gym.” Said Tony, passing a hand through his hair with a yawn. “I mean, I guess it is kind of useful but… you’re very much pumped already, so…” he slowly waved a hand, “In the good way, of course. Not like our green, angry friend-“ he looked at him and stopped, because the soldier was pale. Very pale. “Rogers?” he called, but the other was staring down at the coffee machine, empty cup still in hand, “You’re awake?” he insisted, grabbing slightly his arm and what happened next probably scared both of them like not even some aliens managed to do. 

Steve flinched at the touch like his hand was burning metal, losing the cup that flied away, smashing on the ground with the power of a nuclear explosion in the chilling silence, making them both jump. In reflex at that, Steve grabbed Tony’s shirt and kept him close, both against the sink, while his heart slowly tried to go back in place. 

“Jesus- how much coffee have you drank already?” Asked Tony, partly bending against him that didn’t let go. 

“Sorry.” 

“I hated that cup anyway…” Tony said, then frowned a bit and grabbed his wrist with more decision. He could feel his pulse and it was running like a train. “Ok, uhm- Cap, what about a tea instead?” 

“No, I- I just woke up.” Steve let him go but his wrist wasn’t going to receive the same gentleness. Moreover, Tony’s grip tightened. 

“Why you’re so nervous?” 

“I’m not.” 

“Steve, your heart is going to explode-“ 

Steve freed himself from him, trying to hide another flinch at those words. “It’s normal, you know that. I was just…” 

“I am up here.” 

Steve closed his eyes on the floor, took a breath and forced himself to look at him, before sigh, looking at the broken cup on the floor, “I’ll clean this mess.” He said, crouching to collect the pieces. 

This couldn’t be end; this couldn’t be the last day they would’ve spend together… this, all this was just impossible. All wrong… 

“Watch out-” 

He blinked in the present again and saw a cut on the palm of his hand. Steve let the other pieces fall, staring at the wound. _I’ll see Tony’s blood on my hands…?_

Tony crouched next to him, covering the hand with a napkin, blocking it with a simple knot. “Steve, you need to calm down.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry- why you’re always sorry? You just cut yourself!” 

“I know.” _I can’t do it anymore_ , Steve was still staring at his injured hand, _Just kill me now with your magical powers, Special Friend, because I give up..._

“Steve, you’re scaring me now.” 

Those words called him back. Steve sadly shook his head, “I am-“

“No, no, shut up. Enough sorry for today.” Tony stopped him, and saw him looking everywhere but at him. “Hey…” he placed both hands at the sides of his head, finally stopping his eyes on himself, “Hey. Calm down and breath.” 

Steve didn’t move. He could only think that he didn’t deserved Tony’s help; he didn’t deserved being so close, or his friendship or… or… 

Tony moved back just slightly, his hands slowly moving through his blonde hair, looking at him, studying him, searching for something in his blue eyes. Tony tried to say something, but then shut his mouth and sighed, both of them staying there, saying nothing. 

And suddenly Steve realized: Tony was waiting. Tony was waiting for something, anything... and right there his heart just dropped to his feet. 

“Steve?” 

_Please, don’t._

Tony was still staring at him, now looking as if he was fighting with himself about doing something or not. 

_Don’t expect anything from me. Not now…_ “I’ll go fix this cut.” Steve said looking down, moving away his hands, standing up and leaving without looking back. 

 

That was the last time he saw Tony that day. He tried to leave his room, thinking about go back in the lab and say something, try to explain something that probably would’ve just confuse the poor inventor even more... So Captain America, never running away from a fight, stayed hidden in his own room until the afternoon. 

It was time. Christopher could’ve appear at any moment… and then what? 

Steve was walking all over the room; desperate, angry, scared… so of course he jumped almost a meter when JARVIS called. 

“Captain Rogers, a call for you from Director Fury.” Warned the AI. 

The soldier took a deep breath and finally opened the door again, walking slowly outside, where he found Tony working on something on the coffee table, in the middle of the hall. 

“Upstairs.” He said, without looking up. 

Steve normally would’ve asked why upstairs, but at the moment he just nodded and walked into the lab. After looking around, Fury’s hologram appeared on the base where Tony used to test the suit. “Director.” 

“Captain. Everything’s alright?” 

_Sure, just going to kill Iron Man, not a big deal_. “Yes. Why, something happened?” 

“We’re not sure…” Fury looked at him with a serious glare, “I would like to show you a situation we are not fully certain we can contain. Mind to pass by at SHIELD tomorrow?” 

“You can’t explain it here?” 

“I’d prefer not to.” 

Steve nodded slowly, unsure about the tomorrow that was waiting for him, but would probably be him going to tell everything to Fury about Christopher and his plan, and probably being arrested, so the call was just in perfect timing. “Of course.” 

“Good. I’ll wait for you in the morning.” That said, Fury disappeared. 

Steve had only the time to sit on a chair and take a breath.

“Really?” Said Tony, arms crossed over his chest, a half surprised, half ironic expression on his face. 

Steve turned around and all the scary, worried feelings came back at full force. 

“You’re going back to SHIELD?” 

“Fury needs to talk to me.” 

“How convenient.” 

Steve knew Tony wasn’t thinking at the same kind of convenient he was thinking about few second before, so… “I don’t think I follow.” 

“Poor me, waiting for a full Captain America speech…” 

“About what?” 

“I don’t know, maybe about all this damn week? About you staying here, being friendly and touchy, saving my life…” 

_Oh no…_

“and after that lovely flight you made this morning, you’ll just grab your things and leave. Amazing.” 

“That was- I didn’t mean to stay away all day, I just-“ 

“You just needed to stay away from me.” 

Steve tried to find the words, but what was the right thing to say? He wasn’t able to see what was real and what was just the act Christopher asked from him anymore.

He didn’t asked for all this, he had never thought about it: someone forced him into it, into all this, and he needed time, he needed time so damn much. Steve just wanted time to clear his mind, time that he didn’t have. Meanwhile, his act become true to Tony… and Christopher knew that he would’ve fell for it from day one. 

Steve couldn’t lie to him anymore. Maybe it was too late, but at least he could stop lying... “Tony, I’m sorry, this-“ 

“Oh, please.” 

“I mean it. I was-“ 

“You were just being polite? That’s what you’re going to say?” Tony interrupted him again and seeing the desperate face of the soldier, he dropped his shoulders, passing both hands on his face. “Steve, this… maybe I imagined things, maybe I like dramas too much, but you…” now even Tony was at a loss for words, and that was something new. “You staying here, following me around, listening to me for hours about things that you don’t even care about- and then what happened in Malibu and today- today I was almost sure about it, and you…” 

Steve was looking down on the floor, but Tony’s confused and tense voice was enough to want to punch himself: he made that. He managed to enter Iron Man's heart and then leave smashing the door closed. 

Tony shook his head, “Steve, this… this is not the ‘40s anymore. If you’re trying to be polite, you have to be clear about it. Right now, I’d really like to know if it was just that or-“ 

“I don’t know.” Steve realized just a second later that he actually said that aloud. He blinked and looked up, “I don’t know.” He said again, shaking his head, and Tony stayed still, silent, his mouth clicking closed a moment later. 

“Sir, I’ve detected a-“ JARVIS’s voice was cut off, same to half of the lights in the floor and the emergency one’s flashed on in the corners of the lab. 

“What the hell?” Tony moved to the computers, checking what was going on. 

Steve jumped up from the chair, looking around and suddenly he felt his blood go ice cold, as if he was drowning in the ocean again. 

“Good evening, gentlemen.” Christopher said from the entrance of the lab, “Sorry for being late, I hope Mr. Stark won’t be offended.” 

Tony turned to look at him, frowning, “Who the fuck are you?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little delay because 1, this chapter HAS to be done right and I couldn't actually do that until now because 2, my first Comic festival happened and it was AMAZING. Making picture with a random Bucky, spotting a creepy Alien, and an amazing zombie girl with the Umbrella team... I think I fell in love with one Ezio Auditore cosplayer *deep breath*  
> *COUGH* Anyway, I'm ready to continue betaing this fic!

Steve kept staring at Christopher in silence, wishing he could just jump on him and punch that face to death. 

Tony was still more confused that actually angry, “Who are you and and how did you get in here?” 

“With determination and courage.” Christopher smiled a bit at the not impressed face Tony made, “Let’s just say that I know how to enter particular places when I need to. And you can call me Christopher. It’s nice to meet you in person, Mr. Stark.” 

“Is it?” 

“Well, I guess it will depends, but Captain Rogers insisted to let us meet at least once…” 

Tony blinked and looked at the other, “You know the man?” 

Again, Steve stayed silent, without looking away from Christopher. 

“I think the Captain is not really in the mood for another chat, at the moment.” Said Christopher with a calm voice. 

“Steve.” Tony walked over the soldier, “You know him?” he asked again and his voice was serious now.

“There is no need to worry. We have just some business to end.” Christopher took something from his pockets. 

“What kind of business?” Asked Tony. 

Christopher looked at him, thoughtfully, “Some business that concern you as well, Mister Stark. It could’ve ended days ago, but the Captain is a bit shy, isn’t he?” 

Steve tightened his fist. 

“Ok, listen here, you better tell me what the hell do you want or it won’t end well for you.” Warned Tony, “Even better, you know what? It won’t end well for you anyway.” 

Christopher just kept smiling, “I would like to see how.” 

Tony looked at the screen next to them, now turned off. He pressed the call for JARVIS on the bracelet on the wrist, but nothing answered. 

“Apologies Mr. Stark, but we turned off your AI for a bit.” 

“How?” 

“That doesn’t concern you. Now… Captain, I’m afraid it’s time.” 

“It’s time for what?” Tony almost roared, looking at Steve, pushing him hard and out from his frozen status, “Why you know each other? What the hell is happening here?!” 

Steve looked at the panic slowly rising all over Tony’s body and voice, and this time he couldn’t help him out. “He wants the arc reactor.” 

Tony flinched back as if he just slapped him with all his Captain America’s strength. Tony suddenly looked at him in pure disbelief, those few words probably helping him to put the entire situation in a new, clear light.

“I’m sorry about all this confusion, Mr. Stark.” Christopher said, “But we needed a plan that wouldn’t have attracted too much attention on ourselves.” He smiled at the soldier, “What could’ve been better than the help from the leader of the Avengers? Captain Rogers really deserves the title.” 

Tony was still staring at the soldier that, on his part, just looked back at him. It was the least he could do. “You’re helping him?” Tony asked, voice now low, “That’s why…? Was everything because of this? To get the reactor? Are you kidding me?” and Steve looking away from him was enough as an answer, “What the- Why? Why you’re helping him?!” Tony roared, grabbing his shirt, but suddenly something hit him on the neck and he slowly started to lose his balance. 

Steve instinctively helped him to the floor, but Tony used the last sparkle of energy to push him away. He looked back at Christopher that was putting something back in his pocket, “What was that?” 

“Don’t worry about it, Captain.” 

“What have you done to him?!” 

“It was just something to help him relax. No need to panic. Not yet.” 

Tony had his back against the desk. He could see and hear everything, but his body was not responding as fast as usual. 

“Captain, five minutes. Don’t make me take it by myself, would you?” he continued, stopping on the entrance, waiting. 

Steve was still next to Tony, down on one knee, unable to look at his friend… his no more friend.

There was nothing he could do now: refusing to take the reactor could save Tony’s life, but three bombs were ready to explode, plus his own heart. Taking the reactor many people would survive, but Tony… Tony didn’t have another reactor there. He said he could resist some time without it, but he didn’t clearly said how much time and he was breathing hard already… This entire situation was probably reminding him of horrible memories. The worst part was that Steve now knew him enough to know that.

“I should’ve known…” Tony said, trying to move away, without success, “All those- friendship bullshits… And I was so blind to- to fall for everything. E-even for you.” He snorted a sarcastic laugh. 

Steve’s fist and lips where sealed thigh. He knew that this moment would be the end of their bond… whatever kind of bond it was. 

“Well d-done. Nat- Natasha will be proud.” 

_She would probably find out everything the first day_ , Steve thought with sadness, never missing the red-haired spy as much as in those days… but he was on his own now, and there was nothing else he could do but end this madness, and hope that Tony would survive. Because if Tony was really going to die…

Steve took a deep breath and moved to take the reactor, finding Tony’s hand there to stop him with the few energy he still had. He forced himself to not look at him and ignore his pleading, just focusing on the reactor. 

“Steve- Steve, don’t do it-” 

Steve grabbed his wrist and held it away, using his other hand to unlock the reactor. He was going to feel sick. 

“You can’t really want to help him… Steve, damn it- listen to me!” 

Once again, the reactor popped out silently, shining in his hand. Steve stared at it with the sudden desire to destroy it, once and for all… Instead, he let Tony go and looked at him: Tony’s eyes were watery and wide open, his lips now just a tight line, but he never looked as sad, scared and betrayed as in that moment. Steve stared back for just a second, then stood up and left without looking back. He couldn’t. That would probably become a new nightmare to add into his list.

Christopher was smiling sadly at him, but he didn’t say anything, just offered a metal little box that he was keeping open in his hand. 

Steve stared at him, “Keep your promises now.” 

“A helicopter will take us away to the facility where your device will be removed.” Christopher said and when he putted the reactor into the box, he nodded and closed it, “And the bombs will be defuse. Come on. They’re coming.” And walked down the stairs. 

Steve followed him in silence until they reached the balcony. Maybe he was in shock. Maybe he was going to faint. He couldn’t hear Tony’s voice anymore… he was dead already? 

“You took the right decision, Captain.” Christopher said, looking at the city, “You saved lots of innocent people today. Probably Mr. Stark will survive too… somehow.”

Steve just stared at his back in silence, feeling like a ghost of himself… then something flashed into his memory: something shining… something gold… a different sky… 

A flash in the distance, over New York. 

He frowned, making some steps ahead. _A different sky…_

A loud thunder broke the silence and made him flinch back, almost losing his balance while the Tower seemed to tremble as well.

Christopher was watching too. “A storm is coming.” 

“Oh, you have no idea…” 

He looked back at the soldier and in a second he was flying against the wall of the tower, smashing on the ground. Incredulous, Christopher looked up at him, trying to stand, and he saw the soldier ready to fight… or more likely, ready to kill. He almost laughed, “Oh Captain… after all this? You want to throw away everything right at the end? I think you should calm down and rethink about it.” 

“I already did.” Steve was smiling too now, his usual little grin, but there was also relief, and resolution, “And I think I’ve found a flaw in your _not_ so perfect plan.”

**.-.-.**  
_Steve was sure to be still into the ocean, dying under the rubble of Tony’s house, but in a time that could’ve been a second, or hours, something happened… and voices where back around him_...

“I know is against the rules, but something needed to be done.” A deep, manly voice.

“And you are sure he is a friend?” A woman’s voice.

“Yes. I have already explained to him what was happening to this man, in his world. I thought he needed to know.” 

A sigh, “Maybe, but taking him here like this- oh, you’re here already.” 

“I have come faster than I could. Is he hurt?” another voice. Another man…

“Yes, but something was working on him. Something strange… I can still sense it.” Said the first man.

“Magic?” The new voice wasn’t unknown… he heard it already…

“I’m not sure.” 

“This can’t be good... Captain? Captain, wake up.” 

Steve closed his eyes even harder before slowly open them over a sky that almost scared him: he could see millions shades of colors and stars and strange creatures flying high above him and… planets?

He jumped, sitting up, and put a hand on his stomach with a groan of pain at the movement. He then looked up, finding a woman in a shining, elegant, metal armor, long brown hair and an unsure expression on her face. Someone crouched next to him and he flinched a bit. Just for the second it took him to recognize the man. 

Thor smiled worried at him, covered in a long, sandy-colored cape, “You’re safe here, my friend.” 

Steve tried to say something, looking at the woman again and then at the man close to her, elder than them, with bright golden eyes and dark skin partly hidden under the same type of armor and a giant helmet. He then felt a pang of pain again, looking at his bloodied shirt for a moment, then back at them, “I- where am I?” 

“You have entered the Asgard realm.” Said the unknown man in a serious, impassible voice. 

“Asgard…?” 

“My home.” Nodded Thor, covering him with his cape and Steve noticed only then that he was completely soaked in salty water, “I know is probably a surprise for you… it is also for me, but-“

“I can’t stay here.” Steve stood up in a fast, single movement, almost falling again but Thor and the woman kept him up, “I- I have to go back…” 

“Captain, we should-”

“I need to go back! I shouldn’t be here, he-” Steve stopped, starting to feel sick thinking about the consequences of this trip to another dimension, “Thor, why I’m here? Why did you-“ 

“I have brought you here.” Said the other man, stepping closer, “I am Heimdall, the sentry of the Bifrost and the bridge that connect Asgard with the other realms-” 

“Then use it to send me back! I can’t stay here!” Shot back Steve and both, Thor and the woman looked at him a bit surprised, because if Thor had never heard him talk like that, the woman saw a very few people talk to Heimdall like that in the first place.

Despite the tone, though, Heimdall did not flinched, staring at him with a serious face. “I know what you fear, but you have no reason to be afraid here.” 

“Heimdall told me what happened to you.” Nodded Thor and the soldier looked back at him, “He told me that someone put you in a not easy situation. That those people asked you to hurt Stark, and that you were trying to find a way to avoid doing so.” 

Steve felt the tension rise, “I can’t- if they’ll know that someone knows about them…” 

“I saw that too.” Said Heimdall, “But you don’t have to worry about it. There is no way that they can control you here.” 

Thor nodded, still helping him to stand, “I doubt they have powers strong enough to work through different dimensions. You are safe here, Captain.” 

Steve looked at him, waiting for another flash of pain in his heart, the well-known warning, but nothing came, only the pain from the gunshot wounds he still had… and a proud little smile appeared on Odin’s son face. He closed his eyes, feeling like being able to breathe again, but it didn’t last long because the other hugged him all of sudden. 

“Fear not, my friend! We will help you to deal with these filthy men with no honor that threatened you.” Thor said and then let him go, hitting the back of his shoulder with a slap that would’ve probably break it if he was a normal human being. 

 

They left the Bifrost right away, but Steve couldn’t stop from looking back at the golden Observatory, and it’s circular ceiling that was spinning slowly. Steve stared at the structure for another moment, then the shining floor caught his attention: was like walking over a rainbow made of glass, shining at any light. 

“It’s a shame that you came to visit Asgard in such hard times.” Smiled Thor, waiting for him, rising a hand in salute to Heimdall that was watching them from the Observatory.

“I feel like I don’t even have time to be actually amazed by all this.” Nodded Steve, still looking at the colors and lights of the bridge, then up at the city, and nervously at the God again, “I really should go back... if you know what is happening there…”

“The time won’t be a problem, but we’ll try to be quick. This way. We’ll stop right at the other side of the Bridge.” 

“No tour of the Castle?” Steve commented ironically. 

“Maybe another time. Better if my father will not know about your arrive here.” Said Thor, looking worried at the castle in the distance.

“A God’s wrath is just what I need right now…” Steve sighed, following him.

Once they reached one of the building closer to the beginning of the Bifrost Bridge, Steve looked amazed at the place, feeling like he was dreaming: he had just traveled through the dimension and not only he was still alive and in one piece, but he was being healed by alien magic and potions from beautiful Asgardians women. 

After they finished taking care on his injures, all of them politely smiled and left the room. 

Steve was sitting on the edge of a gigantic bed, with only his trousers on, a big bandage all over his chest. He passed a hand where the gunshot wounds were, still feeling pain, and took a deep breath, thinking about what happened in his world, wondering if Tony was ok, if Christopher gave up on his plan, maybe thinking that he was dead in the attack… or if someone was searching for him into the ocean once again.

Someone knocked at the door and he stood, “Come in.” he felt stupid saying it, as if he was in a normal hotel, but he wasn’t sure about how to be polite in another world. 

The woman with long brown hair was at the door, nodding a little salute before walking to him with some clothes in hand, “Here. This may help you feel more… comfortable.” She said, watching him up and down.

“Thank you.” Steve smiled taking the long white shirt, feeling it so soft on his skin that almost made him sigh again. He then looked at her, trying to compose himself, “Steve Rogers.” He said, offering a hand. 

She looked at it and took it, “Lady Sif.” 

“You’re Thor’s… friend?” 

She nodded, “We’ve been friends since we were little kids.” 

Steve nodded in interest, then looked down at her sword, “You’re a soldier? A… a knight? I mean…” 

Lady Sif smiled patiently, “I am. I’ve fought along with Thor in many battles.” 

“I see… Sorry to bother you about this.” Steve said touching the shirt he just put on. 

“Is not a problem. Thor was probably ready to take it to you himself.” 

“He- he shouldn’t. He don’t need to-“ 

“MY FRIEND, there is some food for you.” Boomed Thor from the entrance, smiling with a big dish full of the said food and Steve just sighed, shaking his head, “Something’s wrong?” the God of Thunder asked, looking between him and her. 

“Your friend is just a bit shy.” Commented Sif with a little smile, taking a step back. 

“I’m not, but… thanks, but I’m ok, really.” Said Steve while Thor placed the big dish on the closest table. 

“You are not ok, Captain. What is happening to you in Midgard is worrying me.” Said Thor, his long blonde hair now kept together on his back with a lace. His glare was solemn, even handing him a glass and something similar to a sandwich. 

Steve still wasn’t sure talking about that, but if Christopher could keep him at his leash even there in Asgard, then there was really no hope. “It was something I wasn’t ready for.” He said, taking the glass and drinking a sip of the sweet liquid, probably some kind of fruit juice.

Thor nodded slowly, and then turned around, “Sif, if you don’t mind…” 

“She can stay.” Steve said, before she could leave, “I have nothing to hide from you and your friends. You probably saved my life.” He smiled a bit at her before sitting down on the bed again, looking back at Thor, “So… what did you know?” 

“Well, Heimdall can see everything and everywhere, and I think he sensed something and found out what was happening to you. He usually don’t act on his own…” 

“He rarely interfere in the other dimensions.” Added Sif.

Thor nodded, “But he said that the situation was suddenly very dangerous for you and for Stark.” 

“We were under attack.” Confirmed Steve suddenly, “Someone destroyed Tony’s house… but they weren’t the same people that threatened me.” 

“Who were they, then?” 

“I don’t know. They asked for Tony’s weapons but he refused and… and we tried to fight back.” He sighed, “It didn’t ended well for us.” 

Thor was listening carefully, arms crossed on his chest, “Heimdall told me that who threatened you, asked you to steal something from Stark. Something important?” 

“His reactor.” He saw Thor frowning, “Have you seen those lights over his chest? Under his shirt?” 

“Oh… I thought that was some kind of Midgardians fashion.” 

Steve huffed a laugh, “No. That’s the reactor they asked me to steal. It works with an element Tony created himself… it’s a device very important for him.” 

“How much important?” Asked Sif. 

“His life depends on it.” 

“And they bonded you to it in some way.” Continued Thor, “You are forced to stay close to him, correct?” 

“Yes...” 

“That’s smart.” Commented Sif and both the men looked at her, “And terrible, of course.” She added quickly. 

“It is.” Steve sighed, “I don’t know how, but they can control me all the time, whenever I am.” 

“You mean like they use spies?”

“Probably. Strange thing is, they know even things that they shouldn’t. When I was with Tony inside the house, he showed me how to take the reactor from his chest, and they knew it right away.” 

“Maybe they were watching from outside?” Said Thor. 

Steve was already shaking his head, “We were downstairs, in Tony’s lab… inside Tony’s house. There is no way that someone could’ve seen us there.” 

Thor thought for a moment, “It must be a very strong control they can use on you…” 

“They’ve placed a device on me. That’s what can kill me if I don’t stay close to Tony…” Steve placed a hand over his heart, “I’m still surprised I’m not dead yet.” 

“A device like Stark’s?” Asked Thor. 

“No, not like that, but… it’s under my skin. And apparently they can control it too.” He sighed.

“It probably won’t work here in Asgard… mind if Sif take a look?” Thor said seriously, and she nodded, probably thinking the same thing. 

“A look? How?” Steve asked. 

“It won’t hurt, don’t worry.” She stopped in front of him, “Where this device should be?” 

“Right over my heart.” 

She nodded and placed a hand on his chest, closing her eyes for a moment, then frowned, “It’s very old technology… I am surprised it can do so much damage.” She said, making Thor smile a bit. 

“As long that it works…” Steve sighed, sadly. 

When she lowered her hand, she was still frowning. 

“What is it?” Asked Thor, coming closer. 

“There is no magic in that thing. I doubt it is connected to any kind of magic at all...” 

"Well, that's good..." Steve saw her face stay serious, "Isn't it?" 

"Maybe." She looked at him, “Or maybe this is not the real problem… this could be only a part of the connection.” 

Steve looked seriously at her, “I wouldn’t be surprised to know that there’s something more they haven’t told me.” 

Lady Sif nodded slowly, “If you are connected to your friend, you’re connected to something else as well... or would be more correct to say that something can be connected to you in other ways. That would explain how they can spy on you even when they couldn’t.” 

“Other ways like… what? Reading my mind?” Steve snorted an ironic laugh, but the looks on the two Asgardians made him stop, “It’s… that’s not possible, right?” 

“You are in another dimension, talking to a God…” Commented Sif and Thor nodded with a shrug. 

“Ok, hold on… you’re actually saying that they can read my mind? People in my world can spy on me through my own mind?” 

“Is not a so strange ability here.” Said Sif, crossing her arms. 

“Sometimes it should be…” Murmured Thor, like he was remembering something, not very pleased. 

Steve blinked, then dropped his face into his hands for a moment, “So that’s how they knew it? How they knew everything all the time…” He shook his head and stood up, walking all over the room, thinking about the bomb at the bank, “How am I supposed to fight something like this? They will be a step ahead every time.” 

“The device over your heart is not working now, and I doubt they can control your mind here either, or know that you’re here.” Pointed out Sif. 

“So we can remove the thing from your body.” Nodded Thor

Steve thought for a moment, then shook his head, “No… no I can’t remove it yet. Once back in Midgard- on Earth, in America, they will know that they can’t control me anymore and they will kill people all over the city.” 

Thor’s glare become serious, “That is their threat against you, I presume?” 

Steve nodded sadly, “They have hidden bombs in different places around New York City. If I talk to someone, if someone finds out what I have to do, one of the bomb will explode. One already did.” 

“Why? Someone knows, then?” 

“No, but I… I almost told everything to Bruce. Doctor Banner. It was a bad moment… I hadn’t realized how much serious the situation was yet…” Steve sat on a chair close to the balcony, “I just _thought_ about tell him everything. I didn’t, but they knew it and people died because of me.” He shook his head, looking down. 

Thor shared a look with Sif that nodded, so he moved closer to the soldier, “You can’t deal with all this by yourself. Heimdall saved you for a reason. We can help, and we will.” 

“I appreciate what you’ve done for me, but you can’t help. They’ll know. The moment I’ll be back home, they’ll read my mind again and they’ll know whatever we will plan to do.” Steve looked at him with no idea of what to do. 

There was a moment of silence, then Sif said, “Then you’ll need to forget about it.” 

Steve frowned, “What?” 

“She is right,” Thor nodded, smiling, “You can’t think about something you can’t remember.” 

“But… how?” 

“Let us talk to someone. I’m sure we can find the help we need.” Said Lady Sif, walking away with Thor. 

Steve tried to say something, but they were gone already, “Ok…” he sighed, looking outside, the Asgardian lands shining under the sunset

 

Thor and Lady Sif marched back into the room soon enough, when Steve was on the balcony, nervously walking left to right, and the God of Thunder was smiling proudly, “My friend, we have a plan.” 

“Just tell me what I need to do.” Steve said, walking inside, waiting. Hoping. 

“Me and Sif will take care of the bombs. Heimdall can show us the places from your memory… He said they showed you where they are located.” Said Thor. 

“Yeah…” Steve remembered about Christopher showing the tablet with the places where the bombs should have been, the day the nightmare started, “He saw that too?” 

The two Asgardians nodded vigorously, “We’ll find them and destroy them, so you will be able to fight back the enemy.” 

“And if there really is someone working magic against you, we can sense it and stop it.” Said Sif, “We are more sensible to magic. If this person is close enough, we’ll find him.” 

Steve allowed himself to hope again, “What about my mind controlled when I’ll go back?” 

“That… well, we have a solution for that as well.” Said Thor. 

“You don’t sound so sure.” Commented Steve.

“The only way to make the plan work is making you forget about it.” Sif explained, “But we won’t erase the memories of our meeting, just block them. We have someone that can do that. You won’t remember about it until will be the right moment to unlock them, which should be after we’ll take care of the bombs.” 

“Unlock them…?” 

She nodded, “You’ll need something, some kind of sign that will make you remember.” 

Steve thought for a moment, “And you can do that? Change- block my memory and unlock it when you want?” 

“Yes.” Thor smiled, “Not us, but we found who can. It won’t be even dangerous or painful.”

Steve nodded slowly, thinking about it. “It can’t be too soon or they’ll know about you… and not too late either, to allow me to save Tony…” he looked at them, “If you two will take care of the bombs and who is spying on me, I’ll probably have to deal with Christopher- he is one of them, the one that kidnapped me from the beginning.” He explained at the confused look of the two. 

“We’ll need something to let you know that we made it and make you remember.” Said Thor, wondering, then smiling, “I think I already know what we can use. Leave it to me.” 

“Alright… but what if you fail?” 

“We never fail.” Said the two warriors together with the same pleased smile. 

“I know, but I can’t risk it. Not this time.” Steve suddenly thought about a moment in Tony’s house... He looked up at them, “Tony was terrified the first time I tried to touch the reactor… if something like that will happen again, I’ll need to remember.” 

“Captain, you wouldn’t-“ 

“I will, Thor.” He stopped him, “I know myself. I won’t let people die because of my mistakes.” He took a deep breath, looking at him, “If you two will manage to stop the bombs, it will be enough. But if it’ll take you too long and I’ll have to take the reactor from him…in that case, I need to remember and- try to do something, to get it back soon as possible.” 

“You will try to fight that man anyway?” Asked Sif.

Steve thought for a moment, then simply said, “I can’t let Tony die because of me.” 

Thor looked seriously at him, “I understand your fears, but we will be there, and we won’t disappoint you. Trust us.” 

Steve smiled a bit and nodded, with a new hope in his eyes, “Time to go back home, then.” 

 

A few moments later, Steve was ready to wear his still wet and bloodied shirt again. Once at the end of the Bifrost Bridge, he slowly started to unwrap the bandage around his torso when they were all inside the Observatory, not without flashes of pain. The wounds were mostly close, but the skin was still red and delicate, ready to break again. 

“You’re sure you won’t die bleeding?” Asked Thor, trying to help, staring worried at the wounds. 

“Yeah… they’ll heal.” Nodded Steve. 

“Your powers works better here.” Said Heimdall, “But in your world will be different, until you’ll be free from their control.” 

“I’ve survived a war, I’ll survive this too.” Steve putted on the dirty shirt and took a deep breath, shivering at the contact with the cold, wet fabric, “Where you’re going to throw me?” 

“Where they are searching for you.” Heimdall stopped on the platform at the center of the Observatory, “Some hours will be passed.” 

Steve nodded and saw Lady Sif enter with a young girl wearing a purple tunic. 

“She’s Meryn.” Sif said, “She will block your memories.” 

“She’s one of the most powerful young priestess in our city, and she is very precise working through the memories of others.” Explained Thor.

Steve smiled a bit, “Thanks for the help, Meryn.” 

The little girl nodded, moving away her long blonde hair form her dark eyes. 

Thor looked at everyone and said, “Very well. We are ready, then.” 

Steve moved closer to Heimdall, “I think I should thank you. Sorry if I haven’t done it before.”

“There is no need to apologize. The situation was becoming out of mortal control, and I decided it was fair to help one of Thor allies.” 

“And that decision will cost you something, I guess?” Steve watched him stare back in a serious silence, so he nodded at himself, “Hope it will be worth it.” He sighed, and saw Meryn come to stand next to him. 

“Better if you sit down.” Said the little girl and he obeyed, kneeling in front of her. She put her hands over his eyes, “Show me the memory you have chosen that will unlock the others.” And Steve remembered again Tony’s scared and tense face when he stopped him. Meryn nodded and closed her eyes.

“Be ready for our signal of victory.” Thor said, moving away from them, standing next to Sif. 

“How am I going to recognize it?”

“You will, don’t worry. Meryn already know what to do.” 

Steve nodded once, trying to stay still and calm under Meryn’s hand.

“You don’t remember how you end up here, Captain,” Said Heimdall, “but you were into the ocean, and I will place you there where I picked you. Your friends will be there waiting for you. Take a deep breath.” 

“We’ll be there soon.” Said Thor, “They will regret having tried to fight against us.” 

_Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to be ready for the cold water, but suddenly his mind was blocked and the last thing he knew, he was falling into the void._  
**-.-.-.-**

 

Christopher was watching at him in confusion now, then looked back at the point where he saw the thunder. “What…? What are you saying?” he asked to someone, “That’s impossible! They- answer me!” he roared and suddenly looked back at the soldier.

“I guess _my_ special friends are keeping yours busy, uh?” 

“That is where you were…? That’s why she couldn’t find you after the attack at the mansion…”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Now…” Steve stepped closer, hovering over him with a murderous glare, “Give me back the reactor.” 

“It can’t be…” 

“Give it back.” 

Christopher stood up and now there was anger on his face, “She would’ve recognized them coming from another dimension, it’s- this is impossible!” 

“Your friend isn’t so special, after all.” 

“YOU…” Christopher frowned a bit, “You- how did you traveled to them?” 

“Give me the reactor.” 

“HOW?” 

Steve punched him in the face, “I had more than enough of you… and your special friend.” 

Christopher passed a hand under his bleeding nose, trying to stand again, “You think it’s over? That you won? You have just condemned hundreds of people to die!” he said and grabbed his phone, pushing some button.

The city stayed silent, no explosion appeared. Steve didn’t even turned to look, staring at him with a tired grin, “You’re sure about that?” 

Christopher was probably feeling like Steve had felt during all that last week.

“Perks of having a God as a friend: he don’t fear bombs or _special people_.” Steve said, grabbing him by his jacket, “You’ve lost. Now give me back the reactor. I won’t ask you nicely again.” 

“You’re forgetting something, Captain.” 

“I’m not,” Steve said coldly: he was already feeling pain spreading in his chest, however, that was nothing compared to every seconds Tony was staying without the reactor, “but now I have no reason to care about it.” He tightened the grip on his jacket and punched him again. 

“You will die… and Stark too…” laughed Christopher, now with a cut on his cheek. 

“It’s Mr. Stark for you.” Steve hissed and punched him one more time, in anger and pain, then he heard a helicopter getting closer and closer, until it appeared a moment later in front of the balcony. “Your special friend is there?” 

Christopher coughed through the blood in his mouth, “Don’t worry… she’s not the only one- that can kill you.” He said and suddenly the helicopter’s door slid open and the people inside started shooting. Christopher hit him with his head and kicked him away while wimping closer to the edge while Steve rolled and jumped behind a little metal table that saved him from the bullets.

Steve saw the helicopter descending to take away Christopher: he grabbed the table and throw it at the vehicle that suddenly flied meters away just when Christopher was going to jump into it. 

Steve saw him fall and grab the edges of the tower while the helicopter flied away. He ran to him and managed to grasp his jacket just in time, on the back of his neck, keeping him suspended into the void, but the pain in his chest was getting worse. 

Christopher looked down, and then up at him, “Well played, Captain.” He said with a little smile, just before his body slid away from the jacket, falling into his death. 

Steve stood there, watching down for an incredulous moment, then he grabbed the jacket, frantically checking in the pockets until he found the metal box and there was the reactor, still shining, safe and working. He took a deep breath of relief, trying to contain a moan of pain, leaving jacket and box there and quickly walk back inside. 

The pain on his heart was making hard for him to breathe; even being so close to Tony… could be that he was dead already?

Steve reached the entrance of the lab, finding Tony laying under the desk, on his stomach, breathing hard almost as he was. “Tony…” he lowered next to him and turned him: he was pale, sweating, eyes closed, “I’m so sorry…” he took the reactor and tried to put it back in place, but Tony decided to open his eyes and start to go crazy, punching and kicking. “Tony, let me- I just want to help!” Steve didn’t want to restrain him again, but he had to: he stopped his arms again, moving aside the shirt and slowly put the reactor in his chest until it clicked in place. Steve sighed, while Tony slowly stopped moving, staring at him, “I’m sorry.” He said again, letting him go. 

Tony didn’t say anything, but kicked him away after a moment, crawling away from him. 

Steve fell back, managing only to stay on his side before the pain hit the limit point: he grasped the fabric over his heart and closed his eyes. He could only think that he deserved it, while hearing Tony talking and more lights come back on again. 

“The system has been restored and the Tower is now locked.” Said JARVIS.

“Good… don’t- don’t let anyone leave- or enter.” Tony’s voice was still unsteady, but was nice to hear it, hear him alive. “Call Fury… Rogers has to be locked up. Arrested… whatever it fits better.” 

“He may want to know the reason for such request.” 

“Look at me: do I look like I was having fun here? Tell him he tried to kill me and sell away the arc reactor.” 

There was only silence, JARVIS probably making the report as he ordered.

Steve didn’t have the energy to say anything. He tried to stand, just to fall down on his back, now impossible to keep down the whimpers of pain. It was like someone was slowly trying to took away his heart bare hands… hands with claws. 

“Sir, a medical support for Captain Rogers would be required?” 

“No, let him be.” 

Steve heard the voice closer and then some steps walking away. Tony was leaving. 

“From his vitals, Captain Rogers is close to have a heart attack.” 

“I said LET HIM BE.” He roared from afar. 

_A heart attack would probably hurt less_ , Steve thought and wow, was he screaming just now? That was bad… He could only keep whining, eyes closed over the terrible pain slowly spreading all over his body, until he felt someone next to him and he tried to open them a bit, just to see Tony’s cold glare while he was kneeling there. 

Steve would’ve give everything to talk, to say what really was happening, why he betrayed him like that, why he had to take the reactor… but he managed only to cry in pain even more. 

“What is it, your friend betrayed you?” asked Tony, “It sucks, isn’t it?” 

_I know… I deserve it…_

“I should pity you? Because that psycho shot you or something? You almost killed me.” 

_I can’t ask for anything, but..._

“So what now? You want to say another shitty sorry of yours again?” 

_...but it hurts so much…_

“Sir, Captain Rogers’s conditions are getting worse.” Said JARVIS and right after that, Steve screamed like someone just stabbed him right there on the spot and started to spin the knife in his flesh.

“Steve.” 

The scream descended to a desperate cry of pain. 

“Look at me.” Tony grabbed him from his shirt and Steve forced himself to comply, curled on one side. “What is it?” he asked, and he looked so unsure, so not ready to trust him… 

“Sir, a scan of his physical condition could be-“

Steve missed the rest of JARVIS’s sentence in another scream of pain. He couldn’t talk through the pain, so he slowly grabbed Tony’s wrist and placed his hand over his own heart. 

Tony flinched at the contact, but then he waited, looking between his hand and the soldier’s face. 

“L-let him.” was all Steve managed to say.

Tony was staring at him, watching down, listening to his heart and then said, “JARVIS, do that scan.” A tin line of light instantly passed over the soldier’s form. After a second, there was a hologram of him just above himself. Tony looked at it, searching for something that he found after a moment, “J, what is that?” he said looking at the little thing over the Captain’s heart. 

“It seems to be some kind of device.” 

“I can see that. What is it? Why is there?” 

“It’s regulating Captain Roger’s blood pressure. Also it seems to have a self-destruction and poisoning function.” 

“Poison?” 

“The device keep infecting his blood from his heart.” Said JARVIS, “Based on the type of poison and the amount of it already circulating in his blood, Captain Rogers have around thirty minutes before a cardiac arrest.” And like to confirm that, the soldier screamed again.

Tony kept staring at the scan, then down at Steve crying in pain. “What the hell happened to you…?” he asked slowly, now worried and angry, “Steve, what have you done?”

Steve could only tighten the grip on his wrist, as if he could understand he was saying another one of his stupid, useless sorry. Instead, the pain kept rising, feeling the invisible claws slowly tearing his skin, inch by inch, and from there he just shut his eyes and kept screaming, and screaming.

.  
.  
.

Did I ever said that I love to mess with the plot? Because I really love to mess with the plot. (and yes, the *.-.-.* part is a flashback. I thought to say it because I'm always worried that won't be clear ._. ) Also, I know Sif is her name, but sometimes I just call her Lady Sif... oh well. It's her anyway.  
Any thoughts about the story is welcome!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: this chapter is actually a bonus, because I wrote it some days ago, in one night, but I wasn't sure to add it to the fic or not because it change POV from Steve's to the others, mostly to Tony's (and who am I to say no to some more #TonyAngst)... well, turns out that it will be another chapter, after all.  
> Not fun fact: the new chapter have probably changed my mood about the ending I already wrote. Well, sh*t...

Bruce was not sure of many things; insecurity was part of him, he knew that well, but he was sure about one thing those days: something was wrong with Steve Rogers. 

From the day he found him outside the elevator, at the Stark Tower, in pain like someone just shot him, he was sure that something was wrong, that he _missed_ something… but Steve said he was fine, he looked fine and Bruce just thought that maybe he was overreacting. He was Captain America, after all, if he says that he was fine, he sure was.

Still… when Bruce heard a massive thunder rumbling over the city, the first thing he did was to run outside the shop he was in and search for the Stark Tower: if the helicopter that was approaching the top of it wasn’t enough to alarm him, watching that said helicopter being hit by something and fly away, almost colliding with another building, was what he needed to start running. 

His thoughts ran immediately to Steve, wondering what could’ve happened there, what he missed, what he hadn’t seen… 

Bruce slowed down seeing the entrance of the tower and a table destroyed on the street close by, almost sure to have seen that kind of table on the balcony at the top floor. Looking up, the helicopter was gone, even if it was still possible hear it in the distance. 

“Watch out!” 

Bruce turned around just in time to see a body crashing on a car, hearing people screaming and running away while the alarm started echoing thorough the street. He ran to see who it was, praying not to find Tony or Steve’s body, already feeling his heart hammering into his chest, the other guy ready to destroy who could’ve hurt them like that… 

Then he stopped: the man, or what remained of it, wasn’t one of his friends, he didn’t know him.

Bruce breathed hard, then blinked in alarm, “JARVIS…” he turned to run to the entrance of the building, through the last people that were trying to escape outside. He entered, looking around, just in time before the tower closed itself. He knew the alarm protocol: no one leave, no one enter. 

“Doctor Banner!” 

He looked at the woman running to him, an employee of the Stark Industries, from the badge on her shirt. “What happened?” 

“The Tower was under attack… we saw a helicopter trying to land- without permission. Mister Stark-“ 

“He’s still up there?” 

“I- I think he was. We can’t communicate with the top floor… there’s still people inside…” She was so frantically trying to give him information without panic… 

“It’s ok. Tell the others to stay here, wait for the doors to open. Tony wouldn’t lock all of you in here without a good reason. I’ll go check for him, you all stay here, ok?” and after she nodded, he ran to the elevator, finding them out service, of course. 

Bruce sighed and moved to the stairs: that would be a nice run... 

He kept climbing, one step at the time, the other guy always creeping on his back, pushing him to go faster, and he was moving actually faster than normal. Bruce stopped at the 15th floor, trying to regain some oxygen, and looked outside the window, noticing two things: in the reflex on the window, his eyes were bright green, and another helicopter was approaching the tower… but this time was SHIELD. 

Bruce took some deep breath and started running again until he finally reached the top floor: entering the hall, screams were the first thing he heard.  
He walked inside, looking around, the SHIELD’s agents running upstairs, from where the screaming were coming… but it wasn’t Tony: the man himself was down there, at the end of the stairs, pale and a bit sweaty, breathing hard and- was he shivering? “Tony… hey.” He said, but he didn’t moved, keep looking upstairs in fear and confusion, “Tony, what happened?” and another terrible scream almost scared the poor doctor, “What- is that-?“ 

“It’s Steve.” 

Bruce looked back at Tony, and all the fears he had tried to forget crashed back on him. 

“It’s- Steve is... He doesn’t stop- he can’t… I think he can’t, he…” 

“Tell me what happened, ok?” he shook him a bit, “Tony!” 

Finally, Tony blinked, looking down and then at him, like he noticed it was him only then, “Bruce, he…” 

“He’s hurt?” 

Tony grabbed his jacket, ready to tear it apart, “Go upstairs. They will need you. I can’t- I can’t do anything.” 

“But-“ 

More screams, this time mixed with a cry of pure agony. 

“PLEASE.” Tony’s eyes were watery, but also demanding, “Go in there. He trusts you. He- he needs help.” 

Bruce never saw Tony looking like that, so angry, but also desperate. “Ok.” He said quietly and ran upstairs with the other agents. 

Tony stayed there, making some step back, staring at the floor above as if his whole life just ended there.  
He didn’t moved for almost an half an hour, never looking away from the lab and no one apparently wanted to try to talk to him: he waited, standing there, doing nothing. Just waiting.  
Until Bruce finally came back to him. 

“We need to use the lab.” He said. He wasn’t wearing the jacket anymore, “And JARVIS… can we use the-“ 

“Use everything you need. Just tell JARIVS what to do. You’re in charge in there now.” 

“Ok… I’ll need to close the lab until we’ve finished-” 

“Finished what?” 

“The operation. He- Steve need to be operated right away.” Bruce said and if Tony was on in edge of a collapse, that just putted him even closer to it. The Doctor took a breath and said, “You saw that thing over his heart on the scan, did you?” 

“Yes…“ 

“And you know what could happen if we don’t-“ Bruce stopped, took a deep breath, then start again, “We’ll talk about it later. Steve is already poisoned and nothing against the pain works for him, that’s why he’s still screaming. JARVIS managed to lock the signal of the device, but we don’t know for how long or if and when Steve will be safe. His heart could…” 

“His heart could explode.” 

Bruce didn’t liked that empty voice, but he couldn’t focus on Tony with Steve screaming and dying upstairs, “JARVIS and SHIELD are working on it, trying to track down the signal, and whoever did this to him, hopefully. Tony- Tony, listen to me for a sec?” he grabbed his arm because, Steve or not, he just could stand to see him in that state, after all, “JARVIS told me what happened to you. I need your blood.” 

At first, Tony tried to break free, just for a second, “My blood? Why?”

“Because you were drugged and because you stayed without the reactor for some time. I’ll let JARVIS check on you, but we need to know what they used on you.” 

“I’m fine, can you just go back in there and-”

“I will, but I can’t help Steve if you’re going to feel sick too.” Bruce insisted, his grip irremovable, eyes still with some shades of green.

Tony took a breath and nodded, watching him take a syringe from his shirt’s pocket and use it on his arm, his own blood flowing inside. 

“Ok. Now, keep this on it…” Bruce said, taking his hand to keep a napkin in place to stop the bleeding, “and please, sit down. Drink some water if you can, and be sure that the reactor is ok.”

“I told you I’m fine.” 

“You’re not, you’re still in shock, but Steve’s worse right now.” 

“Then go help him.” 

Bruce stared at him for a moment, until he nodded slightly and ran back upstairs.

Tony stared at the windows of the lab, at the people in there and when he glass become gray, he blinked as if someone just slapped him. He looked down, moving almost mechanically, until he sat, or fell, on the couch. “JARVIS.” 

“Sir.” 

“Tell me if something happen during the operation.” He throw the napkin away and placed a hand on the reactor, grasping hard the edges with his nails, “And find whoever done all this.” He added in a low, angry voice. 

“Already working on it.” Was the answer from the AI. 

Tony closed his eyes and then dropped the head on his hands, keeping down a scream only because Steve’s were already more than enough.

 

Another hour passed since the operation started, and more screams filled the top floor of the Stark Tower.  
Most of it was unlocked by then, but little groups of SHIELD’s agents were checking on every floor; all the rest of the employee were gone. The only zone still locked was the top floor.

Tony was still sat on the couch, staring at the floor, looking up every time he heard something from the lab, flinching at every sudden scream, but only once or twice someone of the SHIELD team left or entered. 

The operation was still going after two hours. The glass walls of the lab still gray, hiding everything that was happening inside. 

Fury called once, demanding answers, but Tony only said that he didn’t know anything and probably his voice had something different, because the Director stayed silent for a moment and then said that he would’ve sent more agents to keep the tower safe and some other member of the scientific and medical sector. 

Everyone was waiting. There was nothing else they could do.  
Until the end of the second hour. 

Tony was in the hall, after kicking out from the floor who wasn’t there to help in lab, when he heard something from outside. He looked at the balcony and a flash forced him to close his eyes for a second. 

In that second, Thor in person appeared outside. The God of Thunder looked inside and spotted him right away. He entered the tower with his cape floating in the movement, “Where is the Captain? Is he ok?” 

Tony stood up, looking at him in confusion. “How you know that he’s-“ Tony stopped, staring better at him, some scratches on his face, the cape dirty and with some dark stain. “You’re into this too?” 

“We had to help. The Captain was-” Thor was in front of him by then, and the punch he received just made him blink in slight surprise. 

“Shit-” Tony hissed, grabbing his own pained hand, then looked back at him, “HOW? How you’re into this?” 

“It’s a long story, but I think the Captain should explain himself for everything.” 

“HE CAN’T. He’s being operated right now, you don’t know that too? They’re trying to save his life, because apparently the damn Gods were busy somewhere else!” 

“I can assure you, we knew the risks. We couldn’t do more than this.” 

“If you knew it, why you didn’t just remove that thing from his body?!” Roared Tony, and another scream came from inside the lab, as if responding to his rage.

“It- it was more complicated than it seems.” Thor said, looking away from the lab with an apprehensive glare, “I know you are worried for him, I am too, but the situation was not easy. Everything Captain Rogers did, he did it to save your life, and the life of many innocents.” 

Tony was going to lose his mind, he could feel it. “Thor, I swear, if you don’t start talking right now-“ 

“I will.” Said Clint, coming out from the elevator, along with a woman, both of them covered in dirt and the poor arched was limping a bit, a hand on his shoulder.

Thor sighed in relief, “Glad to see you both well.” 

“She’s…” Tony frowned, looking at the woman, “She’s you friend… she’s Asgardian?” 

Thor nodded, “Sif, this is Tony Stark.” He said then looked at her clothes and frowned, “Where’s your sword?” 

Lady Sif sighed, looking down at the dark jeans and shirt that she was wearing, “Clint insisted that a camouflage would be helpful during our mission. And he was right.” She sighed at the smug face the archer made. 

“Ok, guys, and lady… I’m going to kick all of you out of here if no one starts to explain something.” Interrupted Tony, “I can’t- I’m going to break my other hand on the God’s face, I swear.” 

“There is no need.” Said Thor, patiently. 

“Someone was threatening Steve.” Said Clint, more serious now, “Someone that I hope I’ll be able to interrogate myself.” 

Tony was staring intently at him, “Because of my reactor.” 

“More precisely, they wanted the element inside of it.” Clint sighed, “It was an elaborate plan, I’ll give them that. Here…” he took something from inside his jacket and handed it to him. 

Tony stared at the three pieces of metal, each one with few wires attached to it, then he looked back at the spy, “Bombs?” 

“Bombs.” Clint and Sif nodded. 

“They kept the Captain under their control with those bombs as a threat, placed all around your city.” She continued, “Plus, some… interesting enemy that required our help to be stopped.” She added, looking at Thor. 

The God nodded sadly, “They were spying on him, and not only with mortal methods. A girl with powers similar to my brother’s was controlling his every action. To know when to use the device and stop him.” 

“Wha- a girl with… magic powers? You’re kidding me, right?” Tony almost smiled, “This- this is-”, but the tired, sad faces he saw around himself didn’t allow him to laugh for long. He just sat down on the sofa again, face into his hand. 

The other three looked between them, then Sif said, “The situation is still not safe. I’ll keep watching for any possible attack.” And she moved to the balcony. 

“Not safe?” Tony said after a moment, looking at her and then up at the two men, “What that supposed to mean?” 

Thor looked at Clint, that just shrugged, then at the other, “I stopped the girl, and she will not try harming the Captain again soon, trust me, but…”

“You’re a God and still there is a _but_ ?” Tony said sharply.

Thor sighed, “But she managed to escape.” He saw him staring impassible, so he continued, “She was hiding inside an old building not very far from here and… there was more people with her, more than I thought, and after I managed to stop her, they all attacked me to allow her to escape. I am very sorry.” 

Tony shook his head, looking down again. 

“They knew something was happening… the magic girl probably knew it before you found her.” Said Clint. 

Thor nodded sadly, “Probably she sensed our arrival into this world… I wasn’t expecting such power from her.” 

“Yeah, wow, totally amazing. You didn’t asked her an autograph?” Said Tony. 

“Tony, come on…” Clint said, placing his bow on the coffee table.

“No, really, maybe he was eager to know her better. You know, becoming Power Rangers friends or something.” 

“I never meet someone like her in your world.” Said Thor, more seriously, “It was a surprise, yet a bad one. She used those powers to hurt a friend of mine, to force him to hurt you. I am not forgiving her actions. I wish I could also captured her but, like Clint said, they were ready to fight back.” 

“You stopped her, but you didn’t killed her. That makes any sense to you?” Tony said, standing up again, “So what happened? You had the chance but you missed? You started to feel pity for her? A poor, damn- witch or whatever, that you knew was going to kill Steve, wasn’t enough of a reason to stop her for good?” 

Clint sighed again, but didn’t said anything. 

Thor was staring back at Iron Man, both silent for a tense moment. “It’s true, my intent wasn’t to kill her, not before understand what she was doing and why.”

“Why? She was- Steve was dying here, because of her! He still is! She was just part of this goddamn plan all along, what other explanation you needed?” 

“She looked trapped there herself.” Thor saw him frown a little, “She was probably sixteen years old. Just a young girl with a terrible power to me. I felt anger and fear in her powers, not hate.” 

Tony stared at him, tight fist, then he just shook his head, walking away. 

Clint passed a hand over his face, then looked at the God, “You think they were using her against her will?” 

“I think so. She wasn’t evil… her powers might be, but her…” Thor took a deep breath, “Maybe I made a mistake, but I don’t think she deserved to die.” 

“Yeah…try to explain that to the mad inventor over there, though.” 

“I understand Stark anger. Especially now that he knows the truth. It is hard to know that a friend risked his life trying to save he’s.” 

“It’s Steve, I wouldn’t be surprised. Angry, ashamed maybe, but surprised?” Clint huffed a sad laugh, shaking his head.

Thor took a deep breath, looking up at the laboratory from where more low cries where coming, then at the archer, “If I can provide any help in his operation-“ 

“Do something for his pain.” Said Tony, sat in the kitchen, head leaning over a hand, “For God’s sake, he’s- he’s screaming from hours by now...” 

Thor nodded once, strong and serious, and walked upstairs, disappearing in the lab after a moment.

Clint stared upstairs, then passed a hand over his shoulder with a grimace of pain.

“Agent Barton, I would suggest a medical control for the wound on you shoulder.” Said JARVIS.

The spy froze for a moment, slowly turning to the kitchen.

Tony was already staring nervously at him, “Really?” 

“Hey, Thor wasn’t joking about the defense of those people. There was a little army to control every bomb… since when JARVIS check on everyone without permission, by the way?”

“Since when not doing so led Captain fucking America to be operated in my lab because his heart is being poisoned and ready to explode.” 

“Fair enough.” Clint smiled a bit, a sad smile, “I still can’t believe it…” he took a deep breath, sitting in front of him, removing the jacket, “You have something to cover this for now? I think Bruce is already pretty busy in there.” 

Tony stood up and moved around, coming back to him with a bottle of alcohol and some bandages. 

Clint was already in his tank top, trying to look at the wound on the back of his shoulder. He saw Tony staring at him, “Sif already took the bullet out, don’t worry. Give me, I can-“ 

Tony shook his head, splashing some alcohol on the wound, watching the spy jump a bit, and take a nervous breath in. “Don’t be such a kid.” 

“That’s why I wanted to do it myself…” he hissed. 

“If you want to dislocate the other shoulder too, go on.” Tony said, slowly cleaning the wound, standing behind him, thinking of Steve being shot in the mansion some days before. So many people got hurt because of him lately. Too many… and Steve was paying the highest price.

Another scream made him flinch and he pressed a bit too strong on the shoulder. 

“Ouch-”

“My bad.” 

Clint sighed, “He’s in a bad situation, is he?” 

“You think?” 

“Stupid question, sorry.” He waited a bit, feeling his nervous hands bandaging the shoulder, then said, “You should sit down a bit...” 

“How did you find Thor and the bombs?” Asked Tony. 

“SHIELD saw some anomalies in the city and sent me to check. I found them and Thor explained everything to me. There wasn’t enough time, and I couldn’t warn anyone, so while he was taking care of the witch, Sif and I worked to stop the bombs.” He shook his head, “I knew something wasn’t right…” 

“We all knew it. Yet, none of us did anything.” Tony blocked the bandage tightly. 

“Ouch…” Clint turned to look at him, massaging his shoulder, “Listen, maybe we made a mistake, but- its Steve, he… he never want to talk about his feelings or his problems, because he’s the super soldier and all that shit…” 

“So you’re saying that it’s his own fault now?” 

“What I am saying is that his charade backfired this time, for all of us. How we could know? How he could fight a goddamn witch? Plus with that thing in his body and the bombs... It sure was a damn party for him, lately.” He sighed.

“I should’ve notice it. We could’ve helped him before all this.” Tony sat on the chair next to him, staring at the lab. 

“And the bombs would exploded.” 

“But he would be fine, now.” Tony shot back, staring angry at him, “From what I know, he was struggling from days, from a week, if I have to think that everything started when he decided to stay here. He had to face alone something he couldn’t even fight, he- he had to steal the reactor, he had to, and you think that he was happy about it? He was in pieces today. Some explosions would’ve been worth to not see him like that.” 

Clint stared at him in silence for a moment. “And you know Steve wouldn’t let that happen.” He took a deep breath, “He didn’t, and he saved everyone.” 

“Everyone but himself.” 

“That’s how Captain America fight his wars, apparently.” 

“And I hate him because of that. So _fucking_ much…” Tony shook his head and stood again, slamming away a glass that exploded in pieces into the sink, before leaving to the balcony. 

The air outside was cold, the sun gone from hours.

Tony marched to the edge of the balcony, still shaking with the desire to break something else. 

“You should try to calm down.” Sif said, arms crossed on her chest, staring at the city. 

“I’m fine like this, thank you.” 

“Are you?” 

“Do I look like I’m in the mood for a chat with an Asgardian right now?” 

“No. You look like you need it, though.” 

Tony turned to look at her, and she was staring back now. 

“I know what it feels like to be overwhelmed by the need to revenge, and hate, but this is not the time, nor necessary.” She said, voice flat and eyes serious, “Your friend saved your life, you should be thankful.” 

“Thankful? He- I’d never asked for it. I never asked him to die for me, or for anyone else.” 

“That doesn’t make him less brave and loyal to you than he clearly is.” 

“But I never asked him to be! He shouldn’t-” Tony slowly felt the anger slip away. He knew too well how much Steve could be loyal, ready to fight for what he believed in… and he sure was more than ready to fight to save a friend, but… 

“You are a warrior too. You know that a fight can’t always be easy to win. That’s why we don’t always fight them by ourselves.” Sif took a deep breath, looking down at the city. 

“He shouldn’t had to go through all this alone.” Tony said, passing a hand over his eyes, then shaking his head at the city, “There should’ve been another way to fight those people… a way for him to not go so far…” 

“There was no other way.” Sif took a few steps closer to him, “Steve made his choices, and he knew the consequences.” 

Tony looked sadly at her, but also still angry at the soldier, “His choice was to die for everyone else’s sake, and I can’t stand that kind of decision.” 

“That doesn’t look very different from what you did to save your city during the war against Loki.” She smiled at the face he made, “Thor told everyone what happened. It’s a shame we couldn’t join the battle.” 

Tony looked away, “That was different. There was no time to do anything else.” 

“And he couldn’t do anything else with the time he had. You think he didn’t tried to fight back? That he just accepted to do what the enemy wanted?” 

_Steve never ran from a fight_ , Tony couldn’t stop the thought. 

“You don’t have to hate him for what he did, nor yourself. A team is there for a reason, and this one was the perfect example of how much the bond between you two is strong.” Added Sif.

Tony thought about the discussion they had before Christopher showed up, and just closed his eyes, feeling so stupid, so egoist… “I just- I hate being the one that did nothing. Because that’s what I was good for while he was going insane… he’s so damn good at pretending to be fine.” He moved to one of the chair and flipped it from the floor to sit on it. 

“Ask for help is not easy, especially for a warrior. And in this case, he just couldn’t.” 

“Everything for my reactor, to get the New Element… and we don’t even know why the wanted it in the first place.” He took a deep breath, trying to shake away the anger. 

“Maybe your friends will find something…” Sif looked around and frowned, moving to take something. 

“Yeah, I’m sure Fury can’t wait to-“ Tony turned to her and blinked: she was grabbing a black, long jacket. Christopher’s jacket. 

“Yours?” asked her. 

“No. Absolutely not.” Tony jumped up to take it, “He probably ran away…” he checked the pockets and found a phone. 

“He?” 

“The man Steve fought… and he left us this.” Tony tight the grip on it, running back inside. “JARVIS, collect all the records about Steve from the day he showed up in the tower after the party.” 

“Even the private records, Sir?” 

“Yes.” 

“What?” Clint frowned, still sitting in the kitchen, “Why’s that? What happen?” 

“SHIELD was there when Thor found the bitch?” Tony asked to him, walking back without looking at him.

“You mean the witch?” 

“Yeah, what did I say?” 

Clint smiled ironically, “No, he fought her alone, but he gave us the location… SHIELD is probably there now.” 

“Can you go there too?” He looked back at the spy.

“What for?” 

“Send me everything you can. Everything you can find about those people… if SHIELD found someone alive, if they found cellphones or computers, can you send me the data?” 

Clint looked at Sif coming back inside, then back at him and nodded slowly, “I can. Why, what you want to do?” 

“I want to know what happened. Everything. I need to know what I missed. I- I’ll try to follow every step Steve made and see if I can find something useful to know what those people wanted to do with the New Element.” 

“I’ll see what I can do. I really hope to find someone still alive in there…” Said Clint, wearing his jacket again, ready to leave. “Hey.” 

Tony looked up from the phone, stopping in the middle of the hall. 

“Keep me updated about Steve, alright?” 

Tony nodded, watching him leave. He then smiled at the phone, “Time to do something wrong, but necessary.” 

“Like what?” asked Sif. 

“Spying the life of Captain America in the last week.” 

 

That night, as Tony was expecting, Pepper called for a report about the situation, and at her questions, something like “What the hell have you done this time?”, “Why the Tower is on tv again?” and “Please tell me no one died”, Tony answered that “Everything’s fine, someone attacked me again but no, no one is dead.” 

Steve was still under operation, but he decided not to mention that. Not yet. Not with the fear that the soldier couldn’t make it. 

It was impossible, he knew that Steve wasn’t going to die… Steve couldn’t die like that. Yet, he told Pepper to stay away from the Tower until the situation would been stable. 

The laboratory stayed closed, so Tony took every computer he could find, plus two he already had and the one he gave Steve after he started living there. It was in his room, on the desk, with the soldier’s sketchbook close by. Tony didn’t felt good to enter his room like a thief, but he needed all the resources he could find so, keeping the lights off, he stared at the room for a bit before grab the laptop and leave. 

Tony spent the rest of the night connecting Cristopher’s cellphone to the computers, trying to get everything he could from it, cracking walls and codes, but it wasn’t easy and as some point all the fear and the stress finally started to crawl up on him. He managed to add the info Clint sent to him on the main program, before fall asleep, or fainting, while waiting for some result. 

He opened his eyes hearing something fall. 

A groan. _Someone_ , then. 

Tony sat on the couch and looked around. He blinked twice at the kitchen. 

Bruce was sitting on the floor, his back against the fridge. He looked tiredly at him, “Sorry. Didn’t meant to wake you up.” 

“What are you doing…?” Tony passed a hand over his face, then looked at the lab, completely awake in a second, “Something happened? The operation is-” he saw the doctor with his eyes closed, breathing hard. Tony stood and walked to him, crouching next to him, waiting in worried silence. 

Bruce took some other deep breath, then looked at him, “They removed the device… Steve is alive.” He heard Tony hold his breath, so he smiled a bit, placing a hand on his shoulder, “He’s alive... and his vitals are slowly stabilizing.”

Tony breathed out, closing his eyes for a moment, head down, grabbing his shoulder the same way. 

“Thor’s help probably made the difference. Steve’s body was still trying to heal, but the pain and the screams…” 

“I know, I heard him. We all heard him.” 

“We couldn’t give him anything for the pain…” Bruce sighed, head against the door of the fridge. 

“But you made it. You-“ 

“I haven’t done much… I’m not a surgeon.” Bruce huffed tiredly, “I just keep an eye on everything SHIELD doctors were doing, JARVIS helped too and… and I tried to keep Steve calm. Until Thor came in.” 

Tony took a breath and then sat down next to him, crossing his legs on the floor, “Where is he?” 

“With Steve… he’s still in a lot of pain.” He shook his head, passing both hands on his face, “I don’t want to hear something like that ever again.”

“Same here.” 

Bruce looked at him, “Thor told me what happened… about the bombs. They got someone of the bad guys?”

“I don’t know. SHIELD found the place where they were- where Thor found the witch. Clint sent me some info and JARVIS is searching for everything could be useful.” 

Bruce thought for a second, “A witch.” 

“A fucking witch.” 

The doctor huffed a laugh, a cold laugh, “I can imagine the struggle for Steve… what he could do against a witch controlling his mind? Even Thor had some problems with her…” 

“And still he refused to kill her.” 

“He said she seemed trapped in a bad situation as Steve was…” 

“And because of that she is free to control Steve again, or any other of us.” Tony said coldly, looking down, “He should have killed her.” 

Bruce took a deep breath, “You think Steve would’ve killed her?” 

“I would.” 

“No, you wouldn’t.” Bruce smiled a bit at his nervous look, “Because Steve would’ve probably stopped you.” He sat better against the fridge, “Maybe Thor was right about her. If Steve’s life was actually at risk, he probably would have killed her, but she was not controlling the device. She- I think her job was only to mess with his mind, spying his thoughts and all that…” 

“You think Steve knew it?” 

Bruce shook his head in ha shrug, “He haven’t said anything about it while I was there, he just kept saying some _sorry_... between a scream and another, that is.” 

Tony felt his heart hurt. “Well, at least now I know the reason about all his sorry during the week.” 

“He hardly will forgive himself for this… but it wasn’t his fault. You have to tell him that.” 

“Why _me_ in the specific?” 

“He almost killed you, Tony.” 

“He had to. We all know that now.” 

Bruce looked seriously at him, “Don’t do that.” 

“What?” 

“Don’t hate him only because he took the right decision.” 

“I don’t- why should I hate him?”

“Because he risked his life for you, and you hate when that happens. What you and Steve both have to understand, is that there was no other choice, not without Thor’s help. Steve wouldn’t let those bombs explode, and either let you die. I am sure he tried his best, but what he did… you know that he would do that. There was no other way to save everyone.” 

Tony huffed a laugh, looking at the lab, “You’re not the first person to say something like that.” 

“Well, we know him, I guess.” Bruce sighed, “Sometimes you can’t help everyone and someone will get hurt… Steve’s a soldier, I’m sure he know that pretty well.” 

“That’s pretty clear, seeing how good he was at hiding and faking everything all this time…” 

“And we all fell for it.” 

“Yeah… someone more than others…” 

Bruce looked at him. 

Tony stood up, “JARVIS will probably end checking the records of all this week soon. Mind to help me watching them?” 

The doctor nodded, “Just give me a hand to stand.” 

“Why you were on floor, by the way?” he asked, offering a hand to lifting him up. 

“Just releasing some tension… it has been an intense day for everyone. What about you? The reactor is ok? How you’re feeling?” 

“I’m fine.” He said without looking at him, moving to the laptops, “JARVIS, any news?” 

“All the records with Captain Rogers involved are collected.” 

“Good, then we can-“ 

“Also, Thor asked for support in the laboratory.” 

Both men stopped moving, “Something happened to Steve?” Asked the doctor. 

“Captain Rogers’s condition are still stabilizing. Thor called for one of you when possible.” 

“I got this.” Tony said, letting the other stay sat on the couch, “Why don’t you start watching some of the videos? JARVIS is searching for any anomalies already, but two human eyes could see something he can’t.” 

“Ok… Call me if you need.”

Tony slowly walked to the stairs, unsure to go in his own lab for the first time. Two doctors of the SHIELD left before he was at the door, and once there, he took a deep breath, staring at the glass still gray, before find the courage to enter: the first thing he stared at, was of course Steve’s form lying in bed, the same bed where they left him to rest after the attack at the mansion, but his time he was shirtless, his chest all covered in a big bandage, some needles in his arm and an oxygen mask on his mouth. Some bloodied bandage and chirurgic tools on a table close by; on a screen were his vitals… his heartbeat. 

“He is recovering faster now.” Said Thor. 

Tony flinched a bit, spotting only then the God of Thunder standing from a chair. “Is he?” 

Thor nodded, “His blood is cleaning itself from the poison, and the wound of the operation is also healing. I’m sure he will be fine in some day.”

Tony was unmoving, close to the door. Suddenly was hard to move. “You called for us?” 

“Yes. I need to talk with Sif. Can you stay with him for a bit?” 

Suddenly was also hard to talk. “He- he’s still in pain, right?” 

“A bit. I’m trying to let him adjust to it, slowly of course. He will be fine for a moment without me.” Thor grabbed Steve’s wrist again, closing his eyes for a second, then looked back at him, “The others are asleep there, they deserve some rest… you are sure you can check on the Captain for a while?” 

Tony saw two women and three men sleeping around in the lab, probably the doctors that operated him, and he felt even more useless. “Yeah...ok.” 

Thor nodded and placed a hand on his shoulder, “He will be fine.” He said, before leave. 

Tony stayed there until the door clicked closed, then he stared at Steve, but he felt like stuck in place. He took a deep breath and finally started to move. He slowly reached the soldier’s side, staring at his sleepy form, a red stain over his heart. Looking at him, just make him think about himself waking up in the cave… 

“At least you don’t need a reactor.” He said, trying to shake away that memory. His little smile slowly faded, looking how pale Steve was, how hurt he was… a damn operation open heart, for goddess’s sake…

Steve moved slightly, his fingers grasping a bit the blanket. 

Tony stared at it, then at him, “You’ll be fine. Just hang in there a bit more.” But Steve hand was slightly shaking. Tony looked around, unsure, then took a chair and sat next to him, placing a hand over he’s. “You’ll be fine, Steve.” _I hope we both will be fine._

And then Steve’s eyes opened a bit, just a little.

Tony froze for a second, just staring at him, “You can rest. Everything’s alright.” He said slowly, looking down when he felt his fingers trying to squeeze his, so weak, yet he tried. Tony looked back at him, swallowing down the sadness, and shook his head, “No apologizes. Don’t you dare.” 

Steve was breathing slowly, eyes half open but his expression still absent. He fell asleep again in few seconds. 

Tony breathed deeply and grabbed his hand more firmly, “ _I'm_ sorry.” He said quietly, in the lab that looked more and more like a hospital.

“Tony.” 

He looked back at the door, where Bruce was standing. 

“You have to see this.” He said, walking downstairs. 

After a moment, Tony was back in the hall, following Bruce’s gaze over a laptop’s screen: there was a scene from the lab, the moment when Christopher arrived in the hall, then all the cameras of the floor where black.

“That was the man you were talking about?”

“Yeah. He came here to take the reactor. Why? You know him too?” Tony didn’t have enough energy to be surprised anymore. 

“No, but I've seen him.”

“You sure? Where?” 

“Down in the street. What remained of him was over a car, after falling from here, I guess.” Bruce looked the balcony outside.

“He was dead?” 

“Pretty sure, yeah. There was another helicopter trying to land too, before SHIELD’s.” 

Tony thought for a moment, but couldn’t hide a sigh of relief. 

“You think Steve killed him?” asked Bruce, “Before he tried to escape?” 

“I don’t know… JARVIS, we have a record from the outside?” 

“No, Sir.” 

“Use the camera’s around the building. Find the ones that could show us what happened.” 

“Some of the cameras are private.” 

“I don’t care. Give me everything you can find.” Tony took a deep breath, watching Bruce staring at him, “I want to know what happened, ok? I am tired of these secrets. I need to know what the hell led Steve to be half dead on an operating table.” 

Bruce silently watched at the screen, then said “Then we’ll need that body too.” And Tony looked back at him, “I- I’m not going to steal a corpse. The police probably took it away already. I’ll call Fury and see if I can see it.” 

“Why Fury?” 

“Because I don’t want him to come here, so I’ll go to him and try to explain something about what happened.” 

“He won’t let you go without you answering all his questions, you know?” 

Bruce huffed a laugh, “He can try.” He took his jacket, “I’ve looked at some records of this week, and there was something… some kind of earthquake the other day, in the early morning.” 

Tony frowned, “Earthquake?” 

“Watch it yourself. Was like something hit the tower, but JARVIS didn’t found anything strange.” 

Tony nodded slowly and the doctor nodded a salute before left. “J, what’s this story about earthquake in the tower?” 

“Yesterday morning the tower trembled. There was no damage on the structure. The entity of the cause is still unknown.” Said the AI. 

“Where did it started?” 

“The main point is around the fourteenth and fifteenth floor.”

“Show me the records.” Tony looked at the screen showing outside the tower, and everything looked normal, “Inside.” He said. 

“The cameras of those floors seems to be deactivated.” 

Tony frowned, “Turn them on, then.” He said and after a moment, there was some imagine but covered in black and gray lines. “What the…” 

“A view from another floor is possible.” Said JARVIS and he showed the records from the sixteenth and thirteenth floor. One was normal, but the other one… 

Tony sat on the couch and looked closely, “Zoom on the window.” He said and there it was: from the thirteenth floor, he could see a reflection on the glass of the window, not very clear, but after a moment he saw Christopher walking around someone in the fourteenth’s lobby… and then there was Steve form on the reflection. 

“A control of the inside records is almost done.” Informed JARVIS. 

“How did I miss it…?” Tony fell against the back on the couch, staring at the mute record that would probably helped to save Steve from this nightmare. He shook his head before dropped it through his hands. Only when his phone ringed he looked at the screen, and it was a message from Clint: _We found someone alive. I’ll tell you what they know in a bit_ .


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sadly sip coffee* Epilogue should be ready soon. *pretend to ignore that fact that the angst and the feels prevailed over the last chapter, changing it almost completely and make it so much longer than before that I had to split it in two*

_This must be the end._

Steve’s first thought was that he was dead. He was sure of it, even if he couldn’t actually remember what death felt like because, well, the first time it had come too suddenly to actually understand the feeling of it. 

This time, however, was a clear sensation, but also fast, like a wave of cold air- or water… and then he was awake again. 

Steve opened his eyes in a little gasp, staring at the silent room around him. Looking down, he saw needles in his arm and his heart rate started to beep faster and faster on the machine next to the bed. _They operated me? Christopher took me and operated me again…_

Steve shivered and get free from them, leaving the bed wearing a simple t-shirt and sweatpants, almost falling down on the floor: he could feel a bandage around his chest, and over his heart. _Not again…_

He made it to the door when it suddenly opened and a shadow stood in front of him. 

“Captain- you’re awake!” Thor smiled, hugging him, “I left your room just a minute ago, and suddenly I heard those machines start to sound… very alarming.” He moved him a bit away, still grabbing his shoulders, now concerned, “But you have to rest. You need to regain your power.” 

“Thor…?” 

“Yes?” 

“I’m not… this is real?” 

Thor frowned for a moment, then smiled patiently “It is real. We made it.” 

Steve’s shoulders dropped a bit, “Did we?” 

The God of Thunder nodded more fiercely, “The enemy is defeated. You are not in danger anymore, and not even Stark is. The battle is won.” 

Steve smiled slightly… and almost fainted again. 

Thor kept him up, “You need to rest, my friend. I can feel your tension from here.” He said, helping him to go back to bed. He stared at the needles and then said with a strong nod, “I have no idea how to put these back in place. I’ll call for the doctor.” 

“Wait…” Steve could only see him walk away. He took some deep breath, a hand over his heart, looking around and recognizing that that was his room in the Stark Tower. He took a nervous breath in, then stood and left the room: he had to see. He had to be sure. 

The top floor was quiet, but in the living room, Steve noticed a crack in the window of the balcony and the memory of Christopher’s fall came back to his mind, his body falling down… 

Steve looked up at the laboratory and walked into it: the room was empty; some computers were running like always, no signs of fight. 

“Good afternoon, Captain.” Said JARVIS, “In your actual conditions, I would suggest to rest-”

“What conditions?” 

“You had a very delicate operation-“ 

“When?” 

“It took place last night, in this laboratory. There was no time to take you to the nearest hospital.” 

“By who? Who- who operated me?” 

“A team from SHIELD, with the presence of Dr. Banner. Mr. Stark also requested me to control your status during the operation. I can provide the doctors names if-” 

“He’s fine? Tony, he- he’s alright?” 

“Yes, Captain.” 

Steve took a deep breath and sit on a chair with a groan, hand on his heart again while footsteps where coming closer. He was feeling dizzy.

“Why he left his room?” Was nervously asking Bruce.

“No idea. Maybe he was hungry.” 

“Tony, this is not the moment for-“ 

“I told him to wait. Maybe he needed to use the bathroom.” Said Thor.

“That can be too.” 

“Guys, seriously…” 

“Captain Rogers is in the laboratory. He may require assistance.” Said JARVIS. 

Steve heard people coming quickly upstairs and after a moment Bruce and Thor were there next to him. 

“Steve, you ok?” Asked Bruce, looking him up and down. 

“Yeah...” 

“You shouldn’t walk around, Captain. You are still hurt.” Said Thor.

“I’m fine, I just need to… to check something.” 

Bruce was looking at the patch under his shirt, “No, you only need to rest and wait for this to heal. Hold on… Thor, give me a hand with that.” 

“Of course.” They both moved away, leaving the soldier there to breathe hard with his eyes closed. 

“Slow down. You’ll choke yourself.” 

Steve recognized the voice only a second later, looking up. 

Tony flinched a bit, looking wary at him. 

Steve noticed it, but didn’t say anything about it. He couldn’t and, aside that, he didn’t know what to say at all. Tony sure wasn’t going to help him this time. When Bruce came back, Tony looked away and took some steps back. 

“Ok, time to go back to bed. I’ll need to check the bandage and then…” 

“I don’t need to rest, Bruce…” 

“You need it and you will rest. We’ll talk later.” Bruce took his arm, Thor the other one and they slowly took him away. 

 

Steve didn’t remember if he actually apologized to Tony, in the end, before leaving the lab, but in a second he was back in his bed and had just the time to say thanks to them before drifting away into the dreaming world once again. 

It wasn’t a true sleep, he rarely had that anyway, he just stayed in bed, mind half awake, body finally trying to relax. That might be what he really needed. 

When more light started to brighten the room, Steve opened his eyes, collecting his thought, and saw someone at the window on his left. 

Thor turned around, arms crossed on the chest, giving him his usual calm smile, “I was wondering for how long you’d be stayed there without say anything.” 

“Just trying to clear my mind a bit.” Steve sighed tiredly, “What did I miss?” 

“Just another night.” Thor moved closer, “How are you feeling?” 

“Better…” Steve sat on the bed, keeping a hand on his chest. “I think is almost healed by now.” He saw him took a deep breath, nodding once, “Was that bad?” 

“I think so. Doctor Banner didn’t let anyone enter the room, only me and the doctors that were operating you.” Thor sat on the chair close by and only then Steve noticed he was wearing the Asgardian’s clothes, expect for the cape. 

“You were there too?”

Thor sighed, “You were in pain. In a lot of pain, because the device was poisoning you.” 

“Poison…” Steve murmured, vaguely remembering himself screaming in the lab, “I knew there was something else…” he sighed.

Thor nodded, “When we arrived here, Stark asked me to help you to reduce your suffering. Our friend was very worried about you, we all were, but in the end everything worked well and you were safe and alive.” 

“Thanks to you too.” Steve sat better, back against the wall, “I remember everything now.” 

Thor nodded again, “Glad that it worked. Heimdall was worried about the memories… he feared that something could go wrong. That you could remember at the wrong time, or not at all.” 

“But it worked. I saw the thunder, and then I remembered… I think I was remembering anyway, when I…” Steve recalled the memory of him taking the reactor, Tony’s face- and he took a quick breath in, trying not to think about those moments, not yet. “So... you found the bombs?” 

Thor nodded, “Sif found them, with the help of our friend Hawkeye. I found something better: the witch.” 

Steve blinked in surprise, “A witch…? The super human? You found her?”

“Yes, but I fear I only managed to distract her. There were more people to protect her and I didn’t managed to actually fight her. When I came back after defeating her guardians, she was already gone. She shad very strong powers…” 

“What kind of powers?” 

“Similar to my brother’s.” Thor looked at him with a serious glare, “She was very dangerous, Captain, and I fear that there was very little you could’ve done against her, all by yourself.” 

“A witch…” Steve breathed slowly and forced a little smile, “Thank God we have… a God in our team.” He said, and that sounded so sad, he just looked down, shaking his head. 

“But I fear to have disappointed you and Stark, after all.” 

Steve looked back at him, and he was serious now, there was some kind of regret in his face, “Why? Thor, you saved me. You saved us.” 

“I had the opportunity to kill one of the person responsible for your suffering, but I didn’t.” Thor said, looking him in the eyes, “Maybe I should’ve, like Stark said, her powers were really something I’ve never seen before… but she was also scared when I arrived there, and almost relieved. To me, she looked only like a young girl trapped in there, with her terrible power.” 

Steve stared at him for a moment, then said, “You think she was there against her will?” 

“Or maybe she just had no other place to go.” Thor took a deep breath, “I saw those eyes in the past, and not on the face of a murderer.” 

Steve sighed, “Maybe, but if you’re telling me that I have to forget what she was doing…”

He shook his head, “I’m telling you that she was lost, and that is the only reason why I did not killed her on the spot. Like I said to Stark, I don’t regret my decision, but I take all the responsibility for her escape.” 

Steve stared at him, but in the end just nodded slowly, “I trust your judgement… but be ready to see me in Asgard again if she will try to kill me a second time.” 

Thor smiled, “I’ll tell Heimdall to wait for your call.” 

The soldier huffed a laugh, “I wish I didn’t had to make you join this madness in the first place…”

“I’m glad that we could help you.” Thor said, grabbing his shoulder, his hand more similar to a bear trap, “Maybe you would’ve found a solution alone but, if possible, why don’t do it the easy way?” 

Steve laughed ironically, “Piece of cake for the Gods, uh?” 

“We still are a team. They want to use a Witch? A God will accept the challenge.” 

Steve smiled and put a hand on his arm, “And I appreciate the help. Yours, and of your people. It could’ve ended much worse without you.” 

“Oh it could. Their plan was very well elaborated.” 

“It sure was...” Steve nodded sadly, moving to stand, just sitting on the edge of the bed instead, “But I won’t let something like this happen again. I can’t let something like this happen again.” 

“I fear we’ll never be sure about that, despite how much we want it…” Said Thor looking down, but then he watched him again, and his face was impossible to read, “but we can be ready to fight for what we cherish.” 

Steve gave up trying to read something on that stone face, so he nodded and then frowned a bit, “Did you know the name of the girl- of the witch?” 

Thor shook his head gravely, “No, but Sif decided to call her Red Witch.”

“Red?” 

“Because her powers were bright red… like blood, flowing through her hands.” 

“And... she said something?” 

“No. Her friends managed to distract me before I could talk to her. I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. You helped a lot and… I guess we’ll be ready for her, next time. We’ll try to be, at least.” 

Thor nodded again, with more decision this time, “I am sure she won’t try to do anything anytime soon, but I will happily come back for a second match.” 

“I’ll take your word for that.” He said, watching him stand up, “Time to leave?” 

“I was waiting for your awake. Asgard require my presence. Lots of people still want to hear about the war we fought here.” 

“And now you can add another one.” 

“They sure will love to hear about the fight against a Midgardian’s Witch.” Thor nodded with emphasis. 

Steve smiled and stood as well, “Thanks for the help, Thor.” And offered a hand that the God of Thunder grabbed strongly, “I’m not a God, but if you need help, you know where to find me.”

Thor smiled a nod and then looked a bit worried, “Stark was becoming very… insistent about what happened to you that involved even me and Sif, so I tried to placate him somehow. I told them what I knew, while your operation...” 

“And that was enough for him?” 

“I think not. He spent the last two days doing research about you and the enemy that managed to enter the Tower. Stark wasn’t happy about that.” 

“I can imagine.” Steve smiled tiredly, and together they left the room. “The others are alright? You said Clint helped Sif with the bombs…” 

“Yes, he found us and decided to help. They are both well. Sif left to Asgard yesterday, sending her hope for a fast recovering to you.”

The Tower was quite once again, while they moved to the center of the hall. 

“I think everyone is still sleeping.” Said Thor wearing his cape, left on the couch, and taking the hammer from a chair, while Steve just noticed that was five in the morning.

They both walked outside, and Thor stopped in the center of the balcony.

“Say thanks to Sif and Meryn for me. And to Heimdall too.” Said Steve, standing some steps away. 

“He probably already heard you.” Thor smiled, then nodded a salute before disappearing in flashes of lights and colors that leave just some smoke on the surface. 

Steve took a deep breath and moved closer to the edge, watching the city underneath, where Christopher died. He still wasn’t completely sure that the story was over, but there was only a way to find out. 

He walked back inside and upstairs in the lab, finding it empty. If Tony wasn’t there, working or sleeping, it couldn’t be a good sign, but he needed to face a problem at the time. “JARVIS?” he called with a low voice. Even just call for the AI make him feel bad… 

“Good morning Captain.” Said the AI’s calm voice, “How can I assist you?” 

“I’m surprised that I can still talk to you…” 

“I’m always ready to help the members of the Avengers, if required.” 

Steve thought for a moment, then asked, “Can you tell me something about my operation?” 

“Of course. The device was successfully remove it and your condition were stabilizing in some hours, without any complications. No physical consequences. Still, probably more time will be needed to heal completely.” 

“Which means?” 

“A very amount of stress was detected, and some panic attack occurred during and after the operation. For which, I suggest rest and sleep.” 

Steve nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. _So in the end I snapped, after all…_

“Doctor Banner intended to complete some checkups today. I can call for him, if needed.” 

“No. It can wait…” Steve looked around, then asked, “Can you do it? Show me how my- my heart is now? If everything’s alright?” 

“Of course. A direct permission to the exam is required.” 

“You’ve done it already.” 

“Because it was a direct order from Mr. Stark.” 

Steve remember Tony next to him, worried and confused, his hand over his heart, when he finally understood that something wasn’t right. “You can’t check everyone?” 

“Only in case of emergency or under specific request from themselves or Mr. Stark.” 

Steve breathed slowly and nodded, “Alright... you have my permission, then.” 

“In the center of the room, please.” 

Steve moved more ahead and stopped there, thinking about it and then taking off his t-shirt, feeling the cold air over the skin. He looked down at the bandage, studying it, fighting the urge to break it and check beneath it. When a horizontal line of light started to slide over his body, he flinched back a bit. Yeah, he remembered the scan JARVIS made of him when his heart was going to explode… 

“The organs have taken no critical damage.” Said JARVIS, losing himself in a medical speech that not even the Captain could follow, at some point. 

“Can I see it?” Steve asked after a bit and few seconds later, there was a hologram clone of himself in front of him. No physically detailed, more like a ghost. He moved closer and watched his beating heart: nothing was there, no strange shadow or creepy devices. Nothing. He was free again. 

Steve shivered a bit and started to remove the bandage until his chest was also free. The bandage fell on the floor and he stared at the light line on his skin, over his chest, almost completely healed. 

“What are you doing?” 

Steve blinked and looked back to the entrance: Tony was standing at door, probably just awake, because his hair were all messy and the shirt was halfway inside his trousers; he was looking unsure at him, then a flash of tension appeared when he looked down at the bandage on the floor. “Just… checking myself.” Said the soldier. 

Tony kept looking him up and down, “Bruce could do it.” 

“I can do it by myself. With some help from JARVIS.” Steve saw him nod while looking at the hologram, but he didn’t came any closer and he noticed that too. He needed to do something about it, “I know it’s probably stupid to ask but… you’re alright?” he asked trying to break the ice, and ok, from the flash of anger he saw in Tony’s eyes, that was indeed something _very_ stupid to ask. 

“Sit down.” Said Tony without looking at him, moving to one of the computers. 

Steve just do that. Without asking why, without asking anything. If Tony wanted to punch him, to break one of his leg, or kill him, everything would be fine. 

Tony left the screen and moved to the hologram, studying it for a moment. 

Steve could hear him moving behind him, but when the hologram slid through himself, he flinched back, staring at his own imagine in front of him again. 

“You were searching for something in there?” Tony asked, slowly coming to stop next to the hologram. 

“Yeah… something that I am glad is not there anymore.” Steve said and grabbed something he throw at him: a little square of metal in a plastic, transparent bag. 

“That’s the _something_ you were looking for.” Tony said, “SHIELD’s doctors removed it after some hours. Without actually kill you. We sure can be happy about that.” 

Steve stared at the device in silence: something so little was going to destroy his life… and kill him. 

“I’ve exanimated it already. It’s nothing so sophisticated, but sure its something. We could use it- or we can just destroy it. Ok.” Tony said, watching him destroying the device in one fist, “They probably had some good chirurgic with them. The connection to your heart was-“ 

“That’s enough.” 

Tony stopped, looking at him. “I thought you wanted to know what happened.” 

“I know what happened. I know that this thing was going to kill me. They kept torturing me with that for days so no, I don’t want to know anything about it anymore. If you can make it disappear completely from this world, do it.” Steve said, leaving the remains of the device on the table, looking back at him just in time to see anger in his face again. “And I know you’re mad at me, but a punch in face would be better than hear you talking about that thing as if it was just a dangerous toy.” He said standing up, wearing his shirt again. 

Once done with it, he saw that the hologram was gone, but Tony was still there, some steps away now, staring at him in silence. 

Steve sighed, “I know Thor told you what happened, and probably how I managed to have his help. If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know what would had happened.” He passed both hands over his face, and still Tony didn’t say anything, “I tried to fight them, to find a solution. At first I thought was all about me, maybe about the serum, but then they asked for your reactor and I couldn’t do anything to stop them. The bombs, that thing ready to kill me and I- I couldn’t say anything to anyone because of the witch… a damn witch.” He shook his head, looking down. 

“You didn’t had much of a choice.” Said Tony, voice flat and empty. So empty. 

“I never wanted to betray you and steal the reactor, Tony. I was sure that they were wrong saying that I was the perfect person for the job, I never thought that you…” Steve understood how much he was wrong when Tony’s face betrayed a glimpse of sadness, maybe even disappointment, “I never really thought that we could trust each other that much.”

“Yeah, well, we’re still not besties, I guess.”

“But my teammate are also my friends, and I know I refused your help at first. Probably the only help that I needed… and you just proved that to me.” Steve said and then snorted a sad, little laugh, “If I’d stayed here after the battle, maybe they wouldn’t have kidnapped me.” He felt to have failed so much only once before: watching Bucky falling from that damn train seventy years before. 

After a moment, Tony said “Can we not start the _What If_ game now?” 

Steve looked back at him so fast his neck almost hurt, “You think it was a game for me?” 

“Of course not, but it’s stupid and useless think about what you could’ve done, now.” 

“I almost killed you. I’m just trying to say that I’m sorry.” 

“And I’m trying to say that you don’t have to.” Shot back Tony, voice impassible, and now was the soldier to be at the loss for words. Tony took a deep breath, “J, show him the records.” 

Steve frowned, then saw a screen appear next to them and he recognized the emergency stairs inside the tower: was night, he could see the lights outside the big, high window, and few more into the walls, then all the visual trembled like there was an earthquake, then everything stilled again. He looked at Tony. 

“That was you.” He said, “You punched the wall, didn’t you?” 

“How...?” 

Tony looked at the screen and the visual changed to another point of view, and zooming in the down right angle, there was half of Steve. “No need magic for this. Just turning a camera.” Tony said while the scene changed: there was daylight now and the view was still in the same spot, and there was Steve down there again, talking to someone that he then smashed against the wall and Christopher appeared: the first meeting they had in the lobby of the 14th floor. 

Steve was incredulous, looking at that horrible moment on the screen. “You saw it?” 

“I started to pin point all the clues during your operation. JARVIS started, actually… he heard you punching the tower, but it took him a while to find the right spot and from there we noticed what was happening… and we found out all the rest. And yes, I checked your phone too. Sorry, not sorry.” 

“You can hear it too?” Steve looking at the screen.

“Probably not. Still working on it.”

The soldier stayed still: he just needed to punch the wall… he just needed to do that, and maybe… maybe… 

“I’m not showing you this to make you feel worse.” Said Tony, like he could read his mind, “I’m showing you this because if you want to play that stupid game with me, I think I’ll win, because that-“ he pointed at the screen, “and not even only that, but everything… you think I didn’t saw how strange you were acting? Even Bruce saw it, but I thought- we thought that was, I don’t know, something that you needed. Being yourself, away from everyone’s judgement…” he sighed, leaning against a table, “Everyone saw that you were different, and I just decided to ignore it. For once I should’ve just kick your stupid need of privacy out of this tower.” 

Steve wasn’t sure to laugh or cry anymore, “But you didn’t.” 

“But I didn’t, and they kept playing with your heart. Literally. You think you just needed to stay here that night to save ourselves from all this mess? Well, I just needed to be the jerk that I am and turn a camera to get us both out of it.” Tony said, pushing Dum-E’s head away. 

“Don’t try to put this on yourself.” 

“It’s on both of us.” 

“No, it’s not.” Steve looked at him with a serious glare now, “I end up in this situation by myself. I had to kill you- I almost did, to save the city from those bombs, because we both know that I wouldn’t let more people die.” 

“And of course the heroic sacrifice is always the best choice.” 

“It was the only choice that I still had.” 

“That doesn’t make it a good choice.” 

“No? So was fine to see three bombs destroying New York even more than already is?” 

“Well, watching you screaming and dying on the floor of my lab wasn’t fine either!” 

Steve didn’t answer to that. _How_ he could respond to that? Another _sorry_? That would probably be enough to start a war at the moment… so he just stared at him, watching his impassible mask starting to crack, and what was underneath made him feel even worse.

Tony closed his eyes for a moment, then said more calm, and cold again, “I know what you had to do, I know that saving people is you duty or whatever, but don’t tell me that it was-“ he stopped, shaking his head a bit, “Don’t tell me that you would’ve done that even if there was another choice. Just don’t.” 

If Steve could’ve seen his own face, he would probably discovered that he could say sorry even with only his expression, “I won’t, but we both already know the answer to that. You always said that you know me probably more than anyone else, then why it’s so hard to accept now?” and the answer hit him the second he said those words. Too little too late.

Tony stared at him as if he just stabbed him in the back. He then looked away and huffed a laugh, so cold, so resigned, “Yeah... I wonder why.” He said, standing from the table, “I’ll tell Bruce that you’re awake.” 

“Wait- wait, that was-“ Steve moved to stop him, but he was already outside the lab and when he tried to open the door, he found it locked. “Tony, come on…” but the inventor didn’t stopped and in a minute he was gone from his sight. Steve sighed, forehead against the glass. Apparently, he could ruin everything even without Christopher’s help. 

 

“Bruce…?” 

“What?” 

“Are you angry?” 

“No.” 

“You’re sure?” 

“Yes.” 

“Because- you know, your hands are a bit… green?” 

Bruce looked away from the computer and down on his own hands, then at Steve, sitting on the bed on the lab with some patches and wires attached on his chest, to control his heartbeat.

“Ok. Never mind.” Said Steve, looking down again. 

Bruce took a deep breath and put away his glasses, massaging his eyes. When he looked at Steve again, his hands were normal. “Your heart seems to be healed well.” He said calmly, “You were operated just a night ago... That’s kind of impressive.” 

Steve nodded. 

“Steve?” Bruce waited until he looked up again, “I’m glad that you’re ok, and that this entire situation ended up without anyone’s death…” 

“Me too.” 

“I wish I’d insisted more that day in the gym. I saw something wasn’t right…” 

“And I’m happy that you didn’t.” Steve said, “Keep everything secret was one of the rules, I told you. I don’t blame any of you for all this. Just them.” _And myself_ , Steve thought sadly. 

Bruce sighed, but nodded, “It was a terrible, well made plan. They thought about almost everything… they knew you and Tony so well- thanks to the Witch and her powers, I guess.” 

“Thor said he took care of her. At least for a while, we should be alright… and ready if something like this will happen again.” 

“You think they won’t give up on the reactor?” 

“After risking so much, would be weird if they did.” 

Bruce nodded slowly, “We’ll be ready.” He confirmed, then laughed a bit, “Tony sure will be. He’s working on the security system of the tower from when your operation ended. I doubt he will allow any more flaws in the system. If something good came out of all this, is that now he knows where the weak spots are.” 

“We’re still talking about the tower, right?” 

Bruce saw him smile sadly, “Yes, I didn’t mean- sorry. I didn’t mean any of you, really.” 

“Don’t worry… It’s something we have to work on as all the rest.” 

“Tony don’t need to be afraid of another stab in the back from you. This was- there was a real threat, but it wasn’t really you that wanted to hurt him.” 

“Not sure that Tony feels the same way, right now.” 

Bruce stared at him for a moment, “That’s pretty unfair, from you.” 

“I’m just…” Steve leaned against the chair, “I know what happened to him in the past, and what I did now, playing with his trust…” he sighed, thinking about the almost fight of that morning, in the lab, “He doesn’t looked so keen on forgiveness yet.” 

“Maybe, but I think you’re missing the point.” 

“Which is?” 

“That is about you, this time. He will forgive you. He probably already have.” 

Steve felt those words like a punch in the stomach, “Because he have to.” 

Bruce shook his head, “After everything that has happened, you’re the one not trusting him, now?” 

“I trust him, but…” Steve sighed, “I’m starting to think that I don’t deserve his trust, after all.” 

“Why?” 

“Because maybe I was the one not caring enough about it.”

Bruce stared at him, then smiled a bit, “Tony can be a pain, but he is not stupid. He still can see who the real enemy is... most of the time.” He said, removing the patches from his chest, “I don’t know what happened between you two during this week, but if you care about this friendship, maybe you should be honest with him as much as he tried to be.” 

“I am. I-” and Steve stopped because, yeah, that could be something to work on. During the last week, wasn’t Tony the one lying half of the time… and sure there was more than one thing that still needed to be explained. Despite how much embarrassing, useless or stupid that could’ve be, Tony deserved some honesty. That was all Steve could do to try to save their bond. Losing it now, was like let Christopher win. 

“Darlings, I’m home- hey, there you are.” Clint appeared on the door of the lab, smiling at them, “Captain. Welcome back into the world of free will.”

“Thanks.” He said with a little grin, “Bruce told me you had fun too while I was out.” 

“Always a pleasure to fight with an Asgardian Lady.” 

“How’s your shoulder?” Asked Bruce. 

“Healing well. Couple of days and I’ll be like new.” He said, staring at Steve’s light scar over his chest. 

Steve noticed it, “Same here.” He said, wearing his shirt. 

“Why you’re here?” Asked Bruce, placing down the medical tools. 

Clint took a deep breath, looking at the soldier with a more serious glare, “Fury sent me to take you back to SHIELD, for some checkups and question about all the crazy stuff happened this days…” he saw him swallow, ready to say something, “but I was hungry so I brought you all breakfast.” He continued with an innocent smile, offering a plastic bag full of coffee cups, “There’s also some donuts and of course green tea for Bruce because the green is your favorite color, don’t you dare say that I don’t care about you. Here.” 

“True example of friendship.” Snorted Bruce, accepting his tea. 

Steve huffed a laugh, grabbing the coffee. “I though Fury knew everything already.” 

“I told him most of what happened.” Said Bruce, “And that you were fine after the operation. I might have made him notice that would be nice from him to stay away until you were ready to talk to him.” 

“Subtly.” Nodded Clint 

“Very subtly.” Confirmed Bruce, peacefully sipping his tea. 

Steve nodded slowly at them, afraid to know _how much subtle_ that subtle was. 

“Where’s Tony? I thought coffee’s smell would be enough to make him appear. You know, like dog’s food.” Said Clint, shaking the bag, looking around.

“He was still working on the security system, somewhere downstairs. Give me, I’ll bring it to him.” Said Bruce. 

“We can’t go all together like a happy family?” 

“Maybe later, ok?” Bruce took the cup and walked away. 

Clint watched him leave, then turned to Steve, “You talked with Tony?” 

Steve almost choked with his coffee, “Yeah, we- we talked a bit, but…” he shrugged, “I guess we’ll need some time before being able to talk like before.” _Mostly because I can’t say anything right when I talk to him, apparently._

Clint took his coffee as well, sitting next to him, “You have to try. You both. I don’t know who’s feeling more guilty between you two, really.” 

Steve looked at him, frowning, “Why he should feel guilty?” 

“We all feel kind of guilty, Steve. Come on, it was clear that something wasn’t right, but we decided to let you handle it like you always want to do. Irony, uh?” he saw the soldier staring, so he sat better, “Being a spy, that was pretty lame of me, but I guess now we all know the rule: never ignore a teammate acting weird. And yes, I know this time was for the better, because of the Witch, but… that doesn’t make it easier to accept.”

Steve looked down, then at him again and said, “Thanks for the help. I think I have a debt with all of you…” 

“Oh, I won’t forget about it, don’t worry.” Clint said with a grin, then asked, “So Tony didn’t said anything else?” 

“About what?” 

“The research he made. And that me and SHIELD made.” He saw him shook his head, “Thor led us to the location where the Witch was before escaping. We got some laptops and some names of the people in that group- I’ve sent everything to Tony here, while your operation.” 

Steve nodded, listening intently, “Thor told me about her before leaving... You found anything useful?” 

“Aside the names, there was something about the device they used on you and some other research, but I haven’t read much of them at the moment. You should ask Tony. He probably went through all that stuff by now.” 

Steve took a breath and nodded, “I was thinking about talk to him anyway…” 

“You really make us all worry, but he was really pissed…” 

“He was?” 

“He punched Thor.” 

Steve blinked and then laughed softly. 

“A hand almost broken sure didn’t make it easier for him, but not being able to help it’s a horrible feeling. Even worse with you screaming like that.” Said Clint, voice more serious now, then he looked him in the eyes and sighed, kind of relieved, “Let’s not do that again, deal?” 

“Deal.” 

Clint patted his shoulder, “Off I go then.” 

“What about Fury…?” 

“Don’t worry about it. Take the time you need.” Clint said, waving a hand before turning to descend the stairs. 

Steve stayed sat in the lab with his coffee, feeling weird to stay there even now that he could actually leave. Despite everything that happened, the Tower still felt the only safe place where he could stay… and where he wanted to stay.

 

At some point in the morning, with still half of the coffee in his cup, Steve left the lab and walked back to his room to take a shower, to collect his thoughts… or at least try to. Everything was still spinning into his mind, but the hot water helped him to slow them down a bit, thinking about the discussion with Tony, then with the others… 

If the battle against Loki wasn’t enough to make him start to really trust them, he sure was ready to do it now. How he didn’t realized that before, was beyond his knowledge. 

Drying his hair, he thought about the moment he talked with Tony before Christopher arrived, and what he said before taking the reactor from him… he really managed to make him fall in love with him? He still was? How he could be, after everything that happened? How Tony could still think about him that way without knowing how much of that bond was real? When not even Steve himself knew it… 

He cared about Tony. He trusted and respected him, he learned to, that was one of the few true things about the time they spent together, and of course he tried to save him without second thought, because it was the right thing to do. Because he _wanted_ to save him… because he just couldn’t stand to lose someone else. Especially not another friend. 

And Tony hated him because of that. Because Tony would preferred to sacrifice himself for him.

Steve closed his eyes, hairdryer still on, and he never felt so close to cry: how he could be so blind until now? How much he’d hurt Tony during all the last week? Playing with his friendship, his trust… and his feelings. And what he was going to do now? Leave as if nothing happened? Both of them pretending to be fine? Because they both were still broken, was just hard to tell who was the most. 

Suddenly he thought about Tony pushing him away from the falling ceiling in the mansion…

Steve took a deep breath, and slowly took his decision, staring at himself in the mirror: both of them weren’t good at running away, and sure as hell he wouldn’t start now. Leaving was not an option. Tony deserved better than that. 

Confused and unsure as he could still be, Steve wouldn’t leave. Not before put their broken bond back together. 

 

Was late afternoon when Steve decided to go back into the lab. 

He stopped at the glass door with a plastic bag in hand and knocked. When he was ready to knock again (and again and again until someone would answer), the door finally slid aside and, with a little sigh of relief, Steve entered. 

Tony was sitting on a chair, spinning slowly in front of a screen full of calculations, pieces of blueprints and schemes of the Tower. “Cap. Need something?” He asked without looking at him. 

Steve heard again that distant tone that he already started to hate, but tried to ignore it, “No, but I think you do.” He said, standing on the other side of the long desk. He saw Tony look at the bag, “It’s Italian.” He added.

“Alright… you can leave it there. Thanks.” He said, turning back at the screen.

Steve do as he said, but stayed there, watching him. Who was pretending now, was hard to tell… 

“Anything else?” Tony asked writing something on the screen.

“I should be the one asking that.” 

Tony stopped, finally staring at him with cold eyes, “Oh really?” 

“Yes. I apologized for what I did, I’ve explained everything and told you what happened, and you probably discovered the rest all by yourself…” Steve hoped that he would say something by now. No such luck. “Tony, if you want to, I don’t know, punch me-“ 

He scoffed an ironic laugh, “ _Me_ punching _you_?” 

“...or tell me- ask me something, you can. I won’t lie to you. I know I deserve everything you’ll throw at me.” 

Tony raised his eyebrows, “That’s intriguing.” 

“I’m serious.” Steve’s face sure was, but he wasn’t so sure about what Tony might wanted to ask him, or how he was going to answer… but he had to try. Whatever the question could be. 

“Like you said, you explain everything already and I know the rest, so it’s ok.” 

Steve blinked, taken aback. “Is it?” 

“Yeah, sure. We won, we’re all alive, so everyone can be happy. Good job, Captain.” 

Steve knew what was happening: Tony was giving up. He wasn’t sure of anything anymore and, really, how he could not be? The problem was, Steve was more confused than he was. Still hard to see where the lie ended and the truth began… the more he tried to see that line, the more was unclear. 

And what if it wasn’t so important anymore? Too much lies, too much faking… What if Tony’s choice to give up was for the best? The best for both of them...

“….spacing out?” 

Steve blinked, finding the other looking at him with a light frown, “What?” 

“You were spacing out.” 

“Yeah… sorry, I- I think I still have a lot to think about. That’s why I wanted to be sure that at least this was alright.” 

“ _This_?” 

“Us. Between us.” _Oh God, this is going to become another terrible failure…_

Tony stared at him in silence for a moment, then he said with a nod, “We good.” And turned back to the screen again.

“Alright…” Steve couldn’t find anything to say to that. _Better this way_ , he thought, turning around the leave. _How something good could come out from all of this? This, all this was just a terrible consequence of a kidnap, after all. Maybe Tony understood that as well… Then why I feel worse than before?_

“You know what I want to ask you.” Said Tony, making him turn around, “And I know that you know, then why all this scene?” 

“I wasn’t sure about what-” 

“How much was real?” Asked Tony, almost in exasperation, leaving aside the keyboard, “If there was something real.” 

“Of course there is.” 

“So, tell me.” Tony crossed his arms, “One question, there. You have it.” 

Steve took a deep breath, thinking about the past days, “It was true that I wanted to stay here, when I told you that… and it was also true that I wanted to stay away from Fury’s radar.” 

“What about that trip to your old friend?” 

“That was a lie.” 

“So even Clint fell for it. You should be proud of yourself.” 

“I’m not.” 

“When they took you?” 

“That night before the party. They were waiting for me in my apartment.” 

“That’s three days before you showed up again.” 

Steve tried not to think about the three days he had lost. “I know.” He simply said. 

Tony stared at him in silence, then shook his head, in disbelief or resigned, leaning against the back of the chair. 

“Tony, there was nothing you could do. None of you could know something like this was going to happen.” Steve walked closer, standing at the other side of desk again, “I’m sorry about all this, I’m sorry that you were the target, and I’ll probably regret this story forever but you don’t have to feel guilty. You’ve done nothing wrong, you…” Steve took a deep breath, _No running away this time_ , “You helped me to-“ 

“I think you should leave the Stark Tower.” Tony interrupted, voice flat, “At least until the apartments for the Avengers will be ready for all of you.” 

Steve stared at him, closing his mouth a moment later, all his thoughts suddenly disappearing. He didn’t see _that_ coming. 

“The danger is over, you’re free again and I guess you can’t wait to spread your wings outside. You probably miss your daily runs, isn’t it?” 

_No, I don’t._

“And Fury’s still waiting for a report, I’m pretty sure about that seeing all the mails and calls Pepper is getting from him, so… let your patriotic spirit run wild again. Free the eagle and- well, that sound weird… but anyway…” 

“Tony, if this-“ 

“The device is gone; you’re no longer tied to it- or to me. Yeah, I know that story about you connected to the New Element. Clint made some of the bad guys talk and turs out that that was a lie. The Witch and the device were all they needed to keep you on the right way.” Tony nodded with a shrug, “Allergic to New Element? Come on… I guess they just wanted you to stay close and keep an eye on me. Or maybe was just for Christopher’s enjoinment, no idea.” 

Steve felt another knife cut deep in his chest, only this time it wasn’t because of any device. Sometimes words are more than enough. 

Tony grabbed the keyboard again, looking at him, “So… yeah. Go enjoy the freedom you’re always so proud about.” 

Steve stared at him for another moment, then took a breath and said, “If you’re asking me if I want to leave-“ 

“ _I am_ asking you to leave.” Said Tony, face blank and voice impersonal like Steve usually heard it while he was talking with people he didn’t care, “Honestly, after all this, it would be weird living together in here, don’t you think? Better stay away from each other for a while. I’m sure you need it…” 

“I’d never-“ 

“and I need it too.” Tony said, looking straight at him. 

Steve stopped again, because he wasn’t going to win this. He didn’t had the courage to talk before? Well, apparently he missed the chance forever now. Sad thing was, he almost thought that he deserved it. 

Tony was still staring at him, face stone cold. 

“I’ll leave tomorrow morning.” Steve said with a little nod. He didn’t added any sorry because he knew that those were probably banished right now. He just nodded again, some kind of salute, and turned to leave the lab. He stopped downstairs for a second, holding tightly on the banister, then walked to his room to collect all his belongings.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go, ending finally awaits!  
> And my poor feelings can finally explode...

The next morning, New York woke up under dark clouds. It was a surprise for someone, for others was just the leftover of a certain God passing by from another dimension. 

Steve was looking outside for some minutes when he finally snapped out of it and looked down at the sketchbook he meant to take. He grabbed it and put it in one of the bag, slowly closing the zip. The clock signing 8 AM. He could have gone earlier, even at five in the morning, because he was already awake at the hour, but his legs didn’t wanted to move. 

Part of him hoped to receive a call from JARVIS telling him that Tony wanted to talk to him; part of him wanted to storm in the lab and say what he really meant to say in their last meeting… but another part of him knew that leaving was necessary, and probably the best idea for both of them. With Tony feeling betrayed and still guilty, and Steve feeling confused and guilty as hell, spent some days separated maybe could help them not to kill each other. 

Steve took a deep breath and grabbed the two bags leaving the room, closing the door and walking in the silent living room. He didn’t had breakfast that morning, and he already missed the little ritual that was born there. After a quick glare at the lab, he pushed the button to call the elevator. 

“Steve.” 

He looked back and found Bruce coming from the corridor. “Hey…” he saw his sad face and nodded, “’Guess you’ll have more space now.” 

“I tried to talk to Tony yesterday night… he almost called the other guy out of me.” Bruce said with a sigh, arms crossed over the blue, big long sleeved shirt, “I’m sorry that you’re leaving.” 

“Its for the better. Tony’s right. After everything that happened, would be awkward to stay here.” 

“You sure about that?” 

_No, I wanted to solve this, but…_ “Tony asked me to leave.” 

“You could say no.” 

Steve shook his head, “I couldn’t. Not this time.” 

Bruce sighed, “Well, I’ll keep living here, so I can still invite you in.” 

He smiled a bit, “Thanks, but I’m sure Fury will keep me busy for some days.” The elevator’s _ding_ distracted him for a second, “Got to go. Thanks for what you did for me, Bruce.” 

“Don’t mention it.” Bruce waved a hand to him until the metal doors closed. 

Steve stared at it for a moment, then looked down at the buttons, and before he could push the first floor, his phone ringed. “Damn it Clint…” he sighed, moving to grab it from the pocket of his black jacket and read the message: _14th floor_. 

 

A second after leaving the elevator, locked it at the 14th floor, Steve was running to the stairs with a murderous look on his face and a gun in his hand: if someone _only thought_ about start some other funny threat against him or any other of the Avengers, that gun would be used. Enough was enough. 

Steve walked down to the lobby, gun pointed down, and froze in the middle of the stairs, frowning. “Susan?” 

Susan Harrison was smiling calmly at him, the badge of the Stark employee on his red shirt. “Captain.” 

Steve’s brain was spinning like a tornado, “You sent me that message?” 

“Yes. I didn’t mean to scare you, but-“ She stopped few steps away from him and smiled patiently at the gun that suddenly jumped up, straight against her head. 

“It’s you, isn’t it?” Steve hissed, “You’re the witch.” That was so clear now, to almost look stupid: she was inside the Tower, she was close, she was at the mansion, free to do whatever she wanted… 

Susan sighed, “You would be already dead if I really was her.” 

“Who are you then?” Steve was so close to pull the trigger, so damn close. 

“Well…” she looked at herself, “ _I am_ Susan Harrison... but she’s not in charge of herself right now.” 

Steve frowned a bit, slowly lowering the gun, watching her eyes turning from dark to bright red. “You’re controlling her?” 

“She was useful during this week.” Susan nodded, “And she’s very cute, isn’t she? She really like you a lot-“ 

“What else do you want from us now?” Steve interrupt, “Another threat? Your friends are not satisfied yet?” 

“They were not my friends.” She said more serious, “And I’m not here to threat anyone.” 

Steve stared at her for a moment, “Better don’t have a God to fight, uh?” and he almost smiled at the serious expression she made. “Thor was right, then? They forced you to help them?” 

“They had my brother.” She said, voice angry at first, then sad, her red eyes looking down for a moment, “You friend allowed me to get free and save him… and I know that he knows it.” 

_That’s why Thor was so sure she wouldn’t attacked us again_ , Steve thought. 

“I didn’t promised him to be your friend or an ally of any sort, but I don’t have reasons to destroy you or your friends either.” She said, “Everything I have done, I’ve done it for help my family. Just like you.” 

Steve allowed her just some second of understanding, “That’s your way to apologize?” 

Susan laughed a bit, “I’m not. I had my reason to do what they wanted.” 

“Then why you’re here?” 

“Because I wanted to meet you in person. Well, almost in person.” She said, making some step closer, staring at him, studying him, “And because I wanted to tell you only one thing: I didn’t forced you to do anything, nor I’ve changed your thoughts. I haven’t done anything to your brain… you were not under my control. Not like Susan is right now, as you can see.”

Steve blinked, standing where he was, “You were inside my mind-“ 

“Just spying.” She smiled a bit, placing a hand on his heart, “Keeping under control you and the little thing you had here. Nothing more.” 

Steve shoved her hand off, looking coldly at her. 

She took a step back, still a little smile on her lips, “I just thought it would be fair to tell you. I will be busy from now on…”

“Other people to threat?” 

She smiled, her red eyes glowing, “Who knows. They seems more competent, at least.” 

“ _They_? ” 

Susan looked up, tilting her head a bit, almost curiously, then stared back at him, “Didn't you forget something?” 

Steve frowned and the second after he jumped forward to grab Susan before she crashed on the floor: when she opened her eyes, they were not red anymore, just confused. 

“What- Captain Rogers? What happened?” she asked, a hand on her head. 

“I… I was talking to you and you suddenly fainted.” He lied, hiding the gun behind his back. 

“Oh… really?” 

“Did you had breakfast this morning?” 

“I… no, I… maybe I should’ve.” She laughed tiredly while he helped her to stand. 

“Come on… I think we both need a coffee.” He said moving them to the stairs and the elevator, hoping not to see those red eyes anytime soon. 

Steve left Susan in her office, with a coffee and a piece of cake, before go back in the elevator once again. He stared at the bags at his sides, taking a deep breath. So the witch was free just like him, but apparently not a danger anymore... or, well, for now. Maybe he should warn Fury about her… or maybe was better to let everything settle down a bit before start another battle. 

The elevator’s door opened and he walked through the main hall, busy with people. 

_“I didn’t forced you to do anything, nor I’ve changed your thoughts. I haven’t done anything to your brain…”_

Steve thought about the Witch’s words and felt a flash of anger. She was just spying... He could’ve just took the reactor the first day, afterall, but he didn’t. He tried to make it easier for Tony, more than for himself. Lying seemed less painful, he just didn’t know that Tony would- that Tony would trust him so much…  
The Witch didn’t forced him to be friendly or to care about someone, or to risk his life for Tony…

He stopped some steps from the entrance, fighting against his own thoughts. If only Tony had let him speak the other night… if only he could listen for once, before close in himself again… even if he may had all the reasons to do it this time. It just- it wasn’t fair. He did nothing wrong. His trust wasn’t a mistake.

Steve tightened the grip on the bags: Tony asked him to leave, he kind of kick him out, but still… 

_“Didn't you forget something?”_

Steve blinked, looking outside, a draw of Captain America on a wall, in the streets. _I forgot the shield_ , he thought, looking up at the top floor, scoffing in surprise: he had never forgot his shield before.  
After all, he could just leave it there, it wasn’t a problem… or he could just go back, take it and leave without see or talk to anyone. 

He looked outside and sighed. 

Five minutes later, he was on the top floor again, a bit ashamed, but he walked straight to his room, grabbed the shield and walked back in the silent, way too silent, living room. 

Steve took a deep breath, then he frowned: some wires were moving outside, from above the balcony. From the roof? “JARVIS.” 

“Welcome back Captain Rogers, how can I-“ 

“Where’s Tony?” 

 

Steve was on the roof of the Stark Tower in a moment, shield on his back, looking around in the wind, watching the city from the impressive height. There was still some pieces of the machine Natasha blocked up there, to close the portal… the same portal were Tony almost died…

Something caught his attention and turning he saw Tony himself standing on top of one of the little structure that probably were hiding the Tower’s controls and electric connection. “Tony?” he called, watching his back, walking to him, “What are you doing?” he asked when he was basically underneath him, but he didn’t answer, keep looking at the sky, and then he noticed it: Tony was shivering a bit, looking at the dark clouds, tension on his face, almost fear, but he wasn’t moving. “Hey… Tony.” Steve didn’t want to scare him, but he called him once again, more firmly this time, and the other jumped a bit. 

Tony blinked some times before looking down at him, and he almost jumped again, “Why you’re-“ 

“Hey- watch out!” Steve saw him lose his balance, one foot in the wrong place, bending on the other side of the structure, and he jumped to get him. Only, he didn’t noticed that they were almost at the edge of the roof: Steve focused only on him, though, and caught him into his arms, the hit sending both on them over the edge and in a second they were sliding over the windows of the top floor’s roof. 

Steve kept Tony against himself with an arm, trying to stop themselves with the other and, almost at the end of the windows, he managed to grab the edges of one them. “Hold on… I’ll try to-“ 

“Get- off me-“ 

“I can’t right now-“ 

“GET OFF ME!” 

“YOU’LL FALL DOWN!” Steve never saw Tony so angry and scared, he didn’t panicked so much not even for the reactor, and if he was going to continue like this, they were going to fall together. He looked up and grabbed the shield, hitting the edges of window that opened underneath them, at the same moment when Tony kicked him away with a foot.

Tony fell down, inside the tower, on one of the newest catwalk, staying still there, breathing and blinking fast, trying to regain some control. He sat there, looking around, almost sure that he imagined everything but, looking up, he saw the window open, “Steve…?” he said unsure, then the realization of what actually happened slowly come to him. He jumped up, still unsteady, running down through the lab and then in the empty living room and finally outside: still, no sign of Captain America. 

Tony reached the edge of the balcony, staring down, slowly placing his hands through his hair, feeling the panic rise again. 

“Here- I’m here.” 

Tony turned around so fast he almost lose his balance again. 

Steve was half lying in the little garden on the other side of the balcony, some meters away, with a cut on his forehead and his left arm stuck high over his head, into some of the wires, shield still in hand. He looked at Tony for a moment, before murmur something looking at his own leg, then back at him “You’re ok? Anything broken?” he asked, trying to free himself from the plants… Pepper sure wouldn’t be happy about that- 

The sudden punch he received sent him back down, more because of the sudden attack that because of the strength used. 

“ARE YOU CRAZY? What the hell were you thinking?!” roared Tony, grasping his t-shirt, face red of rage. 

Steve was still half stuck in surprise, “I- I was trying to help-“ 

“I didn’t ask for your help!” 

“You almost fell-“ 

“Because you scared me!” 

“That’s because you were spacing out looking at the sky!” 

“That was none of your damn business!” 

Steve blinked in disbelief, “That wasn’t- why you were up there in the first place?” 

“I was working!” 

“It was dangerous!” 

“ _You_ almost died!” 

“You were having a panic attack!” 

“Then why you just didn’t let go?!” 

“ _Why?_ Are you- we were on the roof!” 

“You just had to let me go!” 

“I tried to kill you once, that was more than enough for me!” 

“And I almost killed you! I thought that I killed you!”

Steve stopped what he was going to say, still tense from the sudden series of events, but also looking sadly at him: Tony was shaking like a leaf, wide eyes, ready to scream even more, or faint, or cry… or maybe all three together. “Tony…” 

“Why you always have to come back? Why you always have to be there when I need you?!” 

“That answer the question itself…” 

Tony tightened the grip on the jacket, “I told you to leave, why you can’t just **leave**!?” 

Steve sighed, a tired grin on his face, “Looks like I just can’t do that.” 

“You can and you will! And don’t you dare grin at me- I swear, I’m gonna kick you out myself!” 

“Probably. Because I won’t leave. Not if you need me.” Steve said, his arm still slowly swinging above them, with his shield along in the movement, “That’s how a friend works.” 

Tony stared at him, still shaking, still angry, “That’s fucking stupid.” 

“Funny you said that, because that’s something I learned from you in the last week.” 

Tony pulled his shirt a bit more, his breath still shattered, but he didn’t moved, kneeling in front of him in the grass, “Why you’re back? I saw you leaving- why the hell you’re back?” 

“I forgot the shield.” Steve say honestly, moving his arm a little, “I _was_ leaving. I was at the door, I could leave even without the shield, but then I thought that you just told me to go away without listen what I was going to say the other night-“ 

“Because I don’t care.” 

“You do care.” Steve smiled patiently, “I didn’t know it before, but in this week I saw it... the more I was trying to keep distance from you, the more I saw how hard you were trying to be help me, and I hated Christopher so much… I hated him even more because I didn’t need of someone like him to show me how much wrong I was about you.”

Tony almost laughed bitterly, “Still, you missed the main point.” 

“I didn’t.” 

“Oh, so you just choose to ignore it?” 

Steve looked serious at him now, grabbing his wrist with the one hand he still could use, “Yes, because I had to. Christopher told me that everything would be easier pretending to be in love with you from the beginning, he tried to convince me to lie about that too. That would’ve been better? That was what you wanted?” He stared at him for a long moment, but Tony didn’t said anything. Steve took a deep breath, trying to sound less angry, “I was just trying to make it less painful for you. I’ve never played with anyone’s feelings in my whole life, Tony… I didn’t wanted to start with you. The least I could do was to save your life, and I am glad that I did it. I couldn’t lose another friend on the battlefield…” 

“I told you already that you’re not a human shield, and God help me, you are not _my_ human shield.” 

“Just sometimes.” Steve smiled a bit watching him ready to punch him again, then he looked down and slowly placed his forehead against his chest with a light thump, the reactor’s light shining against his face, eyes closed. He never felt so tired in all his life. “Please, don’t hate me just because I want you to stay alive as long as possible.”

Tony let go of his jacket, staying still on the spot. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, “You better do the same. I don’t take well stupid sacrifices.” 

“I know…” Steve sighed, “You’ll believe me this time, if I say that I’m sorry?” 

Tony looked down at his blonde hair and dropped his shoulders in resignation, shaking his head.

 

After some time spent trying to free Steve’s arm from the wires, the soldier was sitting on the couch once again, jeans dirty of grass and mud, an arm still a bit sore and a leg stretched on the coffee table. The shield placed next to him. 

“Here.” Tony came back with a bag of ice and a little cloth. He was still tense, seeing from his movements, but he could talk and breath normally now, and that was good. 

“Thanks.” Steve placed the ice on his knee with a little hiss of pain, then he looked back at him, checking him up and down. 

“I’m fine.” Tony said, voice low now, looking just tired as the soldier felt. He handed him the cloth, “You cut your face, there… here.” He said placing it on the wound above his right eye. 

Steve nodded and kept it there by himself, “You sure you’re ok?” he asked, looking up at the catwalk, “Was a nice fall from there too.” The window was still open.

Tony just nodded and sat in front of him, passing both hands over his face. 

Steve waited a bit, unsure, then he couldn’t stop himself, “You suffer of panic attacks?” 

“No shit, Sherlock.” 

“From when?” Steve had been stuck with him for a week, in very bad situations too, but he never had any attack… 

“From today, apparently.” 

He blinked, “That was the first time? Out of the blue?” 

“Listen, I told you already, you should leave-“ 

“You can talk to me.” Steve insisted, looking seriously at him, “We talked already- I’ve told you things that I’ve never said to anyone… those weren’t lies.” 

Tony stared at him for a moment, into those blue eyes completely focused on him. He took a quick breath, “I think the trip through the portal wasn’t the piece of cake that I thought it would be. I was- I was trying to fix something in the central system up there, on the roof, then I looked up and…” his breath came out a bit shaken again, “I don’t know. For a moment I saw the portal still there, open and waiting.” And he started a shake himself now. 

Steve noticed it and before start to panic himself, he said, “I have an addiction for French fries.” 

Tony blinked twice, looking up at him, frowning, “What?” 

“I thought that a distraction could help.” 

Tony was still frowning, then took a deep, still tense breath, and laugh. “Jeez, Cap…” he said, a hand over his tired face. 

“Well, it worked.” Steve sighed in relief. After the giggles faded, he saw him shook his head, “It’s understandable, after what you got through... but you can handle it. I’m sure you can.” 

“You’re positive enough for both of us.” Tony commented, then looked back at him, more serious, “So… our chats were real? All of them?” 

“Yes.” 

“So when you said that you didn’t know, that time in the lab, was it true?” 

Steve remembered that _I don’t know_ he said before Christopher showed up. “It was.” He said, looking at him, face calm, still kind of apologizing. 

Tony took another deep breath, then JARVIS’s voice said “Sir, Miss Potts on the call.” And the inventor sighed, “I’ll get it from here.” He said and after a _bip_ , he added, “Hey Pep. Perfect timing as usual.” 

“What?” asked the woman, her perplexed voice echoing in the living room. 

“Nothing. You’re in New York already?” 

“Almost. I hope you’ll be ready to go in ten minutes.” 

“I will.” 

“Good. Everything alright?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Ok… see you in a bit.” And another _bip_ closed the call. 

Steve silently listened the conversation, but when Tony looked at him again, he asked, “You’re leaving?” 

“Yeah. And isn’t- it’s not because of you.” Tony said quickly, “Pepper arranged a meeting yesterday, to discuss some of update in the Tower’s security.” 

Steve almost told him about the little chat he had with the Witch that morning, but he didn’t wanted to stress him more right now, or put Susan in some problem. The Witch said that they were even now, that she didn’t have reasons to hurt them anymore, and Steve wanted to believe that. At least for now. 

“And that’s why I told you to leave as well.” Continued Tony. 

“I thought you just didn’t wanted me around anymore.” 

“Let’s say fifty-fifty.” Tony stared at the shield then stood up, “Well, I need to change. I’ll see you… sometime, somewhere, I guess. Don’t forget your shield this time.” And he was gone through the corridor. 

Steve stayed sat there for a long moment. _Don’t forget your shield_ … sounded more like _I still want you to leave_. And why he shouldn’t? Tony was leaving too, maybe for days... 

The elevator’s door opened and Bruce appeared. He spotted the Captain and, staring at his terrible conditions, he dropped his shoulder, “Seriously? I just called SHIELD saying that we don’t need any doctors anymore… What the hell happened this time?” 

Steve sighed, a tired smile on his lips. 

Tony walked back in the living room after half an hour, and after an angry Pepper threatened him to come and drag him out from the Tower herself, by his tie, if he wasn’t going to move.

He looked around, wearing one of his black, elegant suit: there was no one, the living room was empty… and this time the shield wasn’t there either. Taking a deep breath, he moved to the balcony, where the helicopter was waiting to take him away as well.

-.-.-.- 

 

That night, after spending all the day running from a meeting to another, Tony’s limo arrived at the Tower later than usual. 

Pepper closed her laptop and stared at him while the car was slowly parking. “You’re sure to be fine?” 

“Uh? Yeah.” 

“I can stay with you if you want.”

“You said you have an important dinner tonight.” 

“I won’t go. Its not a problem.” 

He smiled a bit, “Nah, don’t worry.” 

Pepper sighed, “You really think that kick Steve out was a good idea?” 

“I did not kick him out-“ 

“Sure, you just told him to leave almost ten times.” 

“and I told you what happened. It would be too weird, even for me… and I would like to protect what remain of my dignity, if you don’t mind.” 

“Dignity? You have that?” 

“Really, Pep?” 

“Unbelievable.” 

They stared at each other while the car stopped, then both sighed and huffed a laugh. “It was better that way. He had to stay stick to me for a week. That can exhaust even Captain America.” 

“You could had at least asked him if he wanted to stay or not.” 

_"If you’re asking me if I want to leave..."_

Tony remembered Steve saying that but, no, he didn’t let him finish that time. Part of if now wondered how he would’ve end that sentence… 

“It was the right thing to do.” He said instead, grabbing his jacket, “Thanks for the support today.” 

“My pleasure.” She smiled ironically while he hop out and close the door. 

Tony looked up at his own tower for a moment, before walk inside: there was calm at that hour, only few employee and the men from the security checking the situation. He nodded a salute at them until he was in the elevator, floating to the top floor once again. 

With his back against the metal, he slowly loosened his tie, taking off the jacket, and closed his eyes. Thinking about that morning still make him shiver a bit, how he just froze in place there, on the roof; how he couldn’t move and suddenly he was falling and falling… and then Steve was there. Of course he was there once again, even if he told him to leave, even if he was so close to hate him. Close, but he still couldn’t, apparently.

Now was different, though. Steve wasn’t there anymore. They need to get back some of the personal space they lost so quickly in the last week, and that was for the better… Yes. It was. 

Tony sighed, scratching the back of his neck, hearing the _ding_ of the elevator, but he made only a step ahead before froze on the spot: in front of him there were paper stripes of any colors, covering half of the view on the living room. 

He stared at the funny curtain for a moment and then, slowly, he moved through it and outside the elevator: the living room had some other colorful decoration around, and some balloons floating around, some on them attached to the furniture and… and Natasha and Clint were in the kitchen, talking with a cup of something steamy in their hands. 

Natasha turned to look at him when he was closer, and smiled, “Welcome back. You took your time, uh?” she said: she was wearing some kind of military suit, but not her normal Black Widow suit. 

Tony blinked at them, “Y-yeah… you- I thought you were still in…?” 

“Ireland. And no, I came back this afternoon.” She said, looking down at herself, “No time to change either, thanks for that, by the way.” 

“Don’t blame the poor inventor, come on.” Laughed Clint, before he could said something, “It should be a surprise.” 

“We tried.” Said Natasha, her smile more genuine now. 

“Uh… guys, I’m happy to see you but I think I missed something.” 

“That’s what I was thinking too.” Nodded Natasha. 

“Go ask the Captain. This morning he called for the assemble.” Clint said, pointing at the lab with a thumb.

Tony blinked at them, a bit more serious now, “Something happened?” 

“Yeah. He said he own you a party.” Clint shrugged, smiling, “I’m not complaining, but it was kind of unexpected.” 

“You would never complain about parties.” Commented Natasha. 

“Cheers.” He smiled, rising the cup.

Tony stared at them for a moment, then looked up and walked to the lab. Once at the door, he stopped again: most of the desks were on the other side of the room, creating a big space in the first area, where now were two sofa and the little coffee table, stolen from downstairs. In front of all that, there was a projector, on a table, ready to show something on the big wall in front of it… and there were Bruce and Steve, trying probably to fix it. 

“You’re sure this is going to work?” asked the Captain, staring intently at the little machine. 

“Yes, I just need to-” a little crack of electricity from it startled both of them and they took a step back. Bruce sighed, “I really don’t want to set the lab on fire…” 

“And I really agree to that.” Nodded Steve, laughing a bit, then he looked at the entrance and his smile changed. It became more… relaxed. “Hey, you’re here.” 

Bruce looked back at him in despair, “Mind to help us with this?” 

Tony moved closer, “What are you doing?” he asked, looking around and then at the projector. 

“Trying to fix this for the movie. Sorry for the mess, we’ll take care of it when we’re done.” Said Bruce, still looking nervously at the machine. 

“It’s ok, but…” Tony’s instinct kicked in and turning a button and pressing something else, suddenly the projector was ready to be used, the loading screen appearing on the wall. 

“Thank you! Finally.” Smiled Bruce, then looked at the Captain, “I’ll go tell the others.”

“Call Rhodes too? Maybe he need help coming up here with the dinner.” Steve said and the doctor nodded going back downstairs. He then looked at the other and the smile faded for a second, “What?” 

Tony was staring intently at him. “ _What_? That’s my line. What is happening here? I thought you had left. Again.” 

“Yeah, well… I did, actually. I was outside and then I thought that maybe this would be a good idea.” 

“What, assaulting my lab?” 

Steve huffed a laugh, “I missed the last party you made, so I planned another one.” 

If Tony was still perplexed, now he just stared at the soldier in awe. 

“Natasha was coming back home, so I called the others too. Pepper will be here as well.” 

“So this was her _important dinner_ …” 

“I guess? I hope. I asked her to join us this morning... she sounded pretty happy about it.” 

“I bet she was.” Tony shook his head a little, still in disbelief, “Well, it started with a party, will end with a party. Sounds good to me.” 

Steve stared at him, and then just nodded. 

“So, we’re going to watch some movie here?” 

“Natasha already chosen the first one.” 

“Wow. Really?” 

“You can choose the second.” He laughed. 

“Yeah, fine… what did she pick?” 

“It was called Magic Mike, I think. Its a good one?” 

“Goddammit, Nat...” 

.-.-.-.-. 

The party turns out as good as the first one. Maybe a bit better, being honest. 

They all had fun, enjoying the night, the food, drinks and the movies too. No one asked or talked about what happened in the Tower in the last week, and that was for the best. 

Tony saw Steve and Natasha outside once, in the balcony, but he didn’t asked anything and when they were back inside, they looked fine. 

No one talked about it, sure, but Tony had the feeling that most of them already knew enough. That was good, though, because he sure wasn’t in the mood to pick up the discussion.. 

He actually wondered if Steve said something about his panic attack to someone, maybe to Pepper, but he didn’t have the courage to ask her, and she didn’t said anything about it. Maybe she was just waiting for the next day to talk about his new problem, and that was for the good of everyone. 

 

Tony woke up on the couch, in the lab, when JARVIS told him that was 8 AM.  
He rolled on his stomach, falling on the floor with a groan. He tiredly looked around, sitting up when noticing that the other couch was gone, and also the projector. Most of the furniture of the lab were back on their original place… Bruce wasn’t joking, then. 

He huffed a laugh and stood, walking through some balloons that somehow managed to come up there. 

The living room’s floor was covered of them, half of the decoration fell down, but the place was relatively clean and in order. 

“Sir, I should call for someone to fix the window?” asked JARVIS.

Tony looked up, smiling at the broken window that the amazing Avengers just closed with lot, lot of tape, and where someone, probably Clint, sent an arrow with other balloons attached, now swinging slowly from there. “Yeah… call them for this afternoon.” He said. He couldn’t help it: that touch of color in the black, cold ceiling was just cute. He should’ve added more color in there, maybe… 

Hearing a low thump, he turned around still smiling, Steve’s name right over his lips, but there was no one there: just some balloon falling on the floor. The smile faded a bit, and he shook his head, going into the kitchen and there he discovered the real tragedy: “J, we’re out of coffee?” 

“It would be a good idea to refill our supplies, once in a while, Sir.”

Tony groaned and sat down, head over his arms placed on the table. He took a deep breath, sniffing the smell of wine on his shirt. He really should go take a shower, but the coffee… 

Other thumps, but this time he didn’t bother to look. Until there was a thump in front of him and he looked up. 

“’Morning.” Steve said, already dressed up, “Don’t worry, there is coffee. I buy it yesterday, Clint probably hide it somewhere.” He said, checking around for a moment, “Ah, found it.”

Tony stared at him preparing the coffee, he couldn’t stop himself. 

“We didn’t broke anything upstairs, right?” Asked Steve.

Tony managed to answer only when he looked back at him, “No. No, it’s- everything’s fine.” 

“Good. Everyone enjoyed the party. I begin to understand why you like them so much.” He laughed a bit, pouring the coffee into two mugs. 

“Uh-uh… and I just fell asleep.”

“You were tired. And I stopped Clint from painting over your face, so don’t worry.” Steve put the cup in front of him, “Well, Bruce is still sleeping, and I’ll be out in a sec. Fury’s still waiting for my report.” He said, drinking his coffee in big gulps until he finished it and washed the cup before put it away. Then he saw the other still staring at him, “So… I’ll see you later, then?” 

Tony blinked, then snorted out a breath, half relieved, half resigned. “Yeah. Ok.” He said, a so slight smile on his face.

The soldier nodded a salute, like he usually seemed to do, and walked away, grabbing a bag left on the couch before disappearing behind the fancy, colorful curtain still attached outside the elevator. 

Steve took a deep breath once he was alone inside the little cabin.  
He said that he didn’t know at the time, and that was still true… but the little smile on Tony’s face worth to try again. This time on his own, and finally find a proper answer.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

Note:  
If you're feeling like "No Stony moments? q_q there should be more love, they should've ended up together *cough*maybe in bed*cough* GGGggnnnnhh", I understand. I really do. I thought that the ending may would've turned to something like that on it's own while betaing (because the story really changed a lot in some points, during the fixing time, and also I do ship them together), but... I don't know, maybe I tried to think more seriously about poor Steve still too much confused to face a love story with Tony right away. Because he care about him, and he want to be sure of what he really want *sigh*. So in the end, I decided to really let him free to decide, also giving you, my dear readers, the same freedom to see the ending as you want: there will be love, or there will be a new and strongest friendship? I wasn't able to decide, so I just left it that way. (That was also the original ending so, as I said, despite the betaing, my mind was focused on the plot from the beginning).  
Hope this ending won't disappoint too much who was waiting for a love ending, but I think it is, in is own way... I hope to know what you all think about it, of course.  
Well, my poor feelings are still hurt after all this monster of a fic... but I really loved to write it, I think I'm gonna miss it.

ps. If you're a true Marvel fan, you probably understood who the "Red" Witch really is by now, right? ...Right? *sudden anxiety*

**Author's Note:**

> * Thanks for reading! *


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